The anti-shitting movement

I swear yo, I'm not on drugs to make this post, listen up. I think there's a conspiracy against the physiological act of taking a shit.

I might sound a bit like someone who smoked spoiled crack but hear me out.

My ex-nazi friend, every time I went to his house, prohibited me from taking a shit there, why? Because he didn't sat in nobody's house. Seriously, the motherfucker was so demented that no friend of his could take a shit in his house, the only option was going out of his house and go to some random place just to do it.

At work, I need to be extra stealthy just to a shit, and my colleagues can hear me through the weak-as-hell walls so I can't shit for 5 hours straight.

See? Why taking a shit is so wrong? Why?! Bro.

Yo, and I don't understand women too. "Oh, it's so unattractive when he farts near me." What? You don't fart? What the hell is this?