Kategori: İngilizce Floodlar

Dildos don’t DO SHIT when it comes to pleasure

I spent $5000 on several premium pleasure dildos. I stroked them for HOURS on end. I sat on it, touched it with my penis, and even put it on my sisters bed while she was asleep. IT GAVE ME NO PLEASURE, JUST SOME WHITE LIQUID TO CLEAN UP, IT SAID 100% PLEASURE. THIS IS BULLSHIT

I CUT MY FUCKING ASSHOLE OPEN SHAVING IT BECAUSE I WANTED A NICE, PRETTY, PRESENTABLE HOLE. I'M NOT TALKING LIKE A LITTLE BABY PAPERCUT BUT LIKE, DEEP, HEMORRHAGING SQUIRTING GASH AND NOW 10 HOURS LATER I AM LAYING IN BED WITH THE MOST UNIMAGINABLE THROBBING PAIN YOU CAN IMAGINE EMANATING FROM MY BOYPUCCI LIPS EVERY TIME I GIVE IT A LIL SQUEEZE BUT I NEED TO TAKE A MEGA SHIT NOW AND THIS IS LITERALLY WORSE THAN CHILDBIRTH HELP ME PLEASE

I have never understood why Blowjobs and Cunnilingus are seen as mainstream and normal sex acts. Considering how utterly disgusting and one-sided it is ,these acts should be seen as the same way a Kink or fetish is seen. Like BDSM or Pissplay. Something that is utterly gross and weird and not something that is perfectly normal and even expected to do or ask for. It's a sex act that makes little sense both from an obvious point of view and from a sexual point of view ,yet people somehow do it?

First of all the act itself it literally disgusting. You are putting someone's genitals into ...Devamını Oku

His lips are so incredibly thick whilst not being overwhelming, and I really needed to know how it would be like to be sucked by such active lips. His majestic and imposing figure is also so HOTTTTTTTTTT

The Ethical Gooning Constitution:

1 It must be faithful to the source material.
2 The source material must be original and/or tasteful.
3 The acts being committed are within reason, consent and law.
4 If it is art, digital or traditional, it must be created with true passion, effort and care.
5 Taste is subjective, and the public reserves the right to chopped and fine shyts, however, the shyt must be mentally and physically of age.
6 The acts committed must not be physically or mentally harmful and unenjoyable to the fine shyt.
7 You must not goon more than twice a day.
8 The quality and nece...Devamını Oku

I 43(F) have been seeing my son 13(M) trying to get me and his father to say the word "Gex." What does this word mean and why does he keep saying the simple yet enigmatic sentence "Say gex."?

earthquakes suck 😭😭🤬🤬 i bet your titties were bouncing so much tho... were they?👀😏 ahaha im joking... unless? 🙈😅

Here are all of the Epstein Files that have either been leaked or released.

https://joshwho.net/EpsteinList/gov.uscourts.nysd.447706.1320.0-combined.pdf (verified court documents)

https://joshwho.net/EpsteinList/black-book-unredacted.pdf (verified pre-Bondi) Trump is on page 85, or pdf pg. 80

Trump’s name is circled. The circled individuals are the ones involved in the trafficking ring according to the person who originally released the book. These people would be “The List “ Here is the story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsiKUXrlcac

Here's the flight logs https://www.doc...Devamını Oku

I Ruined My Prostate By Trying To "Develop Hyperspermia"
from r/confessions

So I basically ruined my junk because I was trying to have those "monster loads". For about 10 years I got really into the idea of hyperspermia. Like, I wanted those huge loads you see in weird porn gifs or on those shady forums where dudes claim they're filling up pint glasses.

So I started obsessively taking semen pills. Every morning, every afternoo didn’t miss a single dose. I had this rotation of like 12 different supplements. Pygeum, zinc, lecithin, maca, tongkat, whatever else some d...Devamını Oku

Don’t get me wrong — I’ve supported Trump for as long as I can remember. I think back to this one time in, I wanna say, first grade, when we did a mock election between Hillary and Trump. All the girls in my class voted for Hillary, and all the boys voted Trump. I was the only girl who picked Trump — and I remember not even hesitating. Even back then, I just knew.

But being a MAGA teen in a world full of loud liberal voices? It’s suffocating. You constantly feel like you have to walk on eggshells, like just having your own opinion is offensive. And what’s worse is listening to peo...Devamını Oku

I just unalived my neighbour's gerbil, but they don't know it yet. I was trying to do a favour, as their gerbil had escaped its cage and scurried into the crevice of my backyard's fence. Unfortunately, my grass hadn't been mowed, and the grass' length was way too overgrown — perfect for a little gerbil to hide and thrive in.

As I was diligently and earnestly trying my best to follow the panicking, minuscule rodent — which just had to escape into my luscious fields of green — my heel hit, crack! In hopes that my paranoia of the worst possible scenario had not just hap...Devamını Oku

I (14M) am currently in the car with my mom (44F). She is completely oblivious of what I am currently doing. I am watching thug porn as i right this, and she has not a clue. She is positive that im straight, as i have a girlfriend, but I am currently watching dreamybull masturbating with his feet hanging high. It is absolutely beautiful. I have never seen something this breathtaking in my entire life. I’m currently tearing up. Not only am i tearing up, however, I also have a massive and firm erection. I am living the life. Praise the lord for technology.

-Firstly let me start off by saying that I am NOT gay. I love women. I'm kinda pissed off and annoyed at the same time that I even have to defend myself like this. In my eyes, It's not a big deal. To her, It's basically the end of the world.

-Me and my wife were laying on the couch and I saw a reel on Facebook that had me in tears laughing. It was basically a guy convulsing with his eyes wide open. The caption said "when I catch bro beating his meat, but his technique is off, so I gotta coach him". It was funny as hell to me. Me and the boys always share gay reels with e...Devamını Oku

No I'm not massive, mine is around average length but damn when I'm fully erect my penis looks so full of life so energetic just ready to penetrate it looks so ready for action I love it, I like how it feels kinda macho idk how to explain it. I kinda wish more men were proud of their Dick size insted of feeling insecure cuz of porn. As there's more to sex than just penetration alone. I hope someone replies to this how they feel the same cuz I rarely see guys that are proud of their size and feel like I'm the wierd one but whatever atleast I feel confident. Idk what this comment...Devamını Oku

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Oops! How did that happen?

Gotta start by saying we’re generally pretty freaky, but we’ve never done (or even talked about doing) anything quite like this before…

We were camping out by a lake and found a secluded little beach to post up for the day and trip. We dropped the acid as we were getting set up (one tab each of some stuff we’d had before and knew to be fairly strong). We laid out a couple towels between the lake and the trees, had a couple beers, then got naked and went skinny dipping before settling back in our spot as we started coming up.

We lay there mostly in silence at first soaking in our surr...Devamını Oku

I don’t even care anymore.

I’m not explaining a fucking thing.

I’m not spoon-feeding originality to people whose entire personality is Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V. You people wouldn’t know a thought of your own if it roundhouse-kicked you in your thread history.

Then you’ll run off to post some dead meme monologue from 2009, pretending it's the height of satire. And when someone points out it’s lazy, you scream “it’s ironic!” like that makes your dried-out internet crust suddenly fresh again.

Just fuck off.

I don’t care that you think "copypasta is culture." I don’t...Devamını Oku

Honestly I think women don't even know what horny is. Like there's no way to really experience the full male horniness experience other than transitioning with hormones etc.

I think a lot of girls think they are horny because they want to bone their partners... But they don't know the half of it.

Like guys will say shit like "I would crawl on broken glass to lick the cock of the last guy she fucked"....

THATS a level of horniness, for better or worse, women will basically never experience. It's just another world.

I mean think about like Asian massage parlours. A...Devamını Oku

Tinder fucking sucks

I know Tinder used to be for hookups and I understand that it's not easy for men to get a lot of matches but I actually get some matches and they all flake! I was talking to a girl for like 3 or 4 days and we were planning on meeting up tonight. We do the usual "good morning, how are you?" Then she just drops out of nowhere "hey I'm actually lesbian, sorry for leading you on" like wtf?! Why did you send me a picture of your titties and tell me how much you liked me if you weren't gonna follow through??

It has been a thousand years since humanity witnessed the rise of the White Comet. Legends faded into myth; your name became taboo in textbooks. But up in the void, the cum accelerates.

You, now more myth than man, drift through nebulae. Stars form and die in the wake of your sticky trail. The Andromeda galaxy files a restraining order.
But then, an accident. A rogue black hole warps your trajectory. The cum accelerates. It is pulled inward, swirling into a singularity.
Physicists on Earth detect a ripple—a sticky gravitational wave—echoing across spacetime.

You emerge on the other side,...Devamını Oku