Kategori: İngilizce Floodlar

🤏 the virgin vulva

• pees from one hole, bleeds from another, orgasms from a third

• requires a flowchart and at least two mirrors just to locate anything

• overengineered like a victorian clock but with worse instructions

• external stimulation needed like it’s a usb device from 1998

• discharge just… happens??

• “self-cleaning” but somehow still needs a backup team of wipes, sprays, and prayers

• orgasm is elusive and often outsourced to electronics

• zero interface standardization

• discharge types read like an rpg loot drop

• squirting = rare event ...Devamını Oku

I was just minding my business doing groceries as this high tier becky strolls in with her baby in tow. The toddler screams and screams and keeps screaming; I usually don't mind children but when they're loud as fuck and the parents do nothing it's annoying. So in passing I take a glance at the little shitlet and course it's a Chad. Blond, blue-eyed, straight hairline, hunter eyes, slim cheeks, pronounced jaw. No sign of the normal puffy cheeks, giant forehead and bug eyes you usually see in babies. In short, an Aryan Gigachad in the making :feelsree::feelsree::feelsree:

In th...Devamını Oku

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true econo...Devamını Oku

EvRey Tiam I go On r/COpypAsta I HopE to EAD some FunNy CoaPYPAstaTS And EvRy TIeM I gO theRE the SheEr MAount of NSFww cOPaypatsAs therE ISb InasANE! EvrEything therE is ABouT GoONugn, BAolls, And ObtheR groSs tsuff! As A ESX REPUElsED PersoNe Me Not Liek DE NSFW CopyPastaAs That Are ALL OVEr THISW SUBBB!!! Be CziviL and No Moer GRoS NFSw COPeyPatsats! 1!!!

Any male who is just hanging around in public spaces in 2025 automatically doesn't care about women or else they'd be at home instead.

If women are present in a public space, men should avoid being in that space because it could make some women uncomfortable and afraid. Women have a right to exist in public without feeling unsafe.

I acknowledge it's impossible to never exist in public, but I also understand that women are harmed by my presence.

Many women are uncomfortable around men. Because of the patriarchy, men have more social power and therefore responsibility. Caring abo...Devamını Oku

I was watching Space Jam and started furiously masturbating to Lola Bunny when she got on screen. The scene kept switching to other characters, so I edged when she was off screen. Anyways she got on screen again so I decided to blow my load, but then my parents bust in without knocking, and saw me strokin my shit, while Michael Jordan was on screen.

I mean, accidentally gooning while he was on screen made me realize something. I am gay for Michael Jordan?! The goat?! So ever since then, every year, as a tradition, I would goon to Michael Jordan. I am so gay for him. Even to this day. Once I w...Devamını Oku

what the... !?
HOW THE WHAT THE MAMA WHAT THE HECK THE WOH MAMMA WOAH MAMMA MA WHAT'S WOAH MAMA MIA WHAT'S WHAT'S WHAT THE MAMA MIA WHAT'S WOH MAMA MIA MAMA MIA WOAH HECK WHAT THE MAMA HEY HECK HECK WHOA WOH WOAH MAMMA MIA MAMA MIA HECK HECK MAMA MIA MAMA WHAT'S MAMA MAMMA HEY MAMMA MAMMA MAMA MIA MAMA MIA HECK MA MA WOH MAMA MIA WHAT'S WHAT THE MAMMA HECK MAMMA MAMMA MA WOH WHAT'S MAMMA WHAT'S MAMMA MA HEY WOAH MA HECK MA HEY WHAT THE WHAT THE WOAH HEY WOAH MAMMA HOW THE WHAT THE MAMA WHAT THE HECK THE WOAH WHAT THE MA WHOA WHAT'S WHOA WOH HEY WOH MAMA MIA ...Devamını Oku

I've always been a little scared to ask this of my friends, but that's what this subreddit is for. Warning, this might be a little graphic.

When you guys are taking a dump, and you're squeezing it out. There's that moment sometimes when it's a bigger one that you feel it lightly scraping along your sack. So after you're done wiping your ass, do you grab your sack and pull it tight and then wipe? Or should I be doing something different?

It’s okay to be a little horny sometimes. That’s just being human. But “gooners”? They turned being horny into a full-time religion. These people edge for hours, worshiping AI-generated feet pics like they’re a statue of Buddha.

And the kinks? My guy—cannibalism? Helium inflation?? Are y’all even trying to stay on Earth anymore? DeviantArt is less an art site and more a CIA watchlist at this point.

Then there’s the “no limits” crowd. The ones who post, “Send me the grossest stuff you got. I don’t care if it’s legal or not. I’ll edge to it.” Bro. Do you know what...Devamını Oku

Bro imagine a weed smoking sesh with the three Pokemon starters... grab some sticky bud freshly plucked from bulbasaur - yo thanks my brotha. Roll up a fat af blunt - ey yo charmander can I get a light? He lights it up with his tail (so sick) puff puff ey thanks little homie. Then absolutely fucking the shit out of Squirtle

Ever since I was a little kid I enjoyed watching My Little Pony, theres just something about the show that makes it so appealing to me.

My Favorite has always been rainbow dash, and after years of binging and watching all sorts of content related to my little pony, I started tickling my pickle to her, nobody got me nearly as aroused and everytime rainbow dash was on screen my snake would stand meters tall.

One day I thought I was home alone and decided that jerking off wasnt enough to stress off, so I grabbed my rainbow dash plushie and started rubbing my sword inbetween its legs. It was the...Devamını Oku

I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE

IT HAPENED AGAIN!!!!

I WENT OT OF MY WAY TO PRE DOWNLOAD THE VERSION, SO I CAN PULL SQUIRT EARLY IN THE MORNING AND PLAY THE VERSION, BUT OF COURSE, MY BITCH PUTER HAD OTHER PLANS!

IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF MY FUCKING PUTER, HE NEVER FUCKING WORKSSSSS!!!!!

EVERYTIME I TRY PLAYING GENSHIN, THE FRAME RATE GOES DOWN SO MUCH, IT GIVES BLUE LOCK SEASON TWO A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY!

THE IMAGE QUALITY GETS SO BAD THAT EVERYTIME I TRY USING A CHARACHTER SKILL, THE GAME STOPS AND THEN CUTS TWO FUCKING PIXELS ON SCREEN OF SOLID COLORS GIVING ME A FLASH BANG THAT MAKES HIROS...Devamını Oku

you give off chill troll vibes like you lowkey like to RDM but you read the rules and got impulse control so you would never RDM if you know what i mean. im a troll too and it makes me happy when i see you playing cuz it feels like i can play on this server too. good on you bro thank you so much

The fog is coming, t-the fog! no..~ i-it’s- mh..it’s coming! n-not inside! ou-out! p-please…A-Ah~! it-..s co-oominggg~! mmmh!- yes! yes! ahhh~!

I've just started Mathematics.

Some questions are very arousing but they aren't questions with my favorite topic, but with a topic I don't prefer. And since I can shoot it only once a day (no judgment, please) I feel like I have to sit through these arousing yet undesirable questions without climaxing. If I blow my load during a secondary topic's problem, and then my favorite topic shows up after 20 minutes, it feels like the session is effectively wasted.

Here is my current protocol:

Questions with any other topics: Passive observation, no touch.
2D geometry questions: Slo...Devamını Oku

Okay so i'm white and I got tickets to the chromokopia tour. I'm not racist in any way, have never called anyone the n word yk never been racist to anyone. But as we know in legit every song on the Chromokopia album has the n word in it as like half the lyrics. At the concert I obviously wanna jam out sing my heart out without a care in the world, is it okay to sing the n word at Tyler's concert if your white since your not directing it at anyone or using it to be racist? Has Tyler ever said anything bc I know some artists do care and some don't like they'll even make an an...Devamını Oku

ok bestie, so I got in my Kia soul and played my favorite song (anxiety by Doechi) and I grabbed my Starbucks Dubai chocolate matcha lavender latte, when my secret labubu fell and hit the concrete at the crumble cookies parking lot. i lowkey panicked but I remember I have my 204 Sonny angels in my glovebox ready to cheer me up. so to end the day in a good mood i just went to the K-pop store and buy the Gnarly album at my local BDSM LGBTQTOAIURLHTTPS+ merch area behind K-Mart (and then a blue haired pierced fat trans bisexual lesbian attack helicopter barista retail worker commiserated about st...Devamını Oku

So the biggest difference between, like, a microwave like this one, and then an air fryer is like, if you put a hamster in a microwave, it will explode, but when, if you put it in the air fryer, and that's like the big difference, it sort of just like, it like, it doesn't explode, it like, just like, sort of like fucking crumples into like a big piece of just like charred fucking shit... and it, uh... I'm sorry, what was your question?

I love when people see cute girl and think "sex object" and then point fingers and claim gooner as if it makes them a better person, not realizing their own hypocrisy. Personally, I just like pretty things, and femme boss designs and waifus are pleasant to look at. A fun mod that might get my partner to be slightly more interested in playing the game with me xD

Not like I'm one to judge, I love drawing pretty ladies. I get paid to do it on the regular, lmao.

Thanks for the mod, I'm sure it was hard to get them to work properly. No shame in 'degeneracy' from me.

I love the smell of piss on the street in summer

That hot pee smell in summer, those faint traces of cigarette smoke lingering in the air. It reminds me of my vacations in Rome and Paris and Madrid long ago. It’s a very nostalgic scent. It’s comforting and soothing. It’s one of my favorite scents.