Nisan 8, 2026
23, diploma yok, istikrarlı bir iş yok, tamamen kaybolmuş hissediyorsun – benim yaşımda ne yapıyordun?
23M yaşındayım ve kendimi hayatta sıkışmış gibi hissediyorum.
Diplomam yok. Yaklaşık 2-3 yıl üniversiteye gittim ama bana göre olmadığı için okulu bıraktım. Ondan sonra internette serbest çalışan olarak çalıştım (grafik tasarım, video düzenleme, içerik işleri), biraz para kazandım ama bu uzun sürmedi ve şimdi neredeyse sıfıra döndüm.
5 dil konuşuyorum, becerilerim olduğunu biliyorum ama elimde sabit veya resmi bir şey yok. Şu anda gerçek bir iş yok.
Kendimi başkalarıyla karşılaştırmaya çalışmıyorum ama benim yaşımdaki pek çok insanın en azından biraz istikrarlı olduğunu veya ilerlediğini fark etmemek zor ve ben sadece… kaybolmuş gibi hissediyorum.
Mental olarak da en iyi yerde değilim. Tam olarak depresyonda değilim ama aşırı düşünmekten, kaygıdan dolayı kendimi bir nevi izole ettim. Artık insanlarla çok az tanışıyorum. Eski arkadaşlar ya çalışıyorlar, ya meşguller ya da yurt dışındalar ve ben de öylece uzaklaştım. Bazıları muhtemelen ortadan kaybolduğumu düşünüyor.
Benim de yurt dışına gidip eğitim alma planlarım vardı ama farklı nedenlerden dolayı olmadı. O zamandan beri burada takılıp kaldım, bazı şeyleri çözmeye çalışıyorum ama aslında hiçbir yere varamıyorum.
İşin kötüsü artık şeylerden eskisi kadar keyif alamıyorum. Hobilerim, ilgi alanlarım vardı ama artık hiçbir şey eskisi gibi olmuyormuş gibi geliyor çünkü hiçbir şey inşa ediyormuşum gibi hissetmiyorum.
Yakın zamanda bir terapiste görünmeyi planlıyorum o yüzden işin bu tarafını da göz ardı etmiyorum.
Aslında motivasyon ya da “bunu aldın” tarzı yorumlar aramıyorum. Gerçekten şunu bilmek isterim:
• 23 yaşında ne yapıyordunuz?
• Başka kimse bunun kaybolduğunu hissetti mi?
• Bu aşamadan çıkmanıza gerçekte ne yardımcı oldu (sadece zihinsel olarak değil, pratik olarak)?
• Benim konumumda olsaydınız ne yapardınız?
Benzer şeyleri yaşamış insanlardan gerçek tavsiyeler istiyorum.
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Have you thought about relocating?
If I spoke other languages I’d consider applying to university in another country. Or consider teaching English or working in tourism/hospitality.
Hahaha I just paroled at 22 got my clothes out of donation bins, took a charter bus over 40 miles for work at $9.50 per hour, so 23 was still at the halfway house. Now I have my own business and hold the states contract to provide behavioral health services within the adolescent correctional and parole system. Take it breath, make a plan, be consistent, change is not a parting of the Red Sea, it is little things done consistently over long periods of time then one day you wake up, look around, and think Damn I’ve changed!
No need for a degree these days unless you 100% have a career in mind you want. I’ve always had a stable job but never anything more until later in life. Check out a job agency for factory jobs, they aren’t all dirty and dangerous like people make them out to be. A lot of factories like to hire within and have employees who started at the bottom. Speaking multiple languages would be beneficial that type of setting also, especially getting into HR.
I got 11 years on you and I feel like this right now. One thing I made sure over the course of my life is to always have a job. The only time you shouldn’t is if you are financially independent, or you’re studying something intense that needs full time attention.
Apply to anything entry level or part time. It’s going to suck, but you need to keep busy. Do that and figure out a long term goal. The reason you feel lost right now is because you have nothing to work towards, so every day will feel the same unless you give yourself some direction and through that, clarity.
Working will help you figure out what you like and don’t like. Think about a job you would like in the future and work backwards from there regarding what credentials you’ll need for it. If it requires university, then you need to do that. If not, you can work towards it through certifications and experience.
Do your best to surround yourself with good people. Don’t isolate yourself when you feel like this, it will make it worse. Also, coming from somebody that compares himself to everybody else, don’t do that. Be kind to yourself and respect yourself, everybody in this life is on their own path. Thinking about things all day does absolutely nothing, is a waste of time and you’ll feel worse. If anything, think about what you are proud of, practice gratitude for what you do have, and be proactive and forward thinking when you plan long and short term goals and work towards them slowly.
Consistency is key in everything in life. If you have bad habits, fix those now. Get proper sleep, eat well, exercise and socialize, every day. Start there and build. Good luck and have fun with it!
What if you reach out to those old friends? You miss 100% of the shots you didn’t take. And it doesn’t have to e serious, just a simple message will do.
Show you care! Ask them how’s it been? And truly listen, and respond to them. Don’t just talk about yourself. Show you’re friendly and honest. The right people will appreciate it.
It’s not just the meeting of people, it’s about connecting with them. Do you express opinions respectfully? Do you smile and show friendless? Do you share things about yourself and your life? Do you express empathy for someone’s struggles? Do you let them feel comfortable?
It’s worth checking on yourself and assessing your behavior. Not to say you’re the problem of course, you could be the perfect friend that people miss out on, but maybe you need to maximize your efforts. And present yourself more accurately.
Even if people are far away, so what? Don’t find excuses. You can still maintain friendship on the phone, talk honestly and support each other.
That’s my take on the social aspect.
I’m 26 year old, female, and am truly lost too. I’ve been alone, and struggling on many fronts. All the effort I did,went to waste. People just overlook me.
For older people like myself that’s not a fair question. In the late 90’s and early 2000’s you could just go get a job and afford food and rent. It’s so much harder now and I think the stats prove that. Just remember, you’re not even being close to being alone with what you’re dealing with. Try to connect with others dealing with the same for some advice and encouragement. Good luck my friend
1. I had also dropped out of college a few years prior and studied sound design for visual media at film school. I was living with an ex and working at an art supplies store.
2. I felt very, very lost. I had some idea of where I wanted to go in my life, but was still very uncertain of a real direction for myself.
3. What helped me was only a few years later when I left my gig/got let go (contract ended, didn’t renew) from a post production film studio and decided I needed to do what was best for me. I started to work on myself, my mental health, and my sense of purpose in life.
4. I would start with the basics. Take care of your self, your sleep, your mental well being, and devote your time and energy to learning and discovering things you enjoy. I would find work that fulfills you and that gives you a sense of purpose. I would make sure to be earning money while also finding ways to expand your capacity to earn more.
My brother in christ i was recovering from meth and heroin. I had just lost an apartment and had ti move me and my two new babies into my now ex girlfriends mom’s house.
No plan.
No sense.
No structure.
Now my kids are healthy and happy. I landed in a good field with good people (hardly tried tbh) and now make enough time say we live nice.
You’ll find a way. Your young and full of overthinking.
Feeling confused and hopeless too.
I’ve been in a similar spot where it felt like everyone else was moving forward and I was just stuck figuring things out.
You’re not at zero either. Speaking 5 languages and having freelance experience is something, it just hasn’t turned into anything consistent yet.
What helped was picking one direction that could actually make money and sticking with it long enough to build momentum instead of jumping around.
That “nothing feels enjoyable” part usually comes from feeling stuck. Once you start moving again, it tends to come back.
You’re not behind, just in that in-between phase.
I was doing an apprenticeship at 23. But before that I’d felt lost for sure. And I didn’t know exactly if that was what I wanted to do – I just chose something that I kinda liked and was interested in and went for it. Which did give me a sense of purpose and direction for a while.
At 28/29 I realized it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing – got injured so couldn’t do it anyway, then was lost again for a couple of years.
Try a few things and see what clicks, even if those things don’t exactly click, you will know – Okay, I don’t like this thing, but I liked this specific part of it (or none). But as you go – you find what you don’t like, so you look for something other than that. A bit like elimination. You either move away from something, or towards something. But both are moving you towards what you like/align with eventually.
You never know until later in life, but some of the random things you do/did before give you different skills later that crossover that you would never have known.
Some simple things you can do – write down what you do and don’t like so far. Working with people, improving systems, working outside, good with technology, working with your hand etc. Like working solo, in a small team, in a big team?
You could also try searching google for personality type job/career tests. Answer a bunch of questions and it will give you some ideas that may align with you. – good for ideas but you can do whatever you want.
If you try something and hate it after a few months – leave
If your workplace is truly toxic and bad for your mental (or physical) health – leave
If you like it/enjoy it/find it meaningful – stay until you feel like its time to move on
5 languages is killer – ever thought about being a tour guide or something?
All the best – whatever you choose to do.
What languages do you speak?
I started my undergraduate degree at 23………..never too late. Get going and find a new path. You have plenty of time and lessons to learn.
What were you doing at 23?
-I’m 7 years older than you, social media officer, was a different game then, I climbed the marketing ladder and then was totally burnt out by 29 I left everything behind and started from scratch again.
• Did anyone else feel this lost?
Yes
• What actually helped you get out of this phase (practically, not just mentally)?
-practical for me: Space and time, hiking, moving, being in nature, journalling, learning Muay Thai.
-practical for work: networking, online and in person, is how I made a breakthrough into a career.
• What would you do in my position?
You speak 5 languages, you actually launched a remote freelancing biz at 23, you want to build, you did many hobbies before, maybe you’re the visionary – inter-disciplinary type, many interest person. You like to solve problems? build solutions? architect a strategy?
-what do you want to do? honestly, the open door jobs board jobs market, lacks in inter-disciplinary type roles, everything is a niche, silo’d, hyper-focused, ultra competitive, it forces us into unnatural boxes and archetypes that flatten us as human beings, I have found personally, that there is a secret jobs market, and that’s where the opportunity is – meet people, network, you can find events online or in your city, make your own leads, luck, opportunity, surround yourself with like-minded people or people you admire, see what comes from that.
I’m also 23M and know four languages comfortably. I’m very much in the same boat as you – few friends, just made a transition from my teaching career to explore watchmaking as a career. I also wonder where I’ll end up or if I’ll be successful.
I’d say find some events to meet people. Don’t stay in your house, try to go out t activities you like. We are both in the fortunate position of bringing something to foreign language conversation groups, or even book clubs if that’s your thing.
Plus let me know if you’d like to connect too!
Pretty normal to feel lost at that age. I say the most important thing you can do is not jump around from dead end job to dead end job chasing a few dollar more pay increases and stick to a career path. If I were you and didn’t know exactly what to do I’d learn a trade. HVAC, Electrical, plumbing, concrete, maritime. They are all good, and if you ever do choose to do something you really want to do later on you will have a lifelong high profitable skill under your belt you know how to do that you can always fall back on if this new thing doesn’t work. That’s what I wish I woulda did and would have set me up a lot better for my future.
What were you doing at 23 – I was working in accounting and getting my degree at night school Went on to law school.
Did anyone else feel this lost? I felt very lost and unsure of what I was doing. Was it the right thing, was I wasting my time and money. But law school turned out to be the best thing I ever did. I had a gut feeling to stick with it.
What actually helped you get out of this phase (practically, not just mentally)? I made a life plan of what I wanted out of life – freedom of my time Was the most important so I knew I had to start my own business to have that kind of control.
What would you do in my position? I would spend a weekend in nature, hiking, or just at a beach and think hard what you want your life to be and move on from there.
1. I was studying nursing degree.
2. Of course I felt lost – I do even now sometimes, don’t worry. It’s part of the process.
3. I was in your position when I was 21. What helped me was moving to the diferent city (I’m from Europe) and starting focusing on studies. And of course – professional help from psychiatrist because I was not stable mentally.
4. I would get a degree in a field you are interested in and of course – setting an appoitment with proffesional for your mental health.
Good luck. After 2-3 years you will be looking at your post with smile.