The cum demon jerked me off while I slept last night

The morning was like any other; I start my day by ignoring my first two alarms and finally waking up at the 3rd. I then get out of bed to put some clothes on and head to the bathroom. As I sat down on the toilet and pulled down my undies I noticed that there was a mysterious substance on my underwear and all over the tip of my shlong. At first I thought it was snot; the substance was thick and sticky and for some reason kind of had a yellowish cream color to it, just like snot. There was also a stain in my bed right where my shlong rests. But why would there be snot on my shlong, I asked. No. It was not snot. It was cum.

I’ve been asexual for what feels like my whole life and NEVER ONCE have I jerked off before. In all my 16 years on this miserable rock we call earth, I’ve never even had the urge to masturbate or do any sexual activities. I find the naked human body(of both genders) disgusting and I don’t get why dudes find yitties attractive. Like bro- we all have tits, women just so happen to typically have larger ones. I don’t even like being touched affectionately; I don’t like hugs or holding hands with anyone. I would rather be punched in the face then hugged I’m not kidding. That is the extent of my asexuality; 100% asexual. I’m a volcel through and through.

I believe that this pure asexual energy must have attracted some kind of succubus to my domain. The day prior- my mom’s boyfriend(I don’t like him very much) cleaned the window in my bedroom. I believe that the window previously possessed some kind of holy god-like aura that kept me safe from demons. But now that the window was cleaned and the protector wiped off, I was no longer safe. At around 1:00am last night, my dog was sitting right by the slider door, staring intently at something in the backyard. He clearly saw a threat and was trying to warn me of its presence but when I opened the slider- there was nothing. Nothing I could see anyways. But I believe that it was the succubus; waiting for me to fall asleep so it could steal my valuable A-grade cum. 

Tonight I will be putting salt by my window to protect myself because I believe that was the succubus’s point of entry. I watched the TV show Supernatural a while back and I remember salt and silver being the weakness of most enemies the brothers encountered so hopefully the salt will keep me safe. I should probably start keeping a silver knife under my bed so that if I wake up while the succubus is jerking me off, I could grab it to defend myself. I will also be paying my dog with treats to warn me of any incoming dangers. To all the asexuals/volcels of this world- stay safe out there; there are cum demons trying to drain us of our powerful essence. Nobody is safe so stay on high alert and keep your balls tucked in.