Kasım 4, 2025
Nereye gitmeliyim?
Merhaba!
27 yaşındayım ve aslında mutlu olmalıyım. Tek başıma yarı müstakil bir ev kiralıyorum, yazılımcı olarak iyi para kazanıyorum, borcum yok ama yine de kendimi bir şekilde hissediyorum "boş."
Artık partnerim, çocuğum ve arkadaşım yok (gerçekten 0). Arkadaşlarımı az çok geride bırakmak zorunda kaldım çünkü maalesef 20’li yaşlarının sonunda akıllarında hala sadece partiler, alkol ve diğer uyuşturucular var. Bu yaşam tarzıyla özdeşleşemiyorum ve özdeşleşmek istemiyorum.
Neredeyse her gün orduya katılma ve özel kuvvetler birliğinin parçası olma fikri aklımdan geçiyor. Çünkü hayattan daha fazlasını istiyorum. Henüz 27 yaşındayım ve şimdiden tamamen sıkışmış hissediyorum.
Yaklaşık 6 aydır bir terapistle görüşüyorum ve şimdiden biraz iyileşme görebiliyorum. Ama bu boşluğu bir türlü dolduramıyorum.
Bu %100 çeyrek ömürlü bir kriz ama buna bir isim verebilsem de maalesef sorunun nasıl çözüleceğini bilmiyorum.
Benim için herhangi bir ipucun var mı?
Teşekkürler!
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Most people who feel fulfilled in their lives have a good *balance* of working, playing, and relaxing. I don’t see in your post anything about what you are doing for fun, several times a week. There are many activities that you can find to do that 1) are genuinely fun, and 2) in fact are conducive to getting to know people and making friends. Have you considered googling in your town:
Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, bingo, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing, on-line co-op gaming (Jackbox).
Don’t know what country you reside in, but only join the military if you are physically and mentally fit to do so.
It seems like you need to find a career purpose, or something bigger than yourself. Let me ask you this:
What movie or song makes you cry?
What kind of ‘sacrifice’ does that character make that makes you cry?
That sacrifice usually ties to your purpose; something bigger than yourself that makes life somehow more meaningful. Good luck!
Volunteer! I’m taking steps in improving my own sense of ‘emptiness’ and I joined a local Search & Rescue team. I get to learn new skills, meet new people, and give back.
Sorry you’re feeling this way. I think the lack of friendship with people who have similar values is likely contributing. Is there anywhere you could go in order to meet likeminded people who you could be friends with? Gym? A hobby? An outdoors club? A sport? Book club? Even a religious group of some kind? I know you are doing therapy. I personally preferred coaching to therapy as it helped me work towards specific goals (I felt like therapy was more of me talking rather than action steps). Happy to recommend a coach who works with people on finding their purpose if you want. Good luck. I think there are also a few books that could help you. Again, I can send you a chat if you want.