Ekim 29, 2025
Yanlış yolu seçmekten korkan, son derece mükemmeliyetçi bir kişilik.
25 yaşındayım ve çok mükemmeliyetçiyim. Bu, ne kadar iyi olursa olsun bir plan yaparsam, onu fazla düşünmeye ve alternatifler düşünmeye devam edeceğim anlamına gelir.
Bu, eğer harika bir işim varsa, işimden ve maaşımdan keyif alabilirim ama büyük bir yanım her zaman bu konuyu fazla düşünmeye devam edecek demektir. "Daha iyi işler olmalı o yüzden bu işi bırakıp daha iyi bir iş aramalıyım"
Beni kapatabilecek tek koşul "daha iyi bir şey ara" zaten mümkün olan en iyi şeyi yaptığımın bilgisidir. Örneğin, mümkün olan en iyi stratejinin bilindiği çözülmüş bir oyun oynarsam, stratejimi fazla düşünmeden mutlu bir şekilde oynarım çünkü daha iyi bir stratejinin mümkün olmadığını biliyorum. Doğru şeyi doğru yaptığımı biliyorum bu yüzden mutlu hissediyorum.
Bir şeyi çok iyi yapıyorsam ama mümkün olduğu kadar iyi değilsem, o zaman mutlu değil, hüsrana uğramış hissederim. Gelişmeye o kadar aç ki bu durum tükenmişliğe yol açıyor.
İlgisiz bir diğer zorluk da neredeyse her şeyin beni ilgilendirmesidir. Muhtemelen ilgimi çeken binlerce farklı iş var, dolayısıyla eleme sürecine girsem bile hayalimdeki işi bu şekilde bulamayacağım.
3 seçenek görüyorum ve 3 sorun öngörüyorum: 1. Derece gerektirmeyen işlere başvurun -> tatminsiz kalma ve daha sonra bu işleri bırakma ve şu anda içinde bulunduğum duruma geri dönme olasılığı çok yüksek 2. Bir şey çalışın -> hiçbir zaman çalışmayacağım bir şey üzerinde çalışarak zamanımı ve enerjimi kısmen boşa harcamam oldukça büyük bir risk. 3. Hiçbir şey yapmayın (ki şu anda varsayılanım) -> ilerleme yok
3 seçeneğin hepsi kötü. Zehrini seç. Keşke ben de çocukken hayallerindeki işin ne olduğunu anında bilen ve yetişkin olarak da bu işin peşinden giden insanlar gibi olabilseydim. Birinin trenlere takıntılı olması ve sonra trenlerde iş bulması gibi basit bir şey.
Daha iyi alternatiflerin olup olmadığını sürekli olarak düşünmediğim bir işe girmenin mümkün bir yolunu göremiyorum.
Benim için sonuçta bir iş bulmanın ve 7/24 fazla düşünmemenin iyi yolları nelerdir? "bu işi bırakıp daha iyi bir iş mi bulmalıyım"
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Breathe. I used to think like you, and it was very stressful. There is no wrong path as long as you do your best. Getting the perfect game ending isn’t the same a living life. You are suppose to try different things and see what you like and don’t like. That’s what your 20s are for. Most people do pivot to different paths later in life, it’s not that they were on the wrong path, just ready for the next chapter or challenge. Pick something that interest you and give it a go. Try a meyers Briggs personality test to learn more about yourself and get ideas on what might interest you. Between that and knowing your values, you take a step forward, giving your best. You got this!
Wooooo, chill. Take a breath. You’re even overthinking the overthinking!
You need to pause and enjoy where you are right now. You can’t control everything, not even most things, and there’s no way to ever find the perfect sequence to life. Chasing perfection just leads to paralysis and frustration.
Ironically, trying to make the perfect move often produces mediocrity through inaction.
Instead, try reframing your mindset. Focus on taking steady, good enough steps that align with your values and give your future self more options.
Looking at your 1, 2, 3 list, option 2 seems to open up the most possibilities. Within that, you can still choose what to study and where. I’d avoid programs that are overly specific and try not to take on much debt, as both can restrict your future choices.
That approach gives you flexibility. From there, you can think about what makes sense for your happiness today, maybe being near family, friends, or a partner. Then pick programs that support your long-term wellbeing without undermining your present quality of life.
You’ll learn as you go: what fits you, what doesn’t, what might work if certain conditions change. Each step gives you more data to make the next good enough move.
And that’s really the process, repeat as you go.
There is no best possible choice because our knowledge is incomplete and random events outside of our control are a huge factor. Every choice is a compromise and a guess.
Not what you want to hear, but life is a ride and you don’t know where it’s going. As Mike Tyson said, “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face”. Part of the adventure of life is responding to the unexpected developments, both good and bad.
If you really need this itch scratched of perfectionism, the easiest way is to just defer this analysis to an AI assistant. Sharing all your thoughts/ideas/knowledge, & using video/camera for physical related stuff(AI glasses) , or sharing your desktop screenshot for more knowledge based tasks you do on your computer. Because they now offer a workable memory that can keep track of so many different things that you’ve mentioned now and in the past it can do a lot of the complex analysis and finding the optimal most efficient solution. The more data you provide about yourself the better and more personal its recommendations become. If your checking it’s results finds that it is accurately assessing things then you can gradually built confidence that it’s reasoning is sound and then you can let go a lot of the excess optimizing/analysis so you don’t get bogged down and focus more on doing things. The nice thing is that it can usually offer insights direction that would have taken you infinite time to reach and you can piggy back off of it to take it to an even higher level. Then it would be hard not to be satisfied you are doing everything possible in comparison to others. Find tasks/activities you can simply learn by doing that are not high stakes and safe to fail or make mistakes and go to town and find your own self employment by being useful/valuable to others. Producing enough tangible results above 95% of the competition will almost always lead a real job eventually. If you run an AI with the sharing of internal thoughts and complete reasoning turned on it is an eye opener that maybe your perfectionism and analytical mind is closer to AI then you realize.
There is no perfect plan. We can only devise, adapt and change as time progresses or factors derailing it necessitating another detour. And we make mistakes, only to correct them in the next plan.
Check out HealthyGamerGG’s videos on Puer Aeternus, he explains this kind of mentality there and how to get out of it.
I am in the same boat. I cant stop worrying about what to major in, if whatever major I go into will pay me enough to survive and if the major I choose will be affected by Ai/offshoring. I pretty much spend all day almost everyday doing this and it’s gotten so bad that it’s very hard for me to focus on the classes I am currently enrolled in. I guess I wrote this to let you know that you are not alone, I am 23 and feel that my life is almost over