Ağustos 25, 2025
Sözsüz kıçım önümüzdeki 2 yıl içinde 60 bin borç ödeyebilir?
Annemin 60 bin borcu var ve ailem bunu ödemekle mücadele ediyor ve çocukluğumdan beri zaten daha önce ilişki sorunları var ve bu durumun, bir süreç yapmadıkları ve hiçbir süreç yapmadıkları ve daha büyükleştiğinden emin olmadıkça bu durumun birbirini öldürmesiyle biteceğinden% 90 eminim. Dürüst olmak gerekirse depresyondayım ve hayatımla hiçbir şey yapmıyorum çünkü artık yaşam için bir sevgim yok, sadece kardeşlerimi ve kalacak bir yerleri olan ebeveynleri önemsiyorum. 21 yaşındayım ve yetenekli ve sadece bu borcu ödemek ve belki de milletime biraz danışmanlık almak için kontrolümü kolayca bulabileceğim ve agresif bir şekilde kurtarabileceğim fiziksel bir kariyer bulmak istiyorum. Birisi bana yardım edebilir ve bana bir yön verebilir mi? Önümüzdeki 2 yıl içinde bu paraya ihtiyacım var. Minimumda yaşayabilirim. Yaklaşık 5 saat uyku, arabada yaşıyorum ve her gün yulaf ezmesi yiyorum. Sadece çok yüksek ücretli bir işe ihtiyacım var ama aquire için hiçbir becerim veya param yok,
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You’re dreaming if you think paying off their debt will suddenly make things better. You’re at the age where you start to realize that your parents might be grown children. That was my realization. I helped them where and when I could, but I had to make my own life and ultimately I’m in an even better position to help them if something really bad were to happen.
You can grind for 2 years and live like a hermit and you might be able to do this. You could help them make a plan to pay it off over time and at least the plan/the vision could take the weight off their shoulders. You could also go to school (college/trade/etc) and set yourself (and your family) up for the long-term, not just the next 2 years.
Psychologist here. I’ve made my living trying to help people change. Even when they want to change, it’s very difficult. Your parents have a lot of years, inertia and bad habits that have led to this debt. Their behavior is not likely to change at this point in their life. You are certainly not able to change them. (People, myself included, don’t want to take advice from someone who’s diaper they’ve changed). One of the hardest things in life is watching people you love make destructive decisions.
If you are able to get on a career track and make decent money, please don’t give it to your parents. Even if their debt were erased, it’s likely they would be in the same position a few years down the road. Use the money to move on with your life. As a parent of adult children, I wouldn’t accept money from my kids.
As far as a career path, I suggest talking to a counselor at your local community college for advice. I also know a number of people that joined the military or became firefighters. None regret it.
Good luck.
Why do you feel responsible for their debt?
You should not pay off anyone else’s debt. They got into debt due to their poor choices, they’ll get into debt again. It happens all the time. People get a sudden windfall, pay off their debts, spend all of the money, then get into deeper debt.
They need to figure it out themselves and actually build the discipline to avoid getting there again.
YOU should focus on yourself. Imagine how far ahead you can get ahead if you set yourself up properly at your age. You can retire in your 50s fairly easily given your age if you’re just pointed in the right direction and discipline yourself properly.
google family owned concrete or roofing companies and call them and say you want a job you have transportation and will show up everyday you’ll probably have a job within a week that could meet those goals.
If it were me personally i’d save the money and in two years you will probably qualify to buy a house or townhouse or something that you have control of that your parents can’t screw up and you can move your siblings in and who knows maybe change the trajectory of your bloodline.
I’ve seen it happen so good luck.
It’s really sweet that you want to do so much for your parents but.. work on and invest in yourself. My mistake was sacrificing for the family unit- but when I needed help/got too sick to support everyone.. everyone left me. I feel that if I had focused on my future- I would have actually been able to help in a bigger, more substantial way. But also I would have something to show for my struggles. 0/10. Be there emotionally, maybe kick a little bit here and there but focus on yourself for the best results. Paying off their debt won’t fix their relationship, or make them appreciate you.
Hmmm. Work super hard to pay off their debt so they will just be rewarded for bad decisions…. Or give them both 20$ worth of shrooms to reset their brains and let them fix their own problems.
don’t do it OP!!! people who run up debt and get it paid off by someone else turn around and do the same thing again and again. you need to let them learn from their mistakes. that is the only way for them to change.
you don’t. This is absolutely not your burden.
If you have Flexible morality,
Trump is recruiting ICE agents with $50k signing bonus.
You can read up the requirements yourself and apply.
So what you need to do is get into a career field where *effort* is rewarded. It’s going to be something unsexy, with long hours, and low initial pay. You need to aim for UPSIDE.
My choice?
Sales.
Could be door to door, cold calling, working in a call center, etc. Find a place where you can dial for dollars and show EXTREME enthusiam. Stay longer than others. Work on refining your craft.
You’ll suck, you may hate it, and you may even say it’s not for you. Disregard those little voices in your head and keep putting in the reps. Sales is one of those games where it may take awhile for it to click, but once it does? You’re fucking invincible.
The upside is also great. Sales is one of the few careers you can legitimately make 6 figures with no education, just grind, sweat, and reps.
On top of that, sales helps in EVERY aspect of life – relationships, health, wealth, etc.
I always tell you young guns that your greatest asset is your work ethic. Display that, you’re in.
Let me know if you need more concrete direction.