Aralık 4, 2025
Dört yıllık işsizlikten sonra nasıl toparlanırım?
30 yaşındayım, 2022’den beri iÅŸsizim, annemle yaşıyorum, porno ve video oyunları bağımlısıyım ve gerçek dünya için kendimi tamamen kaybolmuÅŸ ve hazırlıksız hissediyorum. Tamamen yetersiz birikimlerim ve annemin nezaketi sayesinde hayatta kalıyorum (ikisi de tükeniyor). Tam bir erkek çocuÄŸa dönüştüm ve böyle yaÅŸamak istemiyorum.
ben oradaydım "doğru yol" hayatımın çoğunda; Üniversiteden iyi notlarla ve Bilgisayar Bilimleri derecesiyle mezun oldum, hemen ardından bir iş buldum ve taşındım. Sonra ağır bir depresyona girdim, yalnızca bir yıl içinde işimi kaybettim, evime geri döndüm ve o zamandan beri aklımda net bir hedef olmadan neredeyse öylece sürükleniyorum. Bu günlerde yaptığım tek şey küçük oyun geliştirme projeleri, 3D modelleme ve her ikisi için de çevrimiçi kurslar almak, ancak çoğunlukla iş bulmak için hiçbir şey yapmadım.
Programlamadan oyun geliştirmeye ve 3D modellemeye kadar çeşitli konularda yüzeysel düzeyde bilgim olduğunu hissediyorum, ancak bu alanların herhangi birinde işe alınmak için yeterli değil. Eğer pes edip dışarı çıkıp bulabildiğim her yerde iş bulursam, artık gerçekten istediğim kariyere (oyun geliştirme veya 3D sanatçısı) yönelik çalışmak için zamanım ve enerjim olmayacağından endişeleniyorum. Annem bana, tüm bu proje ve kursları aslında bu bilgiyi bir yere ulaşmak için kullanmak adına değil, daha ziyade üretkenmiş gibi görünerek gerçeklikten kaçınmanın bir yolu olarak yaptığımı düşündüğünü söyledi. O haklı.
Bunun belirsiz bir soru olduğunu biliyorum ama gerçekten biraz tavsiyeye ihtiyacım var. Gördüğüm tek seçenek, yapmayı başardığım küçük şeylerden oluşan bir portföy oluşturmak ve bununla kanatlanmak, olabildiğince hızlı bir şekilde profesyonel olma umuduyla çalışmalarımı sert bir şekilde zorlamak ya da sadece pes edip her nerede olursa olsun bir iş bulmak. Üçünden de korkuyorum.
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Bro.
I don’t know if you really need advice. You already know what to do. You said you’re avoiding ‘reality’. So, that’s the answer you’re looking for: to face the suck head on. No amount of advice will actually solve the avoidance.
Not here to judge– We’ve all been there (I avoided ‘the work’ that actually moved the needle bc I feared people judged my work, as I launced something but not catching enough traction for people to see or buy, and hurted my confidence).
But here’s a question, deeper than the surface… What fear, or what’s your biggest barrier to actually do the work you avoid the most?
I’d say aim to get a retail/hospitality job at a not so busy place to ease yourself back into the working world. Being around other humans will help your mental state. Humans are social creatures and you’re killing your energy levels being alone at home all the time. Even if you’re not working, go out and spend some time in public places
There is no shame in being scared of a world that you’ve withdrawn from. The first thing I can tell you is to learn how to be *shameless.* Let’s face facts here: the path you’re on is making you unhappy, you’re 30, in a bad spot personally, and staying with the folks with no plan or goal in mind. That’s not a great start, but it’s more than some people have: you’re not addicted to drugs/alcohol, not homeless, not completely bankrupt… That’s a lot of micro-advantages that you probably don’t even realize you have.
So, what do we do from here? If you only care about employment, I would take grocery over traditional retail; the pay is much higher in perishable, benefits are excellent if you need to budget (employee discount on groceries is nothing to be snide about), and you can finesse your way into management, in-house IT, maintenance crews, warehousing, high-level product buying, inventory management, and about a billion other fields that can all pay just as much as anything in tech. This isn’t the time to get picky about what the job is: the bottom line is that nothing you will ever want can be gotten without *money*.
Here’s where being absolutely, pathetically *shameless* kicks in. You have to have absolutely no shame in applying for jobs that you think are beneath you. Take the shittiest produce clerk job in existence because you NEED it. Find a roommate to share a space with you because you NEED to. Ask for charitable donations, steal money from the collection plate at church, sell your vehicle (if you have one) and get a bicycle. Do these things not because they feel good in the moment, but because it will get you just an inch further on the path to getting out of the rot and having a life to be proud of. Call every favor you need, lean on the people close to you, do whatever you have to do. This world is hard to exist in, and our lives are only *what we make them, not what is given to us by random luck.*
Once you have some financial stability, and maybe your own place, you can start to get a little pickier in the job search. Work grocery for a year or so to light a fire under your ass (trust me, you’ll want to quit after a month; make lasting 1 full calendar year the goal, and make an effort to really learn the job – I promise this will work wonders for you). After that, quiet-quit on that employer and start hunting for the dream job.
My dad’s life really didn’t start until he was 40. There is absolutely no time limit on getting your shit together. It sounds like you’re ready to move on, even if what you can muster right now is a Reddit post. If that’s the case, prove it to yourself! There is no glory in the first steps on a long road, but once you’re halfway down the path you can look back and marvel at how far you’ve come.
Godspeed OP, I hope you find a path that works for you. I used to be a hiring/firing manager in grocery – if you need resume advice or pointers on what kinds of jobs/chains exist in that market, shoot me a DM and I’m happy to help!
Your worry about not being able to work towards the career you actually want if you just get any job is like worrying about your unpaid cellphone bill while you are about to be eaten by a bear. That’s a problem for tomorrow. The immediate problem for you is getting on solid ground.
Your first and second options will create a ton of stress and anxiety on you and actually hinder your ability to succeed there. The third option allows you to find a footing and buys you time and space to move towards a better path long term.
Why don’t you just get any regular job and then do courses in your free time. I mean even with a 40hr work week you still have the weekends to do courses for your computer science career.
You have skills in demand for online/ remote jobs. Get resume help with your experience and skills optimized then send tons of applications every day. This is realistic forward path and definitely nudge you towards coming out from your comfort zone. And will also give you some sense of accomplishment and confidence with the least amount of effort for now
You know what to do but you are merely procrastinating and delaying it. Get into a job, any job for the time being while on the lookout for something closer to your qualifications and credentials. Having a day job will put some perspective back into life, waking up and getting things done for a reason. Old folks arent going to linger forever and you have to fend for yourself being late into adulthood. Get rid of those screen addiction too, please. There will be more productivity and clarity of the mind without it.