The Sun is a capitalist construct

You people still believe in the sun? The literal ball of fire in the sky? The one that “rises” and “sets” conveniently in sync with your 9-to-5 work schedule? Wake up. The sun isn’t a celestial body—it’s a corporate entity. A flaming orb of propaganda. A capitalist psyop designed to keep you productive.

You think it’s a coincidence that you can’t sleep when it’s out? That your “energy levels” are tied to “daylight”? Nah. That’s biological union-busting. The sun owns your circadian rhythm. It’s out here charging you rent in the form of vitamin D deficiency and sunburns. “Wear sunscreen,” they say. Oh yeah, let me just buy sun protection to defend myself from a star I never consented to be under.

And don’t even start with “solar power is green energy.” You’re literally monetizing the sky. The sun shines for free and somehow I still have to pay an electric bill. Plants photosynthesize for exposure. They’re the unpaid interns of Big Light™.

Meanwhile the moon’s just chilling, working the night shift for zero recognition. No heat, no ego, no capitalism. The moon doesn’t demand productivity—it invites reflection. But you clowns worship the sun like it’s not the CEO of your entire sleep cycle.

The sun doesn’t rise. It clocks in.