Kategori: İngilizce Floodlar

I own a PTRD for home defence just as Comrade Stalin intended.

Four Capitalists break into my communal housing block, “The Motherland Calls Comrades!”

I blow a crater sized hole in the first man and he’s dead on the spot. Everyone in the building is now deaf and the shockwave has triggered the local air raid siren.

Next I draw my Tokarev and fire one round before it jams, still discombobulated from the muzzle blast I miss entirely and kill my neighbour, he was probably a spy and Comrade Stalin guided my round for the state.

I will have to resort to the Maxim in the stairwell. I cu...Devamını Oku

HUNGARY MENTIONED!!!!!🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺 SAVE THE MANGALICA PIGS!!!!! 🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺 my mangalica is named Franz Liszt! 🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺...Devamını Oku

You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we j...Devamını Oku

Why am I having orgasms because of diarrhea?

So yeah. This is super embarrassing, but lately I (F20s) have had several situations where I’m sitting in a lecture and suddenly get this intense “I need to go to the bathroom right now” feeling - but then it turns into an orgasm, and afterward I still have to run to the restroom of course.

Like… is my poop pressing on something that causes an orgasm? I’m not touching myself or stimulating anything. I’m literally just sitting there fighting for my life during the lecture, thinking I’m about to crap myself, and then this happens

Is ...Devamını Oku

Start as an Adamite and reform it into Naked Nudistics. Soon enough, Catholicism is a thing of the past or banished to Scandinavia or Russia.

Got bored. Decided to conquer Byzantium. Reformed Orthodoxy to The Church of Eastern Nudistics, replacing anything with Natural Primitism. Holy Naked Wars began breaking out. Tiring of them I adventured as a grandson to Pagan, Embraced Ari, and eventually, made the great faith of Naked Buddhistics.

Repeated this process after stopping the Mongols (naturally, through conversion) with Zoroastrianism, finishing the game as the Naked Saoshyant. Fewer than ...Devamını Oku

This is entirely my fault ngl
I just say one stupid thing out of embarrassment and now it’s seen as incriminating and takes away a part of the server that a lot of people liked
I make a fucking fool out of myself in this server every single day and I think this is the worst one so far, now i just feel stupid for all this

Scene: A shady street corner in Woodcrest. A Pimp Named Slickback stands tall in his purple suit, cane in hand, fur coat draped over his shoulders. Uncle Ruckus, in his usual overalls, is ranting as usual. The tension is thick. 

Uncle Ruckus: (pointing a finger) Now listen here, you no-good, jigaboo pimp bastard! I don’t know why you struttin’ around here like you own the damn place. You just a low-down, dirty coon sellin’ ass for pennies! Ain’t nothin’ respectable ‘bout your kind. If the white man was here, he’d slap that stupid-ass hat off your head! 

A Pimp Named Slickback...Devamını Oku

Excuse me? What was that? Did you say “Wacky”? Wacky!!? What the HELL kind of word is THAT!? WACKY!? I HATE THAT WORD!! Fewer words are as excruciatingly STUPID!! And used in description of me!!! FOOK! You said it too!! FUCK!! You said THAT WORD!!! Of all the ass lancing words!! Oh, you bleeding cracks!!! Without fail!! EVERY time I leave my house, it’s as if I’ve given up my every right to be left alone, or treated with respect !!! You flies with your unyielding little minds!!! You think my difference from you is an excuse to “comment” on me, as if I were on DISPLAY for you!!! Lik...Devamını Oku

the a from the starting z-point goes to the middle m-point, after that it goes to the northsoutheastwest g-point, and then it goes back to the frowning tesseract to complete the side mission. the frowning tesseract will eventually reward the a from the z-point with a b, if the z-point a defeats the evil &. the z-point a has received the b. what do you do now? you should move a back to the g-point because this is gonna get really important. once the a is at the northsoutheastwest g-point, all you need to do is find the frowning tesseract's husband, the smiling tesseract. once you found ...Devamını Oku

I got a story. I was just playing minecraft on my PS5. as anyone who has played console enough knows controllers eventually get stick drift. I’m in the mines and mobs sneak up on me because i had loud music playing. I try to fight them and my controller decides to turn me 180 degrees and of course i get rocked. My anger issues have been prevalent since a child, but i’ve managed to keep it down. Although i’ve been fighting this stick drift for a while and im tired of it so i snap, throw the controller and break it. When i get in a mood like this best thing to calm me down is to do somethi...Devamını Oku

this is a real transcript of the meeting between linus tech tips and linus torvalds.

*torvalds opens Exacto knife*

torvalds: "You could stab somebody with this and you'd have fun doing it."

linus: "Would you prefer that or the samurai sword?"

torvalds: "it would take longer"

*torvalds makes stabbing motion*

they then proced to make out, THE END...

Why can't gemini just rtfm. I mean I did and look how I turned out. Single virgin man in his 50s who sits on his computer all day doing nothing but debugging his system. I mean I get so sexually aroused by my system potentially breaking that I have mastered the art of holding my cum lil bro. And btw, noobs can be so disrespectful. Like I'm watching shit from my bestiality-hentai collection and they have the audacity to interrupt my session with a request for help? Like have some respect and RTFM. I mean the Arch Wiki is like the first fucking result on google.

So yall… it all started when God was fed up with how sinful Sodom and Gomorrah was so he sent two angels to check the cities out before he decided on what he was going to do…

Now when the angels got there Lot (Abraham’s nephew) saw them because he was chilling by the city gate…

Lot was like…. Come to my house 🧼 wash up… stay the night 🛌 and then y’all can go on and do what you need to do.

because Lot knew the people in Sodom and Gomorrah were wicked

So anyways… the angels were like…. nahhh we good… we just need to see what these streets talkin bout…

But Lot ...Devamını Oku

I (17 m) had my Yale interview today. The interviewer (25 f) was smoking hot, and we really hit it off. She very clearly liked me and seemed to be giving me “the look” left right and center. I honestly lost count of the amount of times she laughed at things that I said and she seemed to genuinely enjoy talking to me. We ended up chatting for nearly 3 hours, and most of our conversation wasn’t even remotely about Yale—just random things about ourselves. Towards the end of the interview, I had a strange urge to go in for a kiss. It’s as though I completely forgot that this was an inter...Devamını Oku

There's no way in hell SpongeBob in his quickster form is going to defeat Wally West for several reasons and I'll name them now

Wally West's cognitive speed is 1,000 times faster
Wally West could run around the universe in less than 5 seconds
In the comics Wally West clearly became the god of speed and defined death in the face literally
The quickster sponge is a joke
The quickster sponge is a man child who's 35 years old
Wally West could manipulate his molecules out of biomolecular level and even beyond it at a quantum level
He literally defeated Archie's Sonic th...Devamını Oku

Not everything in the chickenfila menu is made of chicken. It has cheeze which is from cow and milkshake which contains milk which is from cow. It also has lettuce and tomoto which is in vegetable kingdom. Some sauces contain egg of chicken poultry but also other things like salt which is an ionic chemical

There are 11 players on each team, one team bats and the other team fields.
There are two referees, called umpires. One umpire tosses a coin, and the two teams' captains decide heads or tails. Whoever wins the toss decides whether they want to bat first or field first.
From the batting team, two players stand on either side of the pitch. The remaining 9 sit on their asses waiting for their turn to come.
One batsman is on the batting side, at whom the bowler has to throw the ball. The other batsman stands on the other end, waiting for his turn to come.
A bowler from the fielding team throws...Devamını Oku

So I know how this sounds, but it was out of my control; the perfect mix of events, urges, and luck happened, resulting in my unfortunate loss.

I had just gotten home from school after a very stressful end-of-trimester week of making up work. I had slept very little and haven’t pooped for a week.

I was very horny but that didn’t matter, I ran to the toilet and let out a monster-sized shit, but it didn’t land normally. It fell tip-to-bottom and faced up. Then my mind flashed to these hot girls I saw at school, and I thrusted uncontrollably on this gravity-defying piece of shit, and let ...Devamını Oku

I feel like this is a safe place to confess. She’s somewhere in the Miami canal. I don’t get too close, but sometimes I drive slowly on the highway just to see if everything still looks… the same. The water level has dropped a bit. That makes me nervous.
I haven’t slept well in months. I still hear the sound of the impact some nights. It was quick. I don’t think she even saw it coming.
I changed jobs. Deleted my socials. Sold the car. I have an escape route planned in case things go wrong. I spend hours looking at the map. Colombia seems like a good option. Jungle, heat… no one ask...Devamını Oku

I know it sounds bad but love just happens. Love will happen wherever it can happen, like murphy said or something.
The worst part, the woman he cheated on me with was no other than our mother.
A mother is supposed to be someone who is always there for you. Well she was there for him at least. Now how can I ever trust my own mother again? She's supposed to respect my dating life. Like yeah, so it's my brother, but still? I thought she would understand... I'm just so heart broken guys. Am I the asshole?