Aralık 30, 2025
Kendi yerimi mi almalıyım?
Ben 31 milyon yaşındayım, üniversiteden yeni mezun oldum ve mayıs ayında kurumsal bir iş buldum. Diğer 5 aile üyesiyle birlikte oldukça küçük bir evde yaşıyorum. Başkalarını dinlemekten, onların söylediklerini düşünmekten ya da sadece onları dikkate almaktan yoruldum. Bunun biraz sert olduğunu biliyorum ama doğru. Ailemi seviyorum ama onlarla yaşamak istemiyorum. Durum hakkında alçakgönüllü olmak için elimden geleni yapıyorum ama evin en büyük çocuğuyum ve sadece kendi alanıma sahip olmak ve işleri kendi yöntemimle yapabilmek istiyorum.
Sorun şu ki, bulunduğum bölgeden taşınmak bana gelirimin yaklaşık %50’sine mal olacak. Hayatımın sorumluluğunu üstlenmeyi sürekli erteliyordum çünkü bir youtube ya da buna benzer aptal bir şey olacağımı düşünüyordum ve şimdi ne için çalışıyorum diye düşünüyorum. Eğer tüm zamanımı işte geçireceksem en azından eve gittiğimde biraz huzur bulabilmeliyim.
Net servetim 70 bin civarında, bu yüzden çok geride kaldığımı hissediyorum ve herhangi bir nedenle ayrılmak zorunda kalana kadar evde kalmam gerekiyor.
Burada ne aradığımdan pek emin değilim. Sanırım, kısa vadede mali açıdan sorumsuz davranıp kendi alanına sahip olmaya karar veren ve bunu başaran başka biri var mı diye merak ediyorum.
Evde olmak bana, bir gün uyanıp hayallerimin peşinden gitmek istersem yine de her şeyi bırakabilecekmişim gibi geliyor ama şu aşamada hayallerimin bu ortamda gerçeğe dönüşebileceğinden emin değilim.
Kendinizi yaşlı ve hayatta geride kalmış hissedin.
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Right now your living situation is buying you emotional optionality, not freedom.
As long as staying home removes the cost of indecision, nothing will force your priorities to crystallize, which is why it feels safe and suffocating at the same time.
I agree you need your own place, but I do think you should prepare mentally and financially.
If you think it will cost 50% of your income for a place to live, I would start putting 50% in a HYSA or a brokerage account.
Start getting an idea what you want In a place to live.
Prepare what you need to and start paying down debt.
After 1 year you should have at least $20k and be in a good position to move forward with whatever you choose at that time
I live an expensive area as well, so I get it. However, moving away from home was great for my mental health.
Make a budget and see how much you would have left after each paycheck. Having no debt is awesome and will certainly help you. You might need to cut some expenses (subscriptions, erring out x amount of times, etc.) but it might be worth it.
Roommates is also an option until you start earning more.
sounds like time to move on. 31 and living at home? might be normal in some cultures. where do you live?
I moved out at 19 🤷♂️
Dude you’re 31 years old wdym “should I get my own place?” 😭
Should I get my own place? Of course! You are 31, not 17 anymore!
I was forced to get my own place at 18. Fortunately I got back under my parents to finish college.
But as soon as that was done, I took off with $1500 and a job for $10/hr.
In 3 years I was making $80k/yr.
A year later I accepted the dream job, for $40k less than the job I held. And I retired from that job making 6 figures.
You take the bull by the horns. It’s on you for what and where you want to be.
And God does answer prayers.
I’m going to start with the last line of your post: “just feel old and left behind in life.” You are right and it’s good that you are recognizing this.
This is going to sound a bit harsh, but honestly – you are already a behind on the life skill stuff needed for living independently from your family. Plus, harboring a dream that as long as you live with your family you can just suddenly wake up and magically pursue your dream is unrealistic.
It’s time to grow up and move out. However, you should not be paying half of your wages for a roof over your head. But nothing says you can’t get your own place and get a roommate or 2. That would certainly be better than living with a whole bunch of family members.
I’m assuming at some point you might want to pursue a relationship with someone? Kind of hard to do that living with your family and most women (I guess I should say potential partners) are not going to be too keen on pursuing a future with someone in their 30s who still lives with their family. [ Of course, I’m thinking from a U.S. perspective- this might be a different perspective in a different culture].
You made this post in order to receive comments / advice from other Redditors. My advice is to move out and plan to get a place with a roommate. Start your life as an independent adult. Work your job, pay your rent, feed yourself, and do everything you can to start putting money aside for the future. Along the way, find time for friends and yourself and perhaps even finding a partner, if that’s something you want. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy- it is brutal out there. But your life is waiting for you. You can do it.