Israel Iran War
💣💦 BREAKING: GLOBAL DICKDOWN IN PROGRESS 🍆🌍 Iran 🇮🇷 and Israel 🇮🇱 just went from cold war 🥶 to cold raw 🍑 — and now EVERYBODY’S getting BLASTED harder than a 3-way with NATO 😩👬👬 and no safe word 🧯!!
Tehran pulled out their URANIUM THROBBER 🧨🍌 like “y’all want ENRICHMENT?” while Israel bent over the Iron Dome 🛡️🍑 like “hit it from the STRATEGIC DEPTH 💥 daddy 😏.” Now it’s just drone-on-drone action ✈️✈️ in the sky and deep bunker penetration 🏚️🔞 below.
🛢️ OIL is dripping 💦, SANCTIONS are slipping off like panties 🧨, and every diplomat is either fingering a trigger 🔫 or fisting Article 5 ✋💦💋 in a UN bathroom stall 🚽.
Uncle Sam 🇺🇸 is stroking his patriot missile launcher 🍆 like “YESSSS baby spread that conflict 💣 wide open for democracy 👅🗽💦.” Meanwhile Iran’s Supreme LEADER 😈 is getting SUPREMELY pegged 👑 with cyberattacks 💻 in between OIL-SOAKED backshots 🚿💥!!
Putin’s shirtless 🐻, watching the livestream 🎥 while riding a TANK 🚓 backwards into a sauna 🧖♂️ screaming “SLAV SQUADRA DEEP STRIKE 🧨💋!!”
And over in Gaza, it’s nothing but mutual shelling and mutual moaning 😩💥 as innocent civilians get DOUBLE PENETRATED 🕳️💣💦 by geopolitical foreplay AND international neglect 🧃🧎♀️.
The GLOBAL MARKET? 💸 Getting railed harder than a stockbroker on blow 🥵📉. Bitcoin just nutted 💰💦, and oil futures got licked 👅 by a sheikh in heat 🐫🍆!!
This ain’t war, baby—it’s a 4D, multi-theater, oil-slicked ORGY 💦🔥🍑 of vengeance, power, and nuclear edging 😩🍄🔞. And the only safe zone? The G-SPOT of GLOBAL DESTRUCTION 💋🌍💣
So GRAB YOUR GAS MASK 😷, LUBE UP 🍯, and get ready for the 🌪️ WETTEST, WILDEST WORLD WAR WHOREHOUSE 💦🔫 ever BROADCAST LIVE from the DICKSTRIKE ZONE 📺🍆🌋!!
Etiketler:
Well this is one while ride to read while high
What the hellyante
Wordington copypasta
Dude…