Kategori: İngilizce Floodlar

I (17 m) had my Yale interview today. The interviewer (25 f) was smoking hot, and we really hit it off. She very clearly liked me and seemed to be giving me “the look” left right and center. I honestly lost count of the amount of times she laughed at things that I said and she seemed to genuinely enjoy talking to me. We ended up chatting for nearly 3 hours, and most of our conversation wasn’t even remotely about Yale—just random things about ourselves. Towards the end of the interview, I had a strange urge to go in for a kiss. It’s as though I completely forgot that this was an inter...Devamını Oku

There's no way in hell SpongeBob in his quickster form is going to defeat Wally West for several reasons and I'll name them now

Wally West's cognitive speed is 1,000 times faster
Wally West could run around the universe in less than 5 seconds
In the comics Wally West clearly became the god of speed and defined death in the face literally
The quickster sponge is a joke
The quickster sponge is a man child who's 35 years old
Wally West could manipulate his molecules out of biomolecular level and even beyond it at a quantum level
He literally defeated Archie's Sonic th...Devamını Oku

Not everything in the chickenfila menu is made of chicken. It has cheeze which is from cow and milkshake which contains milk which is from cow. It also has lettuce and tomoto which is in vegetable kingdom. Some sauces contain egg of chicken poultry but also other things like salt which is an ionic chemical

There are 11 players on each team, one team bats and the other team fields.
There are two referees, called umpires. One umpire tosses a coin, and the two teams' captains decide heads or tails. Whoever wins the toss decides whether they want to bat first or field first.
From the batting team, two players stand on either side of the pitch. The remaining 9 sit on their asses waiting for their turn to come.
One batsman is on the batting side, at whom the bowler has to throw the ball. The other batsman stands on the other end, waiting for his turn to come.
A bowler from the fielding team throws...Devamını Oku

So I know how this sounds, but it was out of my control; the perfect mix of events, urges, and luck happened, resulting in my unfortunate loss.

I had just gotten home from school after a very stressful end-of-trimester week of making up work. I had slept very little and haven’t pooped for a week.

I was very horny but that didn’t matter, I ran to the toilet and let out a monster-sized shit, but it didn’t land normally. It fell tip-to-bottom and faced up. Then my mind flashed to these hot girls I saw at school, and I thrusted uncontrollably on this gravity-defying piece of shit, and let ...Devamını Oku

I feel like this is a safe place to confess. She’s somewhere in the Miami canal. I don’t get too close, but sometimes I drive slowly on the highway just to see if everything still looks… the same. The water level has dropped a bit. That makes me nervous.
I haven’t slept well in months. I still hear the sound of the impact some nights. It was quick. I don’t think she even saw it coming.
I changed jobs. Deleted my socials. Sold the car. I have an escape route planned in case things go wrong. I spend hours looking at the map. Colombia seems like a good option. Jungle, heat… no one ask...Devamını Oku

I know it sounds bad but love just happens. Love will happen wherever it can happen, like murphy said or something.
The worst part, the woman he cheated on me with was no other than our mother.
A mother is supposed to be someone who is always there for you. Well she was there for him at least. Now how can I ever trust my own mother again? She's supposed to respect my dating life. Like yeah, so it's my brother, but still? I thought she would understand... I'm just so heart broken guys. Am I the asshole?

The Negative Marginal Utility of Text Walls

By A. Random Economist, Ph.D.

In economic theory, marginal utility refers to the additional satisfaction a consumer derives from consuming one more unit of a good or service. Applied to online discourse, however, it becomes clear that beyond a certain threshold, additional text does not yield increased utility. Instead, the curve inverts: the longer the text, the greater the reader’s fatigue, until the marginal utility of each added paragraph turns sharply negative. This phenomenon, the negative marginal utility of text walls, can be observed...Devamını Oku

I saw Steven Seagal at a Walmart in Las Vegas yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his...Devamını Oku

Considering their ears and noses fall off in time from rotting, Anything not to held together with bone would be at risk of falling off. Add that to a southern trend of free balling, and you've got yourself dicks in the road.

Do you think anyone slipped on one like a banana peel.

- found on r/thewalkingdead

For context, im 30 years old and live with my parents

I was jacking it in my room late at night (on crack) and suddenly I needed to shit really bad, so I tried to stajd up but I shifted myself and it made a really loud sound. I suspect the sound woke up my elderly mother who came into my room and caught me with a Crack pipe, butt naked with shit all over my bed. I was wearing the upper half of an authentic gestapo uniform (I have a fetick) and she immediately screamed and ran out, im sitting in the corner of my room with a shitty ass and a rancid smell in my room and I dont know how to talk ...Devamını Oku

Man when NNN is over, I’m gonna do so many crazy things to my gigantic red rocket. Firstly I’m gonna make sure to eat lots of pineapple the day before December 1st. Then once December 1st hits, I’m gonna get some freshly made doughnuts from my local doughnut place. I’m gonna stack like 2 or 3 warm doughnuts on my red rocket and just let loose. Next I’m gonna get one of those jelly doughnuts and make a hole big enough for mr jimmy to fit inside. Then I’m gonna get a banana, hollow it out, and once again go to pound town on it. No lube is needed for my slippery little friend, as the ...Devamını Oku

it was penis inspection day, i was nervous. the nurse walked in—big tiddies, hips wider than my future, and a clipboard she kept tapping like she already knew i was doomed.

"drop em," she said. i did. her eyes went straight to my dick like it owed her money. "huh," she muttered, "smaller than last year."

my soul left my body. my dick tried to hide. the nurse just snorted and grabbed her ruler. "let's measure your... progress." her fingers were cold. i whimpered. she laughed.

then BAM i woke up. SWEATING. PANICKED. scrambled to check my pants.

t...Devamını Oku

This is how it happened. This is how the Batman died. Nine months ago, Joker was cremated. I pressed the button and burnt the evil bastard myself. And then... We waited. Gotham braced itself for the inevitable power struggle, but it didn't come; crime actually fell. Deep down, I knew war was coming. I was just waiting for someone to pull the trigger.

Thsnks aprecate

depite "sexual posts WILL RESULT IN YOU GETTING BANNED" being literally shoved in your face, dead as every single post breaks this rule some how. dont get me wrong, i love sex ass well. i love splashing my liquid about the place after using up a dora explore doll. but it's just super obnoxious

when I was a kid, I would walk to the church on sundays and our preacher would always ride his bicycle, but one sunday, I saw him walking to church, and I said, hey, preacher where's your bicycle? he said, I think somebody stole it, I said, well, everybody comes to church. why don't you just go over the 10 commandments today? and when you say thou shall not steal, look everyone in the eye and anybody thats looking guilty is probably who stole your bicycle and he went over the 10 commandments, but he didn't look everybody in the eye during the sermon. and I asked him afterwards, wh...Devamını Oku

I'd like to understand the rules here. As an 18-year-old atheist (and soon-to-be diagnosed psychopath), I bashed my father's head in with a ball peen hammer. Shortly thereafter, while out on bond, I had sex with two minors. The latter disqualifies me from making YouTube videos about Christianity, while the former does not. I actually don't understand, so please explain. (Note: If the latter DOES disqualify me from making YouTube videos about Christianity, I will stop making YouTube videos about Christianity. But I'll need more explanation than this post from Carson.)

This is a clash of titans, a battle that transcends dimensions, logic, and physiology. We are pitting the immovable object of Meme Prep Time against the unstoppable force of Shonen Power Scaling.
Here is the breakdown of the fight of the century.
Tale of the Tape
| Fighter | Batman's Left Buttcheek | Goku's Right Testicle |
|---|---|---|
| Class | Tactical Gluteus Maximus | Saiyan Reproductive Organ |
| Primary Stat | Infinite Intelligence (via connection to Batman's brain) | Multi-Universal Durability (via Ki protection) |
| Special Ability | The "12-Nanosecond Clench" ...Devamını Oku

I know, I know I’m super late. Happy National Boyfriends Day Baby ❤️🔐 I’m so grateful to have someone so amazing. I’m so lucky to be able to call you mine ❤️❤️ I swear I hate you, because you go to bed looking perfect, you wake up looking perfect, after the gym, like you always look perfect and it kinda makes me wanna smash my head against a brick wall but 🤷‍♀️ I can’t wait to make it to the top with you! Modeling, motocross, music, YouTube, our own businesses, billion dollar houses, and everything we’ve ever dreamed of!! 👑💎 Thank you from the bottom of ...Devamını Oku