Will I be disqualified? (2 days late, sorry)
It was going well, I was analysing Macbeth like a good little boy, when suddenly i randomly remembered the quote “unsex me here” as I looked at part b and it hit me DIFFERENT. I don’t know what happened — my legs started vibrating, my pen combusted, and I let out a noise so guttural that three pigeons outside died instantly.
I looked at the extract of the witches they included and my primal instincts took over, I whipped it out and started going feral on the desk like a prehistoric beast. The invigilators tried to stop me but I screamed “OUT DAMNED SPOT” and bit one of their arms off clean
At that moment I achieved enlightenment. I saw every theme, every metaphor, every GCSE mark scheme from 2016 to 2098. I wrote a 48-mark response with my toes while I floated mid-air, my penis whipping around like a helicopter, squirting everywhere as students cowered.
After I nutted, I apologised and tried to go back to question 4 but my paper had caught fire and turned into a small ferret. The head invigilator said I might not get full marks because I didn’t use quotations properly.
Will Edexcel consider this as mitigating circumstances or am I getting a U?
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