Kategori: İngilizce Floodlar

DAD: Son, now that you are 18 there's something you should know. The men of our family don't reproduce like other men. We evolve. I am not your father. Your father is your uncle Robert. I am your mother.

MOM: Your mother has been a wonderful girlfriend to me, and I love you like a son. When your digestive system becomes a reproductive system, I hope that you can find a woman to take care of you. Maybe an older woman.

Driving in my lada right after a vodka

Hey, that pothole is shaped like a capitalist

​DUI?

​How about you die?

​I'll go a 85 kilometers An hour!

Little do you know, I filled up on gas

Imma get your money-making ass

Pulverize this fuck ​With my Niva Lada

​It seems you're out of luck!

​BLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAT!

I can’t take it anymore. I’m just trying to go out of town. I take my sibling to the airport. On the way, I see a lot of electrical towers. I think of Endfield. I see some rice fields. I think of Endfield. At the airport check-in, I watch the system scan the baggage. I remember Endfield.

When I r word you I shall feel ecstatic. I will break into your home and teach you to whom you belong. First, I shall educate you by eliminating your pesky family with a firearm. Then, your precious pet will be gone from existence. How dare you have the audacity to put anything before me. When you belong to me. I possess every inch of your being for the remainder of eternity. Third, I shall be filled with utter glee as I tear your garments to shreds. Finally, after I had my way with you, I will show you what remains of your love ones, and then, I will force my dog on you as well, whilst I taun...Devamını Oku

I think the real reason is that generally the people that consume cartoons and comics tend to be much more creative and are much more imaginative. Which explains why a lot of people within these communities love transforming said media into unique works. It enables a different part of the brain compared to books which tend to not really encourage people to think creatively. After all one of the hardest things is creating a story, imagining it, and then putting it into some sort of visual format accurately. And for fans taking existing works and transforming them into something they imagine. It...Devamını Oku

Sorry, the only Minecraft mod I’ve ever played that added to the game is the one where both the villagers and enemy mobs all have fat cocks. Every other part of the game is exactly the same, except for the huge cocks.

I’d hear hissing, turn around and see a creeper, and instead of running I’d look down and see its hog and then boom, I’m dead. It added something that the base game was desperately missing.

Hi Guilherme, I wanted to apologize for the way I ended things. I want you to know that you're not to blame for anything; you were a great boyfriend and I'm grateful for everything. I'm going through a difficult time and I don't know what to do. I didn't want you to feel bad about our relationship, so I preferred to end it for the good of both of us. I hope you understand and find someone who makes you very happy, because you deserve it!

Guys, I know how to handle the Greenland situation. All the Danish have to do is make an NFT of Greenland and give it to Trump, it'll be like he owns the real thing but better cuz it'll be recorded on the blockchain and thus validated and verified by everyone. The Danish could still "run" the island, but what for, Trump would be the real indisputable owner, and even if the Russian or Chinese attacked and conquered it, it wouldn't matter because NFTs are non-fungible.

Everyone here I'm just going to say it. Dont buy No Man's Sky. And I shall convey the reason: I can't find my friend in the game. Although they advertise that the game is multiplayer, we've been to the same star system and even down to the planet. He swore he was there although I couldn't verify because he said sharing his screen caused lag in the game. He has a 4070ti and a strong intel cpu with at least 3 giga hertz so I'm not sure I believe this whole lag hoax

Be an alpha and poo on it and squeeze it wit the snickers bar and give it a good sniff like a true man. Nothing like smelly poo and chocolate mixed in to smell on the fingers delightful. Also mix that smell from your cheese of sweaty balls too

​

honestly who actually hurt you? i’m sitting here staring at my screen and i just can’t wrap my head around the level of pure concentrated pathetic energy it takes to be a high level griefer in this game.

i’m level 35. i’m new. i don’t have the submarine or a nightclub or millions in the bank. i just spent the last hour meticulously setting up a weed delivery and it was only gonna be like 40k. for some of you that’s pocket change you spend on snacks but for me that’s my next upgrade and actual progress. then the global signal goes off and within thirty seconds here come...Devamını Oku

I don't play Shattered Pixel Dungeon. Shattered Pixel Dungeon plays me. Shattered Pixel Dungeon is not a fun game at all, no. If you guys thought so, well, you better go back to playing your stupid games. Shattered Pixel Dungeon is not a game. It's a state of life. It's drugs.

As soon as I pick up my phone, my muscle memory forces me to open that app. Shattered Pixel Dungeon sucks. It's a disgusting "game". And I like it. Or rather, Shattered Pixel Dungeon itself makes me believe that I'm fine with it. And I'm fine with it. As soon as I start playing Shatter...Devamını Oku

Not like, violently. Just enough that it became Normal. Like you’d spill coffee and before you even reacted you would find your body was already bracing.

Slap, slap, slap, slap.

Bro, it was muscle memory for all of us. It wasn’t even disciplinary. Sometimes he’d just walk by and slap someone. No eye contact, too. Like he was swiping a badge to get into a door. Late to work? Slap. Early to work? Slap. On time? Suspicious. slap. I once said “hey I have an question” and he slapped me mid-sentence and then said “go on.” I forgot the question. HR said “have you tried setting bound...Devamını Oku

After waching yesterday's game, I was filled with nothing but anger and disgust at what this sport has become. I couldn't sleep at all, I kept getting jolted awake by the thought of Gabriel lifting the Champions League trophy. I keep throwing up uncontrollably thinking about those priviliged Arse scum and that Spanish rat doing a parade around London with a shiny new Champions League trophy. The worst thing is, the sheer arrogancy and delusion by their fans all over the Internet would reach an all-time high, I honestly don't think I can handle it at all. I tried reaching out to a t...Devamını Oku

what the fuck did you just say to me you little bitch? i'll have you know My family was hit hard by 2008, if I wanted Lego I had to work damn hard. (unlike the BRAINDEAD Skibidi generation of today) I know that not everyone can afford the $800 sets. That's why they're "collectors sets" they're TOP TIER and NOT for litte broke fucks like you. Including the figs. I don't want to display, or be proud of, a $5 figure- the type of thing a beta cuck known as a "child" with a "toy" would only be proud of. It's worthless. It's fun to collect th...Devamını Oku

Holy shit, holy fuck. Guys, I cannot tell you how horny I am for Ryuko Matoi from Kill La Kill. Can you blame me? I just want to rip Senketsu off of her and plunge my 3-inch moldy meat stick into her tight virgin pussy and release my rotting dick juices into her. Oh fuck, I can't take it anymore. I need her. I need Ryuko so badly. I want her to come into my room and beat the shit out of me while yelling at me, calling a sick pervert for ogling her in her battle form. I want to lick every inch of her high heels clean as I bleed out and cry for being such a pathetic pervert. I need to jack o...Devamını Oku

Morse has been married twice\8]) and has five children.

One day, Morse was walking down a butter brick road through a forest made entirely of candy! The sounds of candy leaves beneath his feet made squishy noises as did they as they fell from the peppermint trees donning every section of the vast and delectable forest. "What a treat this is" thought Morse to himself as he walked further down the path.

All of a sudden, from deep within the recesses of the forest came screams and shrill, high cackling as two gingerbread figures as big as Morse ran out of the woods onto the path. One ...Devamını Oku

Found this gem on r/askreddit

54mg Bromantane + 100mg Thiamine + 150mg Magnesium + 3mg Nicotine + 2 cups of sugared coffee + 300mg Alpha GPC +, if needed (and if you’re aware of the side effects), 50-200mg Modafinil.

My lobster is too buttery, my steak is too juicy, my crops are too fertile, my harvest is too bountiful, my car is too fast, my abode has too many acres, my wife is too attractive and fun to be with, my economy is too stable, my wealth is too abundant, my vision is too sharp, my body is too healthy, my life is too blessed, the weather is too perfect, my computer is too powerful, my monitor is too immaculate, my wifi is too fast, my water is too healthy and refreshing, my name is too revered, my presence is too respected, my house is too clean, my attire is too comfortable, my bed is too comfor...Devamını Oku