Kategori: İngilizce Floodlar

I owed a friend £22.91 for an Uber.

I transferred them £22.19 by accident.

They never brought it up.

Nobody would bring up 72p.

I did it on purpose.

I've been doing it for years.

Every time I have to transfer someone money, I "accidentally" leave off a bit.

I call it the Plausible Deniability Typo.

£24.37 instead of £24.73.
£9.38 instead of £9.83.
£3.46 instead of £3.64.

Sometimes if I'm feeling really risky, I'll do £18.54 instead of £19.54.

They'd look like a complete tool to quibble over this.

Instead, they are a tool in a different way.

A to...Devamını Oku

shoegaze is the hot new music in the streets. everyone loves it, it is awesome music that everybody can enjoy.

i am an uber driver and yesterday i picked up this girl that looked almost exactly like famous rapper Sexyy Red. i'm not stereotyping at all nor do i think all urban black women look the same, they could've legit been twins. anyways, i was listening to Narrow Heads Satisfaction album (you guys can argue amongst yourselves if it's trve gaze or not, it's adjacent at the very least). a couple minutes of the ride went by and 'Cool In Motion' seemed to get her atte...Devamını Oku

I, a humble conservative, had my X account permanently suspended because I stated Israel has a right to self-defense in a private Discord server. However, a particularly woke leftist decided this was unacceptable. Hence, he banded his woke mob together and mass-reported my account, despite the fact that none of this happened on X. I was exercising my right of free speech, and did not harm anyone by saying Israel deserves to defend themselves. The woke left has been an enemy of mine for far too long now, but this was the last straw. Please consider unsuspending my X account. Thank you.

 SWEET APPLE MASSACRE

Transcribed and archived by me.

WARNING: This is considered one of the most disgusting trollfics ever made. Personally i think it's pretty funny but some people may be uncomfortable. This story contains:

rape
incest
torture
rape by proxy
sexual torture
physical torture
mental torture (for the reader lmao)
pedophilia
anal
oral
fucking 6 year olds being tortured and raped to death
zoophilia
dismemberment
scat
vomit
gore
lots and lots of rape can't stress this enough
beating
kidnapping
really out of character stuff

As y'all can see, this was written wit...Devamını Oku

Since I was 10 years old my penis has not grown at all. I vividly remember measuring it in the bathroom for the first time, and the horror of coming to the realization that my peenar was actually that small. I've checked every year since then, and its never grown bigger, not even a hundredth of an inch. I'm never gonna find love with a 2.63 inch micropenis. No one loves a man with a 2.63 inch micropenis. I can't pleasure any woman with this thing, and I can barely pleasure myself. How do I come to terms with my stupid baka life?

I can prove beyond all doubt that Skyrim's mammoth cheese is actually smegma.

I've seen pictures of horse smegma. It looks almost exactly like mammoth cheese (see comparative pic). Elephants have big penises. Mammoths would also have big penises. Wild animals can't wash their penises. Combined with the fact that mammoths are really hairy, this means that Skyrim mammoths definitely have lots of smegma built up in their dicks.

And funnily enough, mammoth smegma probably tastes better than you'd think. I've heard that smegma tastes like strong cheese and fermented fish sauce...Devamını Oku

I am 100% onboard with barefoot shoes and have been wearing them exclusively for the last two years but I swear all these brands are designed by the kind of person who lives in Berkeley and only buys vegetables at the local co-op and asks for the chicken's name at the local farm to table spot.

If you look at the shoes they make you would think none of these people have ever heard of a Jordan 1, or a New Balance 574, or the Paraboot Michael, or a Tricker's derby.

And to top it all off, they have the gall to charge $200+ for sloppy stitching done by some Portuguese workshop on mediocre...Devamını Oku

My cash app is $smorexo Please I just need $25 USD (Not copy paste)

He's no longer in my life but he was an abusive SOBER guy who would beat my mom and assault me and my sister physically. At 16 I was really depressed and unable to put up with it anymore and my mom refused to leave him or call the cops / let us report it to our counselors because he was really rich so to get him back I told my friend we needed a plan and he gave the idea of giving me his cum in a little ziploc bag so I can pour it in a pan mix it with raw eggs or something. It all went according to plan. He also ate that whole thing and loved it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/NoRules/s/2nkHvv...Devamını Oku

I KEEP getting femboy and boykisser subs recommended and it's pissing me off. How do I block subs, man?? I don't even know why I'm getting recommended corny shit

I keep a rosary for spiritual defense, since that’s what the Council of Trent intended. Four goth mommies in fishnets and crushed-velvet corsets kick down my door at 3 a.m. “What the—?” I clutch my scapular and blessed crucifix.
Hurl holy water at the first one; she hisses like a cat and melts into a puddle of black eyeliner. She’s out.
Draw my pocket-edition Catechism on the second; quote paragraph 1857 on mortal sin. She misses the gravity, laughs, and keeps advancing, so I wing the hardcover at her forehead. Thunk. She drops, concussed by the weight of doctrine.
The third lunges w...Devamını Oku

ray, what egregious pronouncement just emanated from your impudent maw, you paltry cur? I would have you cognizant of the fact that I am an alumnus of distinguished merit from the hallowed halls of the Navy SEALs, and have been instrumental in a plethora of clandestine operations against Al-Qaeda, having accrued a tally exceeding three hundred confirmed terminations. Adept in the art of guerrilla warfare, I stand as the preeminent marksman within the entirety of the United States armed forces. To me, you are naught but another inconsequential target. I shall excise you from existence with a pr...Devamını Oku

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This week I lost $472,085 short selling Korean fried chicken companies. My idea was with the declining Korean population, and the recent trend towards healthier eating and vegan diets, there is an opportunity here. I did some research into consumer trends in Korea and determined that this would be a lucrative play. So I shorted Korean Chicken companies across the board.

Unfortunately, earlier this week Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang dined out at a Korean Chicken restaurant called Khanbu Chicken in Seoul, and pictures went viral of him enj...Devamını Oku

Scaunul este o piesă de mobilier, de cele mai multe ori mobilă, realizată în scopul așezării unei persoane, care constă din șezut, spătar, picioare și elemente de legătură.

thanks for your input
I really needed that
that input was really necessary
I mean absolutely revolutionary input
I could not be more grateful for this input
very good input
I love this input
I wish he would give more inputs
very useful input
I'm gonna use this input a lot
very useful
I very much enjoyed this input
it was very necessary
I really needed to see this message
I wish he would do more messages like this often
I really needed to see this
I really needed him to correct me
I really needed that addon onto my sentence
I could not be more grateful for his contribution
what a generous m...Devamını Oku

(From r/offmychest)

I (18M) seemingly enjoyed getting molested by my mom for some reason.

She gave me an EXTREMELY PAINFUL handjob and I had an orgasm from it. During the handjob my mom essentially asked me this: "Do you feel good and strong?" I answered with "yes" I hate myself for that! She did that to me, when I was approximately 10-11 years old. It looks, like I enjoyed it, even if it was also EXTREMELY PAINFUL.

We dry humped each other and I almost came from it. I possibly even initiated the dry humping session as a child. I hate myself for thinking like that as...Devamını Oku

the pefcet loverrrrr: gender? idc,, personality? someimne who looves godzilla very passionate like meeeee 🦖, PC GAMER OBVIOUSLY(and console if they have one), plays minecraf but doesn't have to know everything i like to teach minecraft, chill and soft cuddly fun cute but strong scary serious when thy have to be, can be active and friendly, good listener and understander and rememberer???, interested in what i'm doing, assertive.. to an extent, advice giver even if it's dumb advice, bullies sometimes cus funy, can be honest and blunt and not afraid to share opinions, artist🎨 o...Devamını Oku

Fused Zamasu used Multiform to create infinite clones of himself, which he must have got from his Goku Black half because that delta male cuck Future Zamasu could never have learned it. Goku Black must have got Multiform from being inside Goku's body because he's a beta male cuck that couldn't have ever learned it on his own. This means that Goku must have learned it at some point, and the only point in the timeline that he could have learned it was when he was betrayed and trapped in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber for 420 nonillion years. The only person who could have taught it to G...Devamını Oku

I’ve think I have completely lost it.

Two weeks ago, i made an nude naked ai image of myself as a woman. "Just for fun".

She was super hot. I should have deleted it. Instead, i made more. Full body naked nudes. Filthy sexy erotic pictures of myself. before i knew it, i had a whole gallery of myself in ways no Man should ever see himself.

Then after a while i didn’t even need the ai anymore. I could just picture it. Close my eyes and imagine myself, as a woman, getting railed by me. Just me, my brain, and creampuff, my now battle-worn favorite Fleshlight.

Proper food, cl...Devamını Oku

In the land of America, where the kings claim to be presidents, there lived a man named Puzzleheaded_Line839, an ordinary traveller who somehow found himself astride the most peculiar creature in the realm: the Orange Dih.

The Dih wasn’t like other mounts. It was small, orange-tinted, with a mane that looked suspiciously like spun gold and a voice that never stopped talking.

“I’m the fastest, strongest, most luxurious creature ever created,” it would bellow as Puzzleheaded_Line839 tried to hold on. “Everyone says so. Everyone!”

Puzzleheaded_Line839 didn’t remember choosing t...Devamını Oku