My friend complaining about linux

using linux is like trying to figure out why your car won't start but you have to fix it and figure it out by yourself but all the mechanics you try to talk to only speak french and if you don't understand they just laugh at you and start jerking each other off in their ricer bmws and then you realize that even though all the parts are being given away for free none of them actually work without like ten other parts and like five different tools but all of your tools have been replaced with little machines that also stop working randomly and you have to read a whole instruction manual for each tool but the instructions are all written in like german and even when you eventually get everything working and you go to give it a test drive you get a flat tire and it runs out of gas and the whole car explodes and the stupid, french mechanics laugh at you and jerk off even more and they all hold up flags with their car's brand logo and they cum all over the place and all you ever wanted to do was drive to your friend's house but it doesn't matter because his car just works and you're stuck with a stupid complicated car that's like 10% more fuel efficient but only if you mix mechanic cum in with the gas