Kategori: İngilizce Floodlar

My 13 year old daughter has been recently taking cucumbers out of the refrigerator and into her bedroom, and then returning them to the fridge later on, and the oddest thing is that they are all wrinkled and squished after they are returned. I asked her once what she was doing and she said that she was going to eat it and then decided she didn't want it anymore and when I asked why it was squished she said she didn't know. The next day I made my famous cucumber salad and my husband said it tasted different this time, personally I thought it tasted like chemicals or lotion or something ...Devamını Oku

Sometimes ill pinch my foreskin shut when Im peeing and release a charge-attack. Ive always called them piss missiles!

why do furries draw the pussy so strong. so the cat is in leggings but i can see the butthole wrinkles and the labia folds? if leggings clung to me like that it would hurt. gripping on the sphincter and shit. get real

oh poor baby 🥹🥹 do you need the robot to make you pictures? 🥹🥹 yeah 🥹🥹 do you need the bo-bot to write you essay too? yeah ??? you can't do it? you're a moron?? do you need chatgpt to fuck your wife ?? 🥹🥹

You know when I left the house today I was thinking "Damn, I really hope some hot chick paints my brains all over some fucking hallway." And here we are. I mean really, just absolutely destroy me. I'm talkin' full on, watermelon-in-the-thighs level carnage. And I want it to scare the shit outta me. I mean I hope I piss myself. I hope I piss myself and you call me your little "peepee pisspiss boy." I want you to fuck me up. I mean I want you to make me your bitch. Your little peepee-piss-myself-bitch. I want it to get embarrasing. I mean like...weirdly embarrassing. ...Devamını Oku

Why is it that on Facebook, pictures of anime girls in lingerie always have such exaggerated tits? I mean, a rack can be a lovely thing to admire on a young woman, but they all look like they're competing with Dolly Parton (or the Japanese equivalent thereof). The bras are often too small as well. Tiny little things. And besides that, most of the action happens between the legs, not up top. Personally speaking, I'm not the kind of person to be playing with a woman's breasts when making love. I respect the woman too much. The upper body should be focused on making the woman feel car...Devamını Oku

AUCK BUCK CUCK DUCK EUCK FUCK GUCK

HUCK IUCK JUCK KUCK LUCK MUCK NUCK OUCK PUCK

QUCK RUCK SUCK TUCK UUCK VUCK

WUCK XUCK YUCK ZUCK

0UCK 1UCK 2UCK 3UCK 4UCK 5UCK 6UCK 7UCK 8UCK 9UCK 10UCK

Naked bodies and porn on OnlyFans? Totally fine. But a Fleshlight in the mountains? Now I’m the freak!?

OnlyFans is overflowing with tits, dicks, holes, spit, squirt, people milking each and society claps. "It’s empowerment!", "It is valid sex work!" "finger yourself for feminism!"

Fine. I support it. I even consume it. I don’t complain about it.

But the moment I make a post on Reddit asking for advice on how to start a Onlyfans page for my Fleshlight, Creampuff, THEN the room turns cold. Then IM the crazy one? Really?

I am not even talking about beeing ...Devamını Oku

idk if this is weird but i had this dream where i was

courtside and lebron james walked past me after the
game, all sweaty and exhausted. he sat down right in
front of me, took off his shoes and socks, and man... i
don't even know what came over me. his feet were

glistening, like actually wet with sweat, and i just
wanted them. like deep down in my chest. i got on all
fours and started sucking his toes like it was the most
natural thing in the world. salty, sour, powerful. Even the arena was shock
,i could
taste the whole fourth quarter. i woke up gasping and
honestly kinda mad it wasn&#...Devamını Oku

I need to get this off my chest before I lose what’s left of my sanity. I have actual sxual desires for LeBron James. Like, not just a normal crush — I’m talking full-on, fantasies where I’m literally msturbating while watching his highlights. And I’m not even ashamed anymore.

I remember whispering, “King James, king james”while fingering my self .i have so much I mean SO MUCH POSTER OF HIM IN MY ROOM , Friends tell me to get help, but honestly, who do you call when your biggest sexual frustration is a six-foot-nine basketball god you’ll never meet?

At this point, I think my...Devamını Oku

So i was playing doom eternal as i do every day for 6 years of my life and i was watching a cutscene.. But i felt an erection coming on so i was about to bust in my dorito packet but i soon realised why i was so HARD.. The doom slayer is so THICC his ass is HUGE hes got CHILD BEARING HIPS and then i SPLOOGED all over my screen.. I am now searching for pictures of the doom slayer in maid outfits for it is the only thing i can truly get off to...

It's not gay right???

I have been wearing condom to bed because of a recurring wet dream. When I wake up, I am surrounded by what I thought was pork fried rice. After seeing this post I now know it was the disintegrating rubber from the condoms that are 15 years old. I was too embarrassed to ask anyone and thought there was a Chinese jizz fairy who came at night and made an even trade. Not really, but it is what it is told myself as not to worry about it beyond breakfast.

when I was 13 I went to go visit my best friend, we played grand theft auto 4 on the play station 3. after a couple of hours I went to the strip club. a woman told me to follow her to the back so I did and she started strip teasing. my best friend at the time pulled his pants down and told me "lets help each other out". so I started tickling his pickle and he did it to mine. we were both watching the woman on the screen dance with her boobies out. during that time I would close my eyes and imagine it was my school crush pleasuring me. We would do this every time I went to his house a...Devamını Oku

Every time I ragebait, there's something in my body that just... throbs. Like a hate boner. Ooh, I love it so much. Like when I ragebaited a Kendrick fan, and I told him Kanye was better, he just... ooh he was MAD. And that got me hard. Like, straight bricked. I couldn't even look at bro anymore since my schlong was practically throbbing against my pants. I went to the bathroom later and... I came! A fat load, sitting in my underwear, from that ragebait. And that's why, to this day, gentlemen of Preddit, I absolutely love ragebaiting the shit out of every fuckass moderator on this ...Devamını Oku

She divorced my dad when I was 12 and around the same time I first started watching porn. My favorite categories have always been "MILF" and "Interracial" and I just now made the connection:

After her divorce my mother started dressing like a genuine porn milf and she also started hooking up with (a lot of) black guys. Like she would bring them home and I could often hear them having sex from my room.

I feel like there is a connection between all this and my PMO.

This is something I've wondered about for a while. Us guys feel like we should try to "save it up" to shoot it. While it may be more pleasurable for us, I don't know how it is to a woman

I am so fucking horny. I haven't touched my penis in AGES! I HAVEN'T SEEN A SINGLE FUCKING SKIN TISSUE OF A TIT OR AN ASS FOR SO FUCKING LONG! I HAVE BEEN HOLDING IT IN FOR SO LONG! BUT NOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO FINALLY FUCKING JACK OFF! MY CUM LOOKS AS WHITE AND AS SOLID AS MORE THAN THE FUCKING COLOUR WHITE! MY BALLS ARE GOING TO EXPLODE WITH HOW MUCH CUM THEY ARE HOLDING RIGHT NOW! I NEED TO FUCKING CUM THIS INSTANT! I AM GOING TO FINALLY FUCKING JORK IT AFTER THIS MANY YEARS!!! STAND READY FOR MY ARRIVAL PORN SITES! BECAUSE I AM COMING! BOTH INSIDE AND OUTSIDE YOUR ASSES!!!!

…You really posted this—thinking it was clever?
A quote slapped on the side of a fetishized drawing, pretending to be philosophical while dripping with irony you can’t even detect.

‘A fool shares his problems. A wise man shares cat pictures’?
No.
A true fool shares diluted quotes next to anime girls wearing cat ears, trying to sound wise while parading their loneliness like it's art.

And don’t invoke ‘Rumi’—a real philosopher—while you're simping over fictional ears and fabric. If Rumi saw this, he'd rewrite existence just to delete you first.

Now ask yoursel...Devamını Oku

So about 1-3 months ago, after an hour of going through the darker side of this fandom, for some reason I imagined what frisk and chara would look like When they are 18 years old, and ever since then, i have had a crush on the 18 year old frisk and chara i created in my head (or at least i think i do, i honestly don't know what having a crush feels like). My question is should I feel ashamed that I am weird for that or is it better than the rest of the fandom? Because even though they are 18 (it's literally the first piece of information in my dreams) I feel way too much guilt when eve...Devamını Oku

I have no copypasta for this. That is it. I am not going to waste my time typing out a 5 paragraph essay on why the person who made this does not deserve to exist or how this post will end reality as we know it, I am simply speechless. You have truly done it. Bravo. Clap clap.