Kategori: İngilizce Floodlar

PLEASE put an NSFW tag on your post.
I immediately started masturbating furiously in the bus in front of 43 people. They realized what was going on, opened Reddit to this post and all 43 started to fap furiously too. Even the 64 year old Malaysian nun on the front seat couldn't contain herself - her entire arm was up her vagina as she screamed with pleasure.
I was so horny that my phone flew out of my hand & broke through the window, letting in a relentless tide of horny pigeons who were instantly fucked to death by the passengers.
The nun shoved an entire pigeon family up her pussy. N...Devamını Oku

A while ago, I discovered that certain Kanye songs caused me to become ithyphallic. Ever since then I have been wonking my willy daily to his titillating tunes and having an absolutely delightful time. But suddenly, tragedy strikes. Kanye begins to post certain messages to twitter I am sure you are all familiar with. At first I thought nothing of it and have been sharpening my spear to my hearts content. However, over the following months, the sheer volume of tweets has left me second guessing my masturbatory habits. Should I continue milking my meat-stick or should I terminate such behavior? ...Devamını Oku

Everywhere I work for the last 3 jobs there's always been bowls in the back with this ladies name, cucumbers, peppers, carrots all labelled julienne, do you guys know her? Am I going crazy?

And they're all cut the same aswell, is she so good multiple places hire her to cut their veg? I'm really freaking out over here as my wife started cooking recently and I found a bowl full of carrots LABELLED 'JULIENNE' in the fridge, did she get this lady to cut her vegetables for her?

Is she in on it? Who is this lady? Where does she work?

H-heh… d-don’t talk to me….. l-let me goon in peace. I drink my flat moldy monster energy can while cuddling my anime girl body pillow, logging into discord to moderate the kawaii cafe server, and after my hours are done I hop onto rule 34 to goon to ifa even though I know damn well that he’ll never want me because I’m a sweaty discord mod who hasn’t shwered in two years and dropped out in middle school and live in my mothers basement while eating raw cookie dough sleeves for dinner every night and having explosive diarrhea in my gaming chair while not cleaning it up because it inf...Devamını Oku

HOLY FUCK. OIL.

I WAS WALKING TO THE STORE. MINDING MY BUSINESS. THEN I SEE IT. A SHIMMERING PATCH ON THE PAVEMENT. I KNEEL DOWN. I TOUCH IT. IT’S OIL.

I LOST MY FUCKING MIND. I STARTED SCREAMING. “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT IT’S OIL!” PEOPLE TURNED AROUND. CARS STOPPED. SOME GUY RIPPED OFF HIS SHIRT AND STARTED CRYING INTO AN AMERICAN FLAG.

ONE MAN PULLED OUT A GUITAR AND STARTED PLAYING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM FROM PURE INSTINCT. ANOTHER GUY THREW A BURGER IN THE AIR AND IT JUST STAYED THERE.

I STARTED PUNCHING THE SIDEWALK OUT OF PATRIOTIC RAGE. MY EYES TURNED RED, WHITE, AND BLUE. I DON�...Devamını Oku

It is testicular torsion. The title is exaggarated obviously but it is a legitimate fear of mine.

Okay there might be a lot worse health complications in case an appcalypse happens. The thing is, it'd be sad but I'd accept that I'm dying if one of those happened to me. Like you'd know you have a heart disease, it's just bad luck. But if testicular torsion happens? That shit can be fixable. It hurts but it is fixable. But sometimes the "rotating it by hand" method doesn't work, then what? If you don't treat it you'll die. If you treat it (basically cut...Devamını Oku

Soooo my mom ALWAYSS uses my older brother’s photo as her WhatsApp profile picture.👺👺 ALWAYS!!!🙄🙄 One day, I changed it to MY PHOTO!! The next day? She switched it back to his. 💢💢 I asked her, “Why do you only use HIS PHOTO?!?! Her reply: “Because he’s MY SON!"💢💢 I WANTED TO SCREAM, “Am I not your daughter too?” but I stayed quiet...........😔😔😔

The next day, I saw her scrolling for NEW PICS OF HIM IN HER GALLERY!!💔💔 I asked her, “If I were a boy, would you use my photo...........?”🥲🥲🥲 She instantly answered "OBVIOUSLY!!...Devamını Oku

*inhales* 🅱️OIIII 😂🫱 He need some milk! 👌E💯If she breathes, SHE’S A TH🅾️T💯 REEEEEEEE- XD OOF 🥛 big chungus [everyone liked that] ✅You mean OUR meme *☭ sovet anthem INTENSIFIES* 😱 Keanu Reeves NOT CLICKBAIT 😂 You sir, just won the internet! 🏅 I SMELL PENNIES 🪙 Discord Reddit cringe Genshit Impact furry simp mods be like: minecraft good, fortnite bad, anime bad, tiktok bad, roblox bad 😎 *LE EPICALLY T-POSES* 😂👌💯 Drip Goku: DoUKnowDaWae Cheems that heckin doggo and Sans is Gigachad 🗿 This is so sad, Alexa play Despacito 😔 *Halo Theme...Devamını Oku

WHY WHY why are girls with stinky feet so fukcing hot just why i cant resist them i just wanna fall on my knees for them please im going insane i just wanna be forced to sniff their feet and socks and lick them clean after a month of no washing

My Girlfriend told me I cum too much and that she doesn’t like it and idk what to do. For reference, I, 24M and my gf, 23F have been together for a year and frequently have sex. I cum a lot, usually like 7-8 or more HARD ropes of cum depending on the orgasm, and my cumshots are consistently large. My gf has never been a big fan of cum, but recently it’s become an increasing issue leading to arguments and anger. We’ve tried cumming on a towel, but for any position where I’m not standing up having intercourse it still gets messy and chaotic and ruins the moment. It's so chaotic and m...Devamını Oku

You little incels have no idea what is real manhood, testosterone and a full beard, you think it’s all the people out there fighting wars, working on oil rigs, living off the land… that is kids play, it’s nothing, real man support their wife’s and their wife’s son, real man hold theirs wife’s hands during the bull coitus, I’m not afraid like a little scary boy when my wife is having a BBC party, I support her and all the gentlemen in her. That is trust, that is strength, that is how a real man works.

Good luck basement dwellers incels, I know deep down, you want to be in my sho...Devamını Oku

The brand new burger you can fuck, this burger is better than sex, you can fuck this burger, only at burger king you can stick your dick in this burger, your balls will explode guaranteed, you can cum inside, outside, and all over the new burger king burgers, this burger will make your skin soft and your asshole tight, our astrogenizing burgers will give you tits the size of basketballs and thats no cap, have it your way at burger king where your stupid asshole gets fucked six ways from sunday (i just had to do it agin)

you give off chill pedophile vibes like you lowkey like kids but you went to therapy and got impulse control so you would never hurt one if you know what i mean. im a pedophile too and it makes me happy when i read your comments cuz it feels like i can participate on this sub too. good on you bro thank you so much

Whenever I need to take a poop and I'm busy on a game, I will postpone the pooping by holding my leg under my ass, this feels Insanely good for some reason and I don't know why I get pleasure from holding in poop

is the poop being held at my prostate, making it feel good, or am i just weird?

Thanks

i am 15 years old and got into the roblox condo community through a friend of mine (jalen, 19) around a year ago, i started to erp with lots of people in discord servers and we would end up playing roblox condo games together and it caused me to only be able to think about the next time i can bone someone in roblox, every time im in class i cant focus on my work because ill see this one guy play roblox on my phone and ill start to get a boner from the thoughts of roblox sex in class, this caused me to fail my classes and my parents are very mad at me and can't figure out the cause of this....Devamını Oku

P..p…lease… c-censor.. sighs … ahem!!… a-… starts crying ….. sniff j-…. J….. j… ARGH! screams in agony i-I… can’t!… … sighs…. F-fine!! J-j-j-j…. JOB! starts crying and faints while having seizures Oh! That's not... Men pmo! 💜 I choose the ✨BEAR✨ Sorry, but Zahide won this trend!💜Im just a girl 🎀 Hope this helps! ✌️🙏 user25526345104761 literally predicted all ts🙏😭IS THAT HYPERPIGMENTATION💜💜🙏 WHO IS THIS DIVAAAAA💜🎀💜🙏💜🙏 DID SHE SURVIVE💜💜💜🎀🙏🙏😭 MAMA A GIRL BEHIND YOU🙏💜🎀😭 TUNG TUNG...Devamını Oku

Not everyday but almost everyday when I leave work, I immediately slip my shoes off. As I drive, I remove all my clothing one piece at a time until I'm completely naked. If that wasn't bad enough, I roll my windows down, put my left foot on the dash and beat my meat like it owes me money. But wait, there's more. There are a couple spots on my way home that I'll pull over and finish myself off.

One is a closed service road. One is a field that, when the crops have grown up, is perfect to get out and stroke in the sun. Another is a rarely used service road. I just stop and finis...Devamını Oku

A comprehensive guide to sex with dolphins

There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will al...Devamını Oku

I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me.

You know, when I left the house today I was thinking "Damn, I really hope some hot chick paints my brains all over some fucking hallway." And here we are. I mean really, just absolutely destroy me. I'm talkin' full on, watermelon-in-the-thighs level carnage. And I want it to scare the shit outta me. I mean I hope I piss myself. I hope I piss myself and you call me your little "peepee pisspiss boy." I want you to fuck me up. I mean I want you to make me your bitch. Your little peepee-piss-myself-bitch. I wan...Devamını Oku

using linux is like trying to figure out why your car won't start but you have to fix it and figure it out by yourself but all the mechanics you try to talk to only speak french and if you don't understand they just laugh at you and start jerking each other off in their ricer bmws and then you realize that even though all the parts are being given away for free none of them actually work without like ten other parts and like five different tools but all of your tools have been replaced with little machines that also stop working randomly and you have to read a whole instruction manual ...Devamını Oku