I’m a 32 year old man who likes teenage girls

Before you attack me, I want you to know that I don't act on my thoughts. I don't talk to undersge girls. I would never even touch one. But I can't help fantasizing about them if I see one who attracts me. I used to have a foreign neighbor. I don't know her age but I guess around 14 years old. I never even talked to her, I don't even know her name,especially because of the language barrier. A guy from her family (or a friend, not sure) madr me understand she likes me. Even my mother noticed this. Please do not attack me. I have no control over my thoughts and fantasies, only on my actions and I don't even talk to underage girls, unless they're family (like my 13 year old niece, who I treat as if she was my own daughter). In fact, I'd beat the shit out of some adult who'd try anything with my niece. I'm very protective of her. Heck, I'd beat the shit out of anyone trying to do anything with a minor, even if they're not family.

I first became aware of this when I was in my early 20s and had a crush on a 12 year old and I was 21. But I never acted on it and didn't even talk to her.

I feel extremely disgusted with myself because of this. I feel deep shame and frustration and anger. This is why I'm asking you not to judge me harshly. I hate myself for this enough, no need for more hate.

P S: the age of consent in my country is 14. But I'd never touch or date anyone below 18. And no, I never watched and would never watch porn with underage girls in it. I think whoever does that should go straight to jail.