Kasım 6, 2025
Sürekli kendi kendime karşı olduğumu hissediyorum.
Çok genç yaşlarımdan beri son derece zeki ve yetenekli biri olarak algılandım; öğretmenlerden, aile üyelerinden, arkadaşlarımdan vb. sıklıkla iltifatlar aldım.
İnternetteki ücretsiz kaynaklar aracılığıyla kendi kendime İngilizce öğrendim, 14 yaşında akıcı bir dil edindim. Ben de tam anlamıyla bilgisayarlara takıntılıydım, ilk programımı 10 yaşımdayken C dilinde yazdım, elektrik faturalarından kesilen tahmini vergi miktarını hesaplıyordu.
Ancak hayatımda hiçbir zaman BT alanında bir işe hazır hissetmedim, her zaman donup kalıyorum, ders üstüne ders çalışmaya dönüyorum ve hala hiçbir şey bilmediğime inanıyorum. Şu anda 21 yaşındayım, bir benzin istasyonunda çalışıyorum, tüm iş arkadaşlarım daha iyi bir yerde olmam gerektiğini söylüyor ve ben de buna inanıyorum. Ama yapamam. Her gün kafama işlerle ilgili birçok fikir geliyor, hepsini planlıyorum ama uygulayamıyorum, paniğe kapılıyorum ve kendimden şüphe ederek kendimi bunaltıyorum.
Görünmez bir kafeste sıkışıp kaldım ve nasıl çıkacağımı bilmiyorum.
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Reminds me of some old philosopher “the fool thinks he knows everything, the wise man knows he knows nothing”
Sounds like you’re simply wise
Genuinely the best advice I’ve received is to pick one thing that you think you’d like to create, create it and develop the muscles to actually do the thing.
It is unlikely that the first thing you decide to do will be the same direction you’ll end up going later on, but at least you’ll have done something.
Small steps each day, even 15 minutes, first thinking about what you want to do, then planning, then start trying to make it happen, and keep building, basically for fun, if you like this direction you’ve chosen to head, stick with it. If you’re unsatisfied, pray that another idea will come your way soon, and work at that too.
Eventually you will distinguish the direction that you really want to go, but it takes time actually doing things to know what things you want to do. There is no timeline, deadline or pressure, the gas station will always be there to fall back on, or whatever other job, just save money wisely and make stuff you think you’ll like making.
You’re more ahead than most and haven’t gotten sucked into debt or anything I assume, I know life is hard and finding a path is weirdly incredibly difficult if you’re an “overthinker”, but you’re in a good place, just need to reframe to take the pressure off, you’re not stuck, just need to give yourself some grace and some space to breathe and create.
I’d say you don’t need to know everything to start, just show up one thing at a time and learn along the way, this applied with your job in IT or starting to execute your business ideas. Good things is like you are willing to learn, and what you need is just to show up really. Start doing that little tiny things : start applying, start writing that business ideas and step by step on how you can execute it— doesn’t have to be big but at least you can get out from your mental block and overthinking by doing little things and live in the present.
“It is not because of fear that you have ego – because of ego, you have fear.”
The story in which you have in loop in your head is one of invincibility as a kid but that’s because back then you didint overthink anything and followed your intrest and allowed reality to fall where it may , but now your brain craves certainty in an uncertain world
If there is a fear of falling, the only safety consists in deliberately jumping
So jump my friend it will be scarry but the only way to transcends fear is to accept it and enjoy the process good luck your Hella young you have your whole life to Actualize that potential.