Kasım 4, 2025
27f hayat darmadağınmış gibi geliyor. Çok büyük bir hata mı yaptım?
27f birkaç yıl önce işe yaramaz bir dereceyle mezun oldu, birkaç yıl resepsiyonist olarak çalıştı ve bu yılın başında bir VHCOL şehrinde ticari operasyonlarda yılda 70 bin kazandıran yeni bir iş buldum. Ticari operasyonlar işinde patronum, bir yıldan az bir süre orada çalıştıktan sonra beni bir performans iyileştirme planına koydu. Her gün perişan ve stresliydim, çoğunlukla ücretsiz fazla mesai yapıyordum. Kilo aldım ve sürekli çocukluk hayalim olan tıp okumak üzerine düşündüm.
Tıp fakültesi önkoşullarımı almak için şehrimdeki bir okula başvurdum. Okula başladığımda ticari operasyon işini bıraktım.
Öğrenci kredilerine yakın zamanda getirilen üst sınır nedeniyle hemşireliğin mali açıdan daha güvenli bir yol olacağına karar verildi. Şu anda evde ailemle yaşarken hemşirelik için ön koşullarımı alıyorum. Kararımı yüzde 100 destekliyorlar, çalıştığım işte benim için bir gelecek olmadığını düşünüyorlar ve hemşirelik işini sonuna kadar görmemi istiyorlar.
Daha önce evlilikten bahseden bir yıllık erkek arkadaşım okula dönmeye karar verdiğimde benden ayrıldı. Randevularımızda her zaman 50/50 giderdik ve öğrenci bütçem kısıtlı olduğu için benimle çıkmak istemedi. Sadece “hayatın farklı aşamalarına girmişiz” gibi hissetti.
Şu anda kendimi kaybeden gibi hissediyorum. Gelir sahibi olmayı özledim ama son işimden kovulacağımı hissettim ve işe yaramaz bir alanda aldığım diplomayla finans sektöründe kendime bir gelecek göremiyordum. Sağlık sektöründeki bir kariyerin uzun vadede daha istikrarlı olacağını düşündüm. Şu anda kendim için gösterecek hiçbir şeyim yok ve benim yaşımdaki diğer insanlar yerleşirken ben yeniden başlıyorum. Değersiz bir zavallı gibi hissetmeyi nasıl bırakabilirim? Ayrılık özgüvenimi zedeledi, kariyer değişikliğim nedeniyle şu anda kimsenin benimle ciddi olarak çıkmak istemeyeceğini düşünüyorum.
Finans bölümünde işletme operasyonları işini bırakarak hata mı yaptım?
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Wtf.
You’re just 27.
People change careers all the time.
Even in their 40s.
Wtf is wrong with people.
Moreover your family supports you.
And you are finally doing what you love doing.
Just cuz a fucker left you doesn’t mean shit.
Stop comparing yourself with other people.
You’re ignoring the bright side and focusing on what others think.
Fuck what others think. Do your thing!
You’re doing great working on your childhood dreams. Keep doing it and fuck everyone else.
No you’re not making a huge mistake you have a support network and hopefully won’t have a ton of debt. But if you quit medicine early it will have been a bad choice
Let me tell you a story:
I graduated in 2021 with an English degree from a terrible state school, and left that terrible state school incredibly addicted to multiple drugs. I started working a dogshit trade job towards the end of my college career and was on the grind for about 2 years before I became management, then another 3 before I quit to pursue a career in IT. Right before I left that career, my life absolutely imploded and I had to come home to work 60+ hours a week while completing cert programs just to afford the testing center’s fees.
My girlfriend and I have been together since before the aforementioned life implosion, coming up on 2 years together soon. I was exceptionally lucky that she stuck around, because a shallower person wouldn’t have. I don’t know what your relationship was like from where you’re sitting, but a marriage-quality partner knows to stick around for the hard parts. She knew me when I was still addicted, years before we dated; everyone else I knew back then either ghosted, moved and lost contact, or spiraled worse than I did. At least 4 of my friends from that time are dead now. She went nowhere though, because she was *invested in my wellbeing,* and wanted to see me succeed even before there were romantic stakes involved. That’s why I started to date her once she came home from out-of-state college, and it’s why we’re still together now.
Life is hard, man. It’s unfair, and it seems to always know when your happy so it can start plotting to take that away from you. You’re not a failure; even if you think your degree was useless, think about how many people didn’t even manage to finish their degree programs. You had a career that you weren’t happy with, so you rolled the dice and started over – if the ultimate outcome is a better one, where you’re happy and able to live a fulfilled life, then who gives a fuck about anyone else’s opinion?
As for the question of “how do I stop feeling like a worthless loser,” that answer is surprisingly uncomplicated. You started totally over and have a blank slate in front of you, and (btw, if I’m wrong about this you’re welcome to say so) you’re having writer’s block about what the first etchings on that slate should be. Not being sure what to put on that marble is not the same as being worthless, because the only thing stopping you is just temporary. The answer will come to you, and nobody is standing over your shoulder demanding that you have it right this second, so why put all this pressure on yourself?
The beautiful thing about that slate is that there are no wrong answers. Draw a dick on it; paint the Sistine Chapel on it; write a story on it with cheesy dialogue and bad characters. Nothing that anyone can say about it matters, because this slate will be hung on YOUR wall, if you choose to hang it at all, and the only people who see it will be the ones you let into your metaphorical house.
But, back to the story… I’m hitting 5 years totally clean next February. I managed to avoid jailtime, even though plenty of people didn’t. I managed to successfully change careers, even through plenty of people didn’t. I’m healthy enough and doing financially well enough to be eligible for guardianship of my disabled sibling in a few years, even though a lot of people don’t have the means or the ability to do that for theirs. He’s actually standing next to me as I write this, staying over for the night.
You’re alive. You’re here posting this. You matter. Lean on people, ask for favors, be shameless. What do you have to lose when there is everything to be gained in what comes next for you?
I’ll leave you with a quote from *Paradise Lost:* ““The mind is its own place and, in itself can make a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven.”