Swans saved my life

I am thankful to be a Fantano sucsriber, just as I am thankful to be a Swans listener.

Yesterday my friend had a birthday party. As birthday prties go, the guests got drunk. We've been having some fun exploring each others' bodies when a sound ruined the silence. It was the alarm clock.

As I looked at my mobile phone, it showed that it's 2 AM and I need to go home. With that out of the way I embraced the normies and made my way out of the house to have a decent sleep at my place.

Unfortunately there was a forest trail I had to go through. Drunk (and possibly high, yet I'm not allowed to say it, cause weed is illegal in my country) I made my way through the path. Unfortunately, I heard disturbing sounds from the tree area. Quickly I realized I was surrounded by boars.

What could I do? I stood, panicking in silence. Then an idea struck me. I've read an article which told a story of a woman who scared the boars with Metallica's music.

Now, I'm no normy, so I wouldn;t play some mediocre metal band to a bunch of pigs. Therefore, I pulled out the real joker card – the cowboy hat mastermind, that is Swans (to be clear, the albums The Seer, the one with the scary lynx figure).

To my not so big surprise, the pigs escaped just as quickly as they appeared before my eyes. It was a miracle. Their muscular bodies could not hutr me anymore. I was as free as a wild pig.

Finally, I would like to shout out Swans' music. Their albums are truly distressing and you could not ignore it. Even if you are a braindead individual, such as a boar, you are able to feel its mean spirited nature. I love you Swans, I hope you succeed with the newet album.