Kategori: İngilizce Floodlar

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I went out running on the streets of Delhi in a sports bra. Never again.

Literally every uncle, aunty, and kid on the road was staring at me with their mouths agape. I am not exaggerating when I say that I saw 80-90 people literally stop and turn around to watch me. Their judgemental eyes left a crawling sensation on my skin.

Isn't Delhi supposed to be the capital of this "superpower"? Isn't Delhi supposed to be a "metropolitan" city? Is this what us Indians can do the best, seriously?

I'm seriously considering emigrating just based off this one inc...Devamını Oku

I found out a unique method of shitting that's probably destroying my rectum

Lately my belly has been feeling full of air and shit every time, and when I poop it doesn't relieve me.

Additionally, when I bidet (yes I'm from a civilized country) I do wet farts and those lead to an unshit shit, so I either have to shit in the bidet (otherwise it goes back up) or I have to stasis that shit while I move my ass back to the toilet and shit it. That's usually followed by a wet fart again (which feels kinda good ngl) and then nothing.

So then the loop continues: I put some soap on ...Devamını Oku

Its because it was too dark and gritty for GTA 5 so they removed it. It shows that GTA 4 is better because it is dark and gritty and the physics of the car take into account for this because somehow the physics in 4 are better when they are not. Did i also mention that the story is dark and gritty? Also there is so much you can do in GTA 4 there is such a vast amount of content especially when you beat the story and you can spend all your money on burger shot and not really anything else. You can also throw a rock at someone. The physics are g. Ah i forgot to mention, the most important part o...Devamını Oku

😄✈️ Goodbye for now, Canada! The working mom is officially going on vacation mode!
After countless alarms, long shifts, packed lunches, endless responsibilities, and surviving on coffee, determination, and pure mom power, it's finally time to take a break! 😅

For a while, I’m trading work schedules for vacation plans, work shoes for comfy sandals, and stress for sunshine. ☀️🏖️ Because life is not just about working hard. Even the strongest working moms need time to recharge, relax, and remember what it feels like to wake up without checking the clock every five minutes...Devamını Oku

She said shes off to pee while were watching a movie, now shes been gone 5 minutes and i knew something was up, i knocked on the door and asked if everything is ok, she said yes she'll be right out...her voice was labored and i became

suspicious...so i yelled "IM COMING IN!'

she screamed no but there was no stopping this, i smashed through the door and i see her sitting on the toilet seat, i told her to get the fuk up, she didnt so i threw her off, i looked inside the toilet...just as i suspected, a goddam log, bitch u better pray this isnt yours. i looked around and saw no net ...Devamını Oku

You begged like a dog, gutter trash. I have been approached multiple times by women both on messenger and real life asking me to be a bull (why? I don't know) and fuck them in front of their boyfriends/husband's because I am quite attractive irl.

I never thought much of it at the time. I wasn’t worried about being called a starfish because I was always very active during sex. But now I wonder whether my desire to attend to my lovers’ needs so diligently came, at least in part, from this idea that doing ‘nothing’ in bed – especially as a woman – was somehow bad. I’m almost certain it did.

So the other night, in a hotel room with my boyfriend, I did something radical. I did nothing at all.

Let me explain. He really wanted to have sex. I could feel his desire emanating off him like body heat on a hot summer’s day, but I ...Devamını Oku

So, I have a 5-ft schlong, and I’m just trying to learn how to live life with it. Tell you what, just tried to pee at a urinal, and it was such an awkward and embarrassing situation.

Obviously, just undoing the zipper is gonna be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. So the belt comes off, the button gets opened up, the zipper goes down, and then it’s time for what I call the “big reveal.”

Admittedly, it looks like someone sliced open my abdomen and my colon was hanging out in a tangled mess in my pants. I can honestly say nothing about it looks attractive. And then, you know, ...Devamını Oku

In America, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. One day, Elon Musk need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Elon Musk die! Internet very mad! I hide, change name, start over. No english, no job, no nothing. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, nice car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill Elon Musk on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!

(insert whatever message you think is funny here )

^(ⓘ This user is being monitored by INTERPOL, Europol, Ameripol, Afripol, ASEANAPOL, Central Intelligence Agency, National Security Agency, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Defense Intelligence Agency, National Reconnaissance Office, National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, Department of Homeland Security, Bureau of Intelligence and Research, Office of Naval Intelligence, Army Intelligence and Security Command, Sixteenth Air Force, Marine Corps Intelligence Activity, Coast Guard Intelligence, Office of Intelligence and Analysis, Office of I...Devamını Oku

I was hanging out at a friend's place with a few other friends and his cat showed up. Everyone started making a fuss over it, as one does, except for one friend who said he was silly and that his face looked like a "big mosquito with down syndrome". Everyone started scolding him, saying that the joke was deeply offensive. One explained that he was trying to be funny simply by mashing together two completely unrelated, edgy concepts to create shock value. But I just couldn't help to question this and think... "No! It **is** funny!" It's surrealist humor, touching...Devamını Oku

I fucking hate modern music. It sounds like ass
I only listen to The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Def Leppard, Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne, Supertramp, Kiss, Blue Oyster Cult, Kansas, Boston, Rush, Electric Light Orchestra, Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, Crimson King, Nirvana, Green Day, Queen, David Bowie, Alan Parsons Project, The Cars, The Eagles, The Police, The Who, The Guess Who, The Doors, The Smiths, The Animals, The Cure, The Clash, The Birds, The Monkeys, The Mamas and The Papas, Fleetwood Mac, Journey, Toto, Van Halen, Asia, R.E.M, Duran Duran, Phil Colins, G...Devamını Oku

^(ⓘ This user is being monitored by INTERPOL, Europol, Ameripol, Afripol, ASEANAPOL, Central Intelligence Agency, National Security Agency, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Defense Intelligence Agency, National Reconnaissance Office, National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, Department of Homeland Security, Bureau of Intelligence and Research, Office of Naval Intelligence, Army Intelligence and Security Command, Sixteenth Air Force, Marine Corps Intelligence Activity, Coast Guard Intelligence, Office of Intelligence and Analysis, Office of Intelligence and Counterintelligence, Drug Enforcemen...Devamını Oku

ⓘ This user is being monitored by INTERPOL, Europol, Ameripol, Afripol, ASEANAPOL, Central Intelligence Agency, National Security Agency, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Defense Intelligence Agency, National Reconnaissance Office, National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, Department of Homeland Security, Bureau of Intelligence and Research, Office of Naval Intelligence, Army Intelligence and Security Command, Sixteenth Air Force, Marine Corps Intelligence Activity, Coast Guard Intelligence, Office of Intelligence and Analysis, Office of Intelligence and Counterintelligence, Drug Enforcement ...Devamını Oku

You people are un-fucking-believable. Before you stands a machine ( AI ) which can literally revolutionize the entirety of the human experience: from birth to death. It will make scarcity disappear, it will give every single one of us the ability to live and work wherever we'd like, if we'd like, because work as a concept will be a thing of the past in 20-30 years. All that we need to do as a species is embrace it.

But no, instead you losers watch as a promising exploration of this technology sadly goes under, and you clap. Why? You're all sad excuses for members of the species, a...Devamını Oku

I (24F, 4,817 hours) introduced my boyfriend (25M, 6.2 hours) to my favorite game (MINE) and he has already begun exhibiting deeply concerning behavior. Yesterday he dodged an attack I usually get hit by. No warning. No checking in. Just pressed spacebar and moved out of the way like our relationship meant fucking nothing.

This has happened before. I introduced my friends to a game and they started learning mechanics I hadn’t personally authorized them to know. One of them looked up a build. Behind my back. Suddenly I’m receiving “helpful tips” in a game I’ve played since 2019 from ...Devamını Oku

👹ARGGUBUBGGUYGU WHATS UP GUYS
ALBERT FINGERNOODLE HERE 🧌 BRAHHUHUH
I FARTED 💨 IN MY GRANDAD 👴 BREATHING
MACHINE 😮‍💨AND HIS LUNGS TURNED BLACK ⚫️ AHHH
I AM CURRENTLY ON THE RUN 🏃‍♂️ FOR COMMITTING MULTIPLE FELONIES 👮‍♂️

He really thought about that question difficultly. He must’ve been in his Thinking Space II using Quanteuse Processing to reach The Golden answer. His brain was Silent Locked on composing that sentence, like an Artificial Ascent through a Penumbral haze Calibrating his neurons. His brain underwent Operation: Evolution, going in Loops of Fury trying to retrieve a memory out of Andromeda; his brain waves were firing off like Sonic Waves in a Tidal Wave of Bloodlust. The sounds of a Slaughterhouse crept into his skull, knowing he had to break through this Tartarus of a mind block. He faced a ra...Devamını Oku

Todayss My day to write the essay reminder on 8:45 AM 2026 april 26th

I'm feeling alright today so i'm going to write a plan for my essay I have on may otherwise I won't pass the bar exam next month and I will become a mediocre dirty vagrant on the streets.

List for today:

Buy milk from Costco

Feed the cat

feed yourself

Write about your day

watch a horror movie with girlfriend

Alright so in may i have to do the bar otherwise I won't become a lawyer and all this effort is for fucking nothing.

Thankfully I have strategies:

Watch tung tung sahur after all of this is don...Devamını Oku

Dear Pep,

I write this with tears rolling down my face, I do not know where to start.

It was last year, when you restaurant shut down, that I began to panic. That I begin to think, why would such a fantastic, delicious restaurant close down for no reason? The place I celebrate your birthday every year, just gone.

And now, it is in confirmed. You are about to leave the greatest dynasty in football history.

You are arguably one of the most influential humans to ever grace this planet. Not just from football, from every human to grace this planet. I would put you Top 5.

Football is one of th...Devamını Oku