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DAD: Son, now that you are 18 there's something you should know. The men of our family don't reproduce like other men. We evolve. I am not your father. Your father is your uncle Robert. I am your mother.

MOM: Your mother has been a wonderful girlfriend to me, and I love you like a son. When your digestive system becomes a reproductive system, I hope that you can find a woman to take care of you. Maybe an older woman.