Aralık 19, 2025
26, hiç çalışmadım, başarısızlığın zirvesi
26 yaşındayım hiç bir iÅŸte çalışmadım, covid’de anksiyete ve depresyon tanısı konuldu, o zamandan beri ilaç kullanıyorum, test edilmiÅŸ IQ’m 125, dürtüm yok, amacım yok, motivasyonum yok, seçtiÄŸim kariyer alanı bilgisayar bilimi çünkü çocukluÄŸumdan beri bilgisayarlarla aram iyiydi, aynı konuda diplomam var ama gösterecek yeteneÄŸim yok, her konuda nihilistim, hayatta olmamın tek sebebinin sevdiÄŸim kiÅŸinin zihinsel durumunu etkilememek olduÄŸu konusunda net deÄŸilim, hayır intihara meyilli deÄŸilim ama baÅŸlayabilseydim daha iyi olurdu baÅŸka bir hayatta, biliÅŸsel olarak en az %70’in üzerinde puan almama raÄŸmen 12. 3 kez baÅŸarısız oldum, çünkü hiçbir ÅŸey öğrenmeye ya da yapmaya ilgim yoktu, hayatım bedenin arzularına ve kötü alışkanlıklarına tepki vermeye mahkum edildi, ailemden para almaktan utanıyorum, tüm arkadaÅŸlarım yurtdışında evlendi ya da bu doÄŸrultuda yaÅŸam kurumları var, kariyer açısından hiçbir ilgim yok ne yapacağımı bilmiyorum, vücudum zayıfladı 1 km bile bisiklete binemiyorum düz, belli nedenlerden dolayı kaçıp yeniden baÅŸlayamıyorum, kaçınılmaz ölümü bekliyormuÅŸum gibi geliyor ve bundan kurtulabilirim, en azından ailemi mutlu etmek ve kendim için bir ÅŸeyler yapmak istiyorum ama vizyonum yok ve görmeliyim
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Therapy sounds like a good option
My intuition tells me you got perfectionism and that’s what’s holding you back. You want the perfect job and if you don’t find the perfect job you don’t take action and procrastinate. You don’t need the perfect job at this stage. Get any job so you can learn financial responsibility, sometimes the first job you get has nothing to do with your dream career path, it’s a stepping stone. Act now or continue living like this. Don’t be a victim. The longer you wait the worse it becomes. Action will remove a lot of the negative emotions you are feeling.
Go work a retail job….get anything you can
I don’t think you want to change and your iq is a meaningless doomer number people in shitty situations use to justify that they are meant for more.
Lots of successful idiots out there.
Also sounds like you don’t actually want to do CS. You need to get out into the real world and be with people. Go get a retail job or something. Go find something away from rotting on your computer. Get therapy
do YOU want to change?
Change comes from consistency. Get out and walk every day for 10 mins. Just walk. In a few weeks when that becomes easy walk 20 mins. Just keep moving. Your body will start to release chemicals that make it feel good. As you increase the activity you will also mentally start feeling good. Build on that.
Was in a similar position as you just half a year ago, 24 y/o, CS graduate, had never found work after graduating in 2024, and after parents threatened to kick me out in January, I asked for advice in [this thread.](https://www.reddit.com/r/cscareerquestions/comments/1mz5e1c/m23_2024_cs_graduate_from_maryland_20706_still/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) Might want to look into some of the replies there cause although my situation isn’t 100% the same, there were plenty of helpful people.
In a reply I said I was gonna try and enlist for the Air Force. I tried, but I wasn’t fit enough. I settled with applying to be a carrier for the post office while working somewhere that would hire anyone with a pulse, in which I chose working for an Amazon DSP. This morning I just went to the DSP for my final paycheck, and I’m in driver training with the post office next week. I plan on moving to the city the job is in, living below my means, and investing aggressively so I can retire comfortably before I turn 50.
That wasn’t me trying to brag, it’s me trying to say: you gotta start somewhere no matter what it is, even if shit hits the fan with your degree. This economy is so unbelievably competitive for CS majors right now, and it didn’t help that I didn’t actually like programming, I’m just tech-savvy and love video games lol. It took me a year of bumming around in my parents’ house to get up, but I got up.
I’m not a social person so delivery jobs like DoorDash, Amazon and the Post Office, are preferable for me compared to being a clerk or cashier at a retail job. Do research on what’s available in your area and swallow your pride. Following your passion in this economy is fucked. A job is a job. Take things one day at a time.
small actions compound like a snowball, good or bad keep goin