Eylül 26, 2025
Akıl hastası annemden kaçmak için orduya katılmalı mıyım?
Ben 26F Brooklyn NY
Akıl hastası olan ve inkar eden ve yardım almak istemeyen annemle yaşıyorum. Paranoyak ve 84 yaşındaki büyükbabamın kira ve faturaları ödemesine yardımcı olmak istemiyor çünkü paranoyak ve onu gerçek babası olarak görmüyor ve onu öldürmek için dışarıda olduğunu düşünmüyor.
İkimiz de faturaları ödeyen ve dairede kiralayan ana kişi olan 84 yaşındaki büyükbabamla yaşıyoruz.
2021’de üniversiteden mezun oldum ama iş atlamıştım ve istikrarlı bir iş sürdürmedim çünkü depresyon ve kaygı sorunlarına neden olan hayatta ne yapacağımı (kararsız) karıştı.
Son zamanlarda kendi zihinsel akıl sağlığım için yaşam durumumdan kaçmak için orduya (ordu, hava kuvvetleri, denizciler, donanma vb.) Katılmayı düşündüm. Annemi yaşıyorum ama kendime yardım etmem gerekiyor. Dürüst olmak gerekirse orduya aşina değilim. Ama bunun gerçekten tek seçeneğim olduğunu hissediyorum
Ama yine de sorularım var… “fiziksel olarak uygun” olmam gerekiyor mu? Veya “savaşa gitmek gerekiyor mu”?
Lütfen bana tavsiye verin ve orduya katılmak için doğru karar verirsem bana karşı dürüst olun?
Etiketler:
I don’t know much about military, but even if you don’t live with your mom’s anymore, what will happen to your grandpa? I think your mom should be old enough to afford her own space. Try to talk to your grandpa to see if he can sell the house and go to an assisted living house for seniors when you go to the military.
This is the only way for your mom to learn how to take care of herself and stop feeding off of her dad’s and not be appreciative or contribute to the household bills.
Yes, you need to be physically fit. I wouldn’t do it just to escape your mom. Move out & get roommates, cut off contact with her.
Don’t join the military to ‘escape’ anything
Your eligibility can be determined by talking to a recruiter
There’s an old saying…. There are two reasons to join the military, you’re running from something, or looking for something.
When you join you need to be ‘healthy’ because you can be disqualified if you aren’t. If you are ‘out of shape’, basic training will get you ‘in shape’ – or at least better shape. You have to be able to pass the minimum physical tests to graduate from basic training or you will do it all over again. In some cases, you’re tested going in, and if you aren’t strong enough they’ll send you to basically ‘fat camp’ where you PT your ass off until you can pass and then go through boot camp. Keeping in mind, if you are in a hard start school (limited times it starts throughout the year) it can delay your getting to and/or through school or even have them assign you a new ‘job’.
If you are considering the military, I would highly suggest you start working to get in shape in advance, especially if you are thinking of being an officer (since you have a degree).
There are lots of benefits to joining the military, student loan deferment, GI Bill to pay for college, 0% down VA home loans, and a ton of other benefits. But there are lots of drawbacks as well, especially if you are in a physically demanding job, see action, or are serving in a forward area. People see things that haunt them for the rest of their lives… others join the military and never leave Alabama, doing basic, schooling, and are then stationed in the same state. And sometimes you’re in a place where you can’t get back when bad things happen – depending on your duty assignment and job.
I’d suggest addressing the underlying issues you have at home if at all possible and it sounds like your grandfather has it together for the most part, so maybe a discussion with him on what he thinks could be helpful. There may be job seeking assistance available through your state you can look into as well as other opportunities. And relocation may be an option as well – look for a job in a different city. I know that there are a ton of seasonal jobs available in Alaska for example and many national parks. That may be an opportunity to save up a bit and look for a way to relocate away from a bad situation.
to be clear: I’m not saying the military is the right choice, only that it has it’s pros and cons. Sometimes things are bad enough that it is a way out. Sometimes it’s a really bad choice and can feel like a prison sentence.
You don’t seem stable yourself even. I understand your mother isn’t stable but you’re a clear product of that as well. We don’t need anymore unstable people in the military.
> She paranoid and doesn’t want to help my 84 year old grandpa to pay the rent and bills because she’s paranoid and doesn’t see him as her real father and think he’s out to kill her.
Well, at that point it does not matter what your mom wants. She needs treatment. If someone is so paranoid that they are convinced someone else is out to kill them, I would argue they qualify as a danger to themselves or others.
Mainly others in this case.
> I live my mom but I need to help myself.
Then it would be best if you get her the treatment she needs. Preferably before she kills off grandpa.
Did I already mention that what your mom wants doesn’t matter at this point? This is why.
She thinks grandpa is out to kill her, it’s only a question of time before she takes the “sane” course of action in her distorted world and acts in “self defense”.
Military or not, I am afraid you really should get that sorted.
This sounds like an awful idea. Your indecisiveness isn’t going to magically disappear when you enlist, and once you sign your contract you’re stuck there, committed to Uncle Sam. You’ll do whatever he says, whenever he says it, whether you like it or not.
And yes, you need to be fit. Preferably before you even join, because they’re going to push you very hard in basic, to get you into shape. Lots of running, and pushups and other exercises. If you go in with some fitness and conditioning already, it won’t be as hard on you, but if exercise is a foreign concept for you… it’s not going to be pleasant.
You’ve gotta understand, when you join the military, you’re signing up to go to war, and they’re going to train you to be ready to go to war and be useful when you get there. It’s serious business.
If you genuinely love the idea of being a warrior, and you’re willing to put forth the dedication and commitment to succeed no matter how hard they push you, then it could be a life-changing, rewarding experience. But based on your post it sounds like you’d be absolutely miserable in the military.
That actually sounds like a great to way to get some experience, money, and independence. My brother was troubled and came out a changed man from the Navy.