A day in the life of the average Star Wars fan

I'm a Star Wars fan and hate everything Star Wars related. Ten years ago got arrested for domestic violence (My children said they were excited for The Force Awakens). I was going to get let go for good behavior earlier but as was about to leave my cellmate said "Goodbye old friend, and may the force be with you' so obviously had to beat him up. just got out of prison yesterday and had to binge all the Star Wars content I missed and despised every single microsecond. Then I went my local bookstore, but when I saw a Star Wars book snapped and burned the entire place down. Then I met up with my old friend group, but they all said they unironically enjoyed Skeleton Crew so took out my pocket bazooka (I normally use it for children dressed up as Darth Vader for Halloween that have the nerve to knock on my door.) and blew them up. Then at my apartment's parking lot, I disconnected the brakes to a car with a Star Wars bumper sticker. Today I decided to cause the extinction of every species of ray because they remind me too much of Rey (tomorrow blow up the sun to prevent sun rays from getting to me). Then me and a friend drove to a Star Wars convention to insult every person there until we got kicked out. Unfortunately accidentally gave a death threat to the police chief for wearing a Poe Dameron costume and he remembered all of my previously mentioned crimes. We got into a car chase, but when my friend threw a grenade out the window it reminded me of the podrace scene so had to punch her in the face and jump out of the window. did manage to escape the police, and I decided to becomea hermit in the woods, but then I realized that was what Yoda did and turned myself in.