I CUT MY FUCKING ASSHOLE OPEN SHAVING IT
I CUT MY FUCKING ASSHOLE OPEN SHAVING IT BECAUSE I WANTED A NICE, PRETTY, PRESENTABLE HOLE. I'M NOT TALKING LIKE A LITTLE BABY PAPERCUT BUT LIKE, DEEP, HEMORRHAGING SQUIRTING GASH AND NOW 10 HOURS LATER I AM LAYING IN BED WITH THE MOST UNIMAGINABLE THROBBING PAIN YOU CAN IMAGINE EMANATING FROM MY BOYPUCCI LIPS EVERY TIME I GIVE IT A LIL SQUEEZE BUT I NEED TO TAKE A MEGA SHIT NOW AND THIS IS LITERALLY WORSE THAN CHILDBIRTH HELP ME PLEASE
Etiketler:
Benzer İçerikler
You don't know cricket? Don't worry, I will teach ...
There are 11 players on each team, one team bats and the other team fields. There are two referees, called umpires. One umpire tosses a coin, and the two teams' captains decide heads or tails. Who...
I lost to my poop.
So I know how this sounds, but it was out of my control; the perfect mix of events, urges, and luck happened, resulting in my unfortunate loss. I had just gotten home from school after a very stressf...
Miami canal killer confession
I feel like this is a safe place to confess. She’s somewhere in the Miami canal. I don’t get too close, but sometimes I drive slowly on the highway just to see if everything still looks… the sam...
My brother cheated on me.
I know it sounds bad but love just happens. Love will happen wherever it can happen, like murphy said or something. The worst part, the woman he cheated on me with was no other than our mother. A mot...
Enough text walls!
The Negative Marginal Utility of Text Walls By A. Random Economist, Ph.D. In economic theory, marginal utility refers to the additional satisfaction a consumer derives from consuming one more unit...
I saw Steven Seagal at a Walmart in Las Vegas yesterday.
I saw Steven Seagal at a Walmart in Las Vegas yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He sai...
There's a non 0 chance you'd find rotten zombie di...
Considering their ears and noses fall off in time from rotting, Anything not to held together with bone would be at risk of falling off. Add that to a southern trend of free balling, and you've go...
I was caught stimfapping
For context, im 30 years old and live with my parents I was jacking it in my room late at night (on crack) and suddenly I needed to shit really bad, so I tried to stajd up but I shifted myself and i...
Plans for December 1st (day 24)
Man when NNN is over, I’m gonna do so many crazy things to my gigantic red rocket. Firstly I’m gonna make sure to eat lots of pineapple the day before December 1st. Then once December 1st hits, I...
Penis Inspection Day
it was penis inspection day, i was nervous. the nurse walked in—big tiddies, hips wider than my future, and a clipboard she kept tapping like she already knew i was doomed. "drop em," she...
8 Yorum
Yorum Yaz Yanıtı iptal et
Yorum yapabilmek için oturum açmalısınız.
Wax dont shave lol
oh my god if this isn’t fake that sounds absolutely horrible wtf
Who shaves their ass? I never shave it so I can dilute my shit into water.
Ong this is the WORST!! Been there, done that. A few days ago. Not as bad I’m sure, but a nice little nic when I was cleaning up the bits and it bled and burned when I had to shit 😣
GL and god speed on healing ❤️🩹
I dont wanna know this
Nice pasta, god…
were they shaving with a sword?
People grow ass hair?