Ocak 16, 2026
20 dk, ne yaptığım hakkında hiçbir fikrim yok, herhangi bir şey yapabilir miyim bilmiyorum
neredeyse 3 yıldır “liseyi” terk ettim ve henüz hayatımda anlamlı bir şey yapmadım ya da bunu yapmak için herhangi bir adım atmadım. Sosyal etkileşimden o kadar mantıksız bir şekilde korkuyorum ki bu yüzden açıkçası kendimden nefret ediyorum.
Bu yüzden 7. sınıftan mezuniyete kadar çevrimiçi eğitim aldım, ancak geriye dönüp baktığımda kendimi daha da mahvettim ve durumun daha da kötüleşmesine izin verdim.
hiçbir zaman herhangi bir işim olmadı. Hala annemle yaşıyorum ve doktor randevuları gibi işleri ve yetişkin yaşamında yapabilmem gereken genel şeyleri halletme konusunda ona güveniyorum. o umursamıyor, çok tatlı ve benim için en iyisini istiyor ama ben kendimi işe yaramaz, büyümüş bir çocuk gibi hissediyorum
Çalışmak, topluma entegre olmak ve katkıda bulunmak istiyorum ama nasıl doğru dürüst insan olunacağını bile bilmediğimi hissediyorum. Pek zeki değilim ve kariyer için gerçekçi bir fırsat sunan hiçbir şeyde iyi değilim ve hatta iyi olduğum veya ilgilendiğim şeylerde bile o kadar iyi değilim.
Sorunlarımın muhtemelen çalışmamayı da aştığını biliyorum ama bunun iyi bir başlangıç olabileceğini düşünüyorum, ama tamamen kayboldum
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Dude, chillll. Try to be more kind to yourself.
Sure, you’re going to have to work on things. Start small. The fact that you’re acknowledging that you are reliant on your mother is a good start. It shows that maybe somewhere deep within you, your psyche *wants* to do those things- *wants* to be more independent. Start with working on those things.
At 20 you’re still figuring yourself out. Give yourself some space to do so. I wouldn’t consider 20 year old me an adult, just cause there are a few formative experiences that helped me feel mature (for lack of a better term). Go form those experiences! No guarantees that you won’t fail, but you should work towards feeling ok even if you do.
Godspeed bro!
In a sense, you’ve already taken a first step by joining a community (even if it’s not necessarily what you may mean). I can relate to the anxiety and difficulty of putting yourself out there, especially in a social setting.
Even if you don’t excel, necessarily, in any given field, there’s a saying that goes, “A Jack of All Trades and Master of None, is often better than a Jack of No Trades and Master of One.” If you enjoy something, and do it often enough, you’re likely to pick up on ways to improve.
I’m speaking from experience on both of those, by the way^ If you like drawing, try observing the type of “subject” you want to get better at depicting. If you enjoy producing literature or poetry, focus on how the words flow, and how you arrange them, and see if there are a few points where you can polish your work.
Talking to strangers is something that I still sometimes dread to this day…but as with everything, it takes small steps. Basic things, brief interactions, can be the gateway you need in order to advance a little further at a time. If there’s a library in your area, maybe ask someone at the front desk to point you to the section your usual favourite genre can be found in. Even if you already know, it’s good practise to help you get more comfortable. (Besides, that’s what they’re there for! They talk to people on a daily-or-near-daily basis for work, and they may even know about job opportunities in the neighborhood, or there might be a workshop, program, etc., run by the library or town/city/what-have-you that you live in!)
It’s one of those Journeys of a Thousand Miles. Every step you take counts, and you change a little every day (even unconsciously). I’ve lived and learned (hangin’ on the edge of tomorrow/from the words of yesterday–sorry… That might be a little too much levity. I do legitimately love that song, though) over time, and it’s slow going, oftentimes, but worth the effort you put in. Even if you don’t talk to anybody there, I still recommend the library (or arcade, or anything, really, if you’re able to go out solo), so you can spend some time unwinding. A good book, comic book, manga, or other media, can help more than you know, and give you a companion to “walk the path” with.
All in all, I wish you well. Take care for now.