Kategori: İngilizce Floodlar

It started a while ago. I was a normal redditor making posts and comments, but then one day, a post of mine was manually deleted, and I was banned from my favorite subreddit. I then got extremely aroused. That moderator asserted dominance on me by censoring me, making me unable to express myself. I was soaking wet. I sent the hot sexy mod a message asking why I was banned, then the hot sexy reddit incel mod called me an idiot, and told me to beg to get unbanned. My nipples immediately filled with blood as I begged the hot mod to unban me. After that, I started doing everything I could to make ...Devamını Oku

I just need to release this into the void. My boss has the most perfect bald head I’ve ever seen. Like not just bald… divinely bald. Smooth. Shiny. Shaped like it was sculpted by horny angels. Some days I wanna slap it. Other days I wanna lick it. Hormones decide.

Anyway. Last Thursday, during peak ovulation, I was sitting behind him and his bald head was RIGHT there. So I did what any mentally unstable woman would do: I reached out and touched it. Just a soft, slightly lingering touch. Like a blessing. Like I was grounding myself to the earth via l contact.

He turned around and I panick...Devamını Oku

yo with all due respect why is this subreddit full of nerds(not everyone tho)

plz read until the end...if ur lost this may help u figure things out....

nah but fr doe with all due respect why are ppl on this sub such nerds 💀 like no hate but some of y’all need to seriously get a life. bro gets a 1500 and says “should i retake 🥺” like sybau respectfully. some ngas get a 1550 and still cryin they didn’t hit a 1600. bro… and i see a nga saying i took the SAT one more time "for fun". NIGGA WHAT FUN go outside. touch grass. ride a bike. go to the gym. pick up a hobby. ta...Devamını Oku

Translated:
"bombardiro crocodilo. a fucking flying alligator that flies and bombs children in gaza and palestine. he doesn't believe in God and he LOVES bombs, he feeds on your mother's spirit. and you are You translated all that then. 6 1 asshole. don't break the joke prostitute.”

Original:
“bombardiro crocodilo. un fottuto alligatore volante che vola e bombarda i bambini a gaza e in palestina. non crede in dio e AMA le bombe, si nutro dello spirito di tua madre. e sei Hai tradotto tutto questo, allora. 6 1 stronzo. non rompere la battuta prostituta.”

I remember I was going back home after traveling for 1 week to another state, when I got back home my parents left the home to go to the market and they said they would take 1 hour to go back, so I took advantage of this and I went to my femboys playlist and started playing videos of femboys doing TikTok dances, and then I started gooning to them bc I like gooning but my parents went back after only 30 minutes, not 1 hour.

So I immediately closed it on my PC but I hit the wrong button so I accidentally clicked on another video of a femboy with clothes that my parents find inappropriate danci...Devamını Oku

I arrived at the meeting spot, of course, 20 minutes early, wearing my Hoka and compression socks, post light warm-up, resting heart rate 42. She showed up 5 minutes late, wearing H&M leggings and some casual walking shoes from a REI.

I suggested a classic 12 km training loop at conversational pace (4:40/km), but she said she doesn’t “run that much” and just wanted to do a couple of laps around the park. Alright, I thought, let her have it.

We started easy. My watch showed 6:30/km pace, heart rate in Zone 1, basically active recovery. After 500 meters, she said she needed to walk b...Devamını Oku

Nazis can't handle the fact that people are allowed to disagree with them. If they had their way, free speech laws would be out the window just like in Nazi Germany. Guess what, Nazis? You don't scare me. You claim to be in favor of free speech, but really, you just want to say hateful shit without anyone calling you out. Go jerk it to Hitler and leave those of us with brains alone.

Sperm is just a fertilizer with half of DNA genius, you were never a sperm in your dad's balls.

Also sperm is produced constantly and dies after few days but a woman is born with all her eggs, you were an unfertilized EGG cell in your mother's ovaries since she was born.

I wonder why people ALWAYS try to pretend we came from a sperm entirely and ignore the egg even though we are mostly the EGG

So first of all, forewarning, this post contains NSFW topics related to masterbaition and other things.

Anyway, bloody hell my day has been horrible. I was at my grandparents house since my mom spent the night at a casino. I woke up to my grandparents yelling at me to get up. I had some morning wood (as usual) so I asked them to leave my room so I could get ready, which they both said no to. I then demanded they leave my room since I needed to do "something" and they threatened to tell my mom I've been misbehaving (and she will literally deprive me of food if she gets one ...Devamını Oku

🤏 the virgin vulva

• pees from one hole, bleeds from another, orgasms from a third

• requires a flowchart and at least two mirrors just to locate anything

• overengineered like a victorian clock but with worse instructions

• external stimulation needed like it’s a usb device from 1998

• discharge just… happens??

• “self-cleaning” but somehow still needs a backup team of wipes, sprays, and prayers

• orgasm is elusive and often outsourced to electronics

• zero interface standardization

• discharge types read like an rpg loot drop

• squirting = rare event ...Devamını Oku

I was just minding my business doing groceries as this high tier becky strolls in with her baby in tow. The toddler screams and screams and keeps screaming; I usually don't mind children but when they're loud as fuck and the parents do nothing it's annoying. So in passing I take a glance at the little shitlet and course it's a Chad. Blond, blue-eyed, straight hairline, hunter eyes, slim cheeks, pronounced jaw. No sign of the normal puffy cheeks, giant forehead and bug eyes you usually see in babies. In short, an Aryan Gigachad in the making :feelsree::feelsree::feelsree:

In th...Devamını Oku

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true econo...Devamını Oku

EvRey Tiam I go On r/COpypAsta I HopE to EAD some FunNy CoaPYPAstaTS And EvRy TIeM I gO theRE the SheEr MAount of NSFww cOPaypatsAs therE ISb InasANE! EvrEything therE is ABouT GoONugn, BAolls, And ObtheR groSs tsuff! As A ESX REPUElsED PersoNe Me Not Liek DE NSFW CopyPastaAs That Are ALL OVEr THISW SUBBB!!! Be CziviL and No Moer GRoS NFSw COPeyPatsats! 1!!!

Any male who is just hanging around in public spaces in 2025 automatically doesn't care about women or else they'd be at home instead.

If women are present in a public space, men should avoid being in that space because it could make some women uncomfortable and afraid. Women have a right to exist in public without feeling unsafe.

I acknowledge it's impossible to never exist in public, but I also understand that women are harmed by my presence.

Many women are uncomfortable around men. Because of the patriarchy, men have more social power and therefore responsibility. Caring abo...Devamını Oku

I was watching Space Jam and started furiously masturbating to Lola Bunny when she got on screen. The scene kept switching to other characters, so I edged when she was off screen. Anyways she got on screen again so I decided to blow my load, but then my parents bust in without knocking, and saw me strokin my shit, while Michael Jordan was on screen.

I mean, accidentally gooning while he was on screen made me realize something. I am gay for Michael Jordan?! The goat?! So ever since then, every year, as a tradition, I would goon to Michael Jordan. I am so gay for him. Even to this day. Once I w...Devamını Oku

what the... !?
HOW THE WHAT THE MAMA WHAT THE HECK THE WOH MAMMA WOAH MAMMA MA WHAT'S WOAH MAMA MIA WHAT'S WHAT'S WHAT THE MAMA MIA WHAT'S WOH MAMA MIA MAMA MIA WOAH HECK WHAT THE MAMA HEY HECK HECK WHOA WOH WOAH MAMMA MIA MAMA MIA HECK HECK MAMA MIA MAMA WHAT'S MAMA MAMMA HEY MAMMA MAMMA MAMA MIA MAMA MIA HECK MA MA WOH MAMA MIA WHAT'S WHAT THE MAMMA HECK MAMMA MAMMA MA WOH WHAT'S MAMMA WHAT'S MAMMA MA HEY WOAH MA HECK MA HEY WHAT THE WHAT THE WOAH HEY WOAH MAMMA HOW THE WHAT THE MAMA WHAT THE HECK THE WOAH WHAT THE MA WHOA WHAT'S WHOA WOH HEY WOH MAMA MIA ...Devamını Oku

I've always been a little scared to ask this of my friends, but that's what this subreddit is for. Warning, this might be a little graphic.

When you guys are taking a dump, and you're squeezing it out. There's that moment sometimes when it's a bigger one that you feel it lightly scraping along your sack. So after you're done wiping your ass, do you grab your sack and pull it tight and then wipe? Or should I be doing something different?

It’s okay to be a little horny sometimes. That’s just being human. But “gooners”? They turned being horny into a full-time religion. These people edge for hours, worshiping AI-generated feet pics like they’re a statue of Buddha.

And the kinks? My guy—cannibalism? Helium inflation?? Are y’all even trying to stay on Earth anymore? DeviantArt is less an art site and more a CIA watchlist at this point.

Then there’s the “no limits” crowd. The ones who post, “Send me the grossest stuff you got. I don’t care if it’s legal or not. I’ll edge to it.” Bro. Do you know what...Devamını Oku

Bro imagine a weed smoking sesh with the three Pokemon starters... grab some sticky bud freshly plucked from bulbasaur - yo thanks my brotha. Roll up a fat af blunt - ey yo charmander can I get a light? He lights it up with his tail (so sick) puff puff ey thanks little homie. Then absolutely fucking the shit out of Squirtle

Ever since I was a little kid I enjoyed watching My Little Pony, theres just something about the show that makes it so appealing to me.

My Favorite has always been rainbow dash, and after years of binging and watching all sorts of content related to my little pony, I started tickling my pickle to her, nobody got me nearly as aroused and everytime rainbow dash was on screen my snake would stand meters tall.

One day I thought I was home alone and decided that jerking off wasnt enough to stress off, so I grabbed my rainbow dash plushie and started rubbing my sword inbetween its legs. It was the...Devamını Oku