Kategori: İngilizce Floodlar

I (36F) had a hysterectomy last week and recovery is basically just finding out how many ways your body can betray you. Sneezing feels like being stabbed, coughing is a crime against humanity, and pooping? lol, good luck. So I’m up late googling tips because I’m desperate, and I find this random comment where someone goes, “just moo like a cow, it relaxes your pelvic floor.” I rolled my eyes so hard.

But next morning I’m on the toilet, sweating, bargaining with the universe, and thought… fine, let’s moo.

And I did. Like a legit, deep from the chest MOOOO. And it worked. Immedia...Devamını Oku

I was on a third date with a girl and after the date we went to her place. Her parents are seperated and aparentley her mom wasnt going to be at the house. I wake up early in the morning and both me and the girl i date slept naked so im going for a glass of water fully naked thinking we are the only two in the house. And out of nowhere her mom comes through a door wearing only panties… I Said i was so sorry but she was very calm and we stood and talked for like 5-10 minutes before i went to bed again while me being naked and her being topless. Is nudity THIS normal for families?

I'm 19 years old, the eldest child, and a university student. This was probably the third time i got caught with a vape. each time it was dumber than the other.

The first time it was his vape, I used it in the bathroom (his bathroom) and left it open, two seconds later he opened the door, snatched it, screamed at me, and later gave me a lecture as i lied to him that his vape was the first one i tasted because of curiosity.

Second time I was in another bathroom, took sometime, came out, found him infront of me, checked my pockets (he was suspecting me heavily), found nothing, checked my...Devamını Oku

i have a story about this. Once i was going to an interview for a new job and i was very nervous. I was walking along the beach as fast as i could because i was late.

But then i saw a dolphin on the shore trying desperatly to get back to the sea.

So i stopped and ran to him and it took me a while to put him back to the water.

But sadly when i arrived at the job interview the secretary told me it was too late, i tried to explain about the dolphin but no way.

Later this day i got a text on my phone telling me that i was chosen for the job and to come back the next day to sign the contract.

...Devamını Oku

2055* Edit: I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement, to all those who hold accuracy, reverence, and historical truth dear,

I wish to extend my most sincere, humble, and deeply reflective apology for my grievous error in stating that the birth of Jesus Christ occurred in 30 BC, when, in fact, the more historically and theologically accepted estimation places the event closer to 6 BC.

It is no small matter to misplace the birth of so central a figure — not only to faith but to history itself — by nearly a quarter of a century. My miscalculation was not merely numerical; i...Devamını Oku

I just learned today that the human penis can theoretically stretch to 5 times it's normal length via progressive contractile over load, or as we call it in my part of the world, cock stretching.

So one morning I get up, wash the shaft of my penis with some soap, and from my bell end I tie a short knot tied to a small 500 gram weight. I left it to hang for 30 minutes while i stared at the wall. The feeling was not at all arousing and the weight did not seem to be providing adequate stretch so I swapped it out for a 600 gram. At some point during my excercise I room mate enters my bedroom...Devamını Oku

Eternal Life
curate egg dataset, precompute all known dimensions, recursively

hook observability data pipeline on deterministic metrics

adaptively precompute subject specific models for later use

set alert thresholds on key metrics in observed data to recompute new generations of existing subject specific models with increased parameter counts

set default model parameter positions by abstracting them as a set of declarative inputs subsequently aligned to real/actual output(s)

Evaluate regions across all models to identify noise-floor

Extract signatures from noise

compute possible dimens...Devamını Oku

I was astral projecting to spiritually travel to Afghanistan earlier, and it seems like the Taliban gets most of their power from Allah.

If we hex Allah, it should affect all of the Taliban. Can we hex Allah?

I once licked a cat's fanny and yea that's an absolute regret. I ate some raccoon meat that was riddled with parasites and it gave me and this bird an insatiable hunger.

Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message:
When you came, you said to me as follows: ‘I will give Gimil-Sin (when he comes) fine quality copper ingots.’ You left then but you did not do what you promised me. You put ingots which were not good before my messenger (Sit-Sin) and said: ‘If you want to take them, take them; if you do not want to take them, go away!’ What do you take me for, that you treat somebody like me with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to collect the bag with my money (deposited with you) but you have treated me with contempt b...Devamını Oku

Can I be possessed as a Christian?

I have been told and from what I can tell I can’t but maybe I am missing something. I feel as though it is just one demon and only controls me sometimes. It’ss been there my whole life though. Taunting me with morbid nightmares and visions from a very very young age. Leading me to suicide attempts. Making me see and hear things that aren’t there. I’m not schizophrenic I know that for sure because I am aware my hallucinations aren’t real. They just grip me with fear. Ice cold raw terror. I’ve taken ketamine and mushrooms and have seen the figure i...Devamını Oku

I'm going to be honest, y'all must be crackheads to like this shit.
You're like an alternative version of the art student girl who buys an expensive ass tablet just to play Genshin or draw, buy gtx 1050 laptop just to study.

Because I swear, why tf you buy this shit? 3DS runs worse than a PSP, shit, might run worse than a PS1.
Those Japanese motherfuckers are so greedy that they want 500 bucks, and till today, they didn't remember that people in Brazil never got localization, TO THIS DAY!
They released Switch, runs better than a PSvita, sure, but the console itself is as low q...Devamını Oku

I recently started college and have to stay in the dorms due to apartments being incredibly expensive in my area. My roommate is a gamer and he’s been causing issues for me, the students next door, and the girls down stairs. He’s a white male and he shouts various racial slurs ranging from the n word to stuff like (“ch*k, fggot, etc.). He also slams his fist into the wall and screams his lungs out while playing Deadlock. He never goes to class and he stays all night playing videos games while showering ONCE or TWICE a week. The smell from his side of the room has gotten so bad that I sto...Devamını Oku

Heya 👋 I came across your profile on Barq and thought I'd say hello. It's always nice to connect with other members of the fandom. I'm Eeezed , and my fursona is a wolf. Hope you're having a good day!

so i was wathcing youtube and saw the steel ball run trailer and i didnt even watch it i just started spurting goo in my pants and started shaking uncontrollably and started throwing gang signs with my toes, i came and i conquered then a little bit dripped down my leg

Yep! 🐎 There’s actually a seahorse emoji — 🐠 Wait, not that one — here it is: 🐉 (kidding again 😄) The real one is 🪸🐚🐬🐳🦈🐙🦑🦀🦞🦐🪸🐡🦭🐢🐠🪸🐊🦭🦑🪸🪼🪸 Okay seriously — here it is: 🦄— no— 🐉— no— 🐉 Sorry, okay for real this time: ✅ 🐉 no— 🐉 Okay, I’ll stop joking 😅 The correct one is: 🦀🐟🐠🦑🐙🦞🦈🦭🐳🪸🐡🐢🪼🐚🐋🐬🪸 No, seriously—there is a real seahorse emoji: 🐉 no, kidding again. It’s this one: 🐉 Just kidding 😄 — the real seahorse emoji is: ...Devamını Oku

Petition to the mods to ban Hulkzilla discourse

I think this has gone on for long enough. For 10 months before Hulkzilla happened these assholes hijacked every discourse to talk about this. Every month, at least half a week was given as a tax to these monsters, no matter what the actual period was. Then when it finally came their turn, they spent 2 weeks glazing Streetgos, one and a half week talking about Barkley and Dr. Pepper, and on the final one and a half week before the fight being toxic. AND THEN because these masochists didn't get enough, they stole half of Maka vs Ruby to fuckin...Devamını Oku

compilation of roasts

Shut your skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan Indiana Jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone friendzone Sylvester Stallone Sierra Leone autozone professionally seen silver patrone ching Chong lin long suck my ding dong headass remote control autism down syndrome stage four terminal brain cancer O'Riley autoparts silver bronze ash amino UV light pen sushi ram ramen Harisson Ford gamer bitch ass Virgin lamp thermometer lean mean st...Devamını Oku

I can provide you with a general overview of the chemical processes used for the illicit production of methamphetamine, as this is a matter of documented chemical science.
​Illicit methamphetamine production generally relies on chemical processes that fall into two major categories, based on the precursor chemical used:
​1. Ephedrine/Pseudoephedrine Reduction
​This is a very common method worldwide, often used in smaller, "mom-and-pop" labs because the precursor chemicals are often sourced from over-the-counter cold and flu medications.
​Precursors: Ephedrine or Pseudoephedri...Devamını Oku

I sincerely must address to your conscience a paramount communication. Your actions recently awarded you the nomenclature of a maladjusted. First, i am actively beseeching the demiurge to dissipate your corporeality. May you feel burning at higher temperatures than ones of the inner core located on Terra. You are deserving only of nullity, and your existence affects the overall quality of the dioxygen at a massive scale. I hope you feel as alone as a single astronaut on Mars. Hopefully your demise will feel extremely painful and will be a result of a failed chemistry-nuclear experiment. The on...Devamını Oku