The impermeable bottle of Jarritos Mineragua Club Soda

This impermeable bottle of Jarritos Mineragua Club Soda cannot be opened with anything other than a bottle opener.  You cannot pretend to be at a frat party and ingeniously open the cap with the edge of a penny, or with the tip of a house key.  It cannot be cleverly jimmied or twisted off like most standard American bottle caps. You cannot pry, melt, bump, dent, scrape off or loosen it with a vice grip. You can only open this curiously over-engineered steel cap with a pliers or a professional bottle opener, which many convenience stores do not sell, like the Kum & Go convenience stores of Oklahoma and Missouri, USA.  So after buying this convenient Jarritors Mineragua Club Soda, you must also conveniently go down the street to the grocery store and buy a bottle opener which costs between $2.75 and $7.75 for higher end models.  When you buy this product, you waste two hours of your life trying to open it, and another three days applying ointment to the scrapes on your hand as you try various objects in your hotel room or car or workplace to open the cap– metal hangers, the edge of a steel countertop, a paper clip, various Europen coins, the bottom of your steel toed shoe, a blow torch, a nail file, or even a Phillips head screwdriver.  This bottle would be better off safely housing weapons of mass destruction, or better off in an end-times Mayan calendar apocalyptic bunker where water supplies are safe from access by untrained civilians.

Original youtube comment can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtBYvAjz3Zo