I LOVE JIMI HENDRIX!

I will never need drugs as long as i've got Jimi Hendrix. Whenever i hear his music i start running around and screaming like i'm on cocaine. Each song, each word, each note aids in my destruction yet eases the pain that goes with it. My limbs are hacked at with dull axes and blood is gushing into a violent pool below me, but my mind is in a psychedelic heaven. I couldn't care less because after i die Hendrix himself will resurrect my soul and put me right back in the straight world. The pain of the human plane is too much to bear. Hendrix has held me up on such a high that as soon as my feet touch the human ground i cry out in pain and scratch at the walls, screaming for my personal jesus. My legs literally begin melting, detatching from my knees. But then he starts singing and i see infinity, the truth to all our mortal suffering. Then, the guitar phases out to simple a hum of the amplifier. That's almost enough to keep me alive, though not without misery. He offers me water from his palm and i drink out of it subserviently; as any liquid in his vicinity is pure enough to absolve you of any sin. I don't care about the afterlife. I just don't want to upset him by disobeying his almighty rule. Hendrix has turned me into a pious, dependent shell of what i used to be. I pray to him five times a day, one when i wake up, one after each meal, and one before bed. I LOVE JIMI HENDRIX!!!