Super Mario 64 Bob-omb Battlefield 255 coins poem

I'll tell you the tale of an odd little fellow

He was obsessed with coins, particularly yellow

He collected the coins in Bob-omb Battlefield

First, breaking the cork boxes for the coins they concealed

A bob-omb then followed Mario, but suddenly died

Mario was surprised by the coin stored inside

So off to each bob-omb, Mario quickly went

Cruelly ridding it of its one and only cent

"What are you doing?!" the bob-ombs would shout

"There's a coin inside you, which I must get out!"

But then Mario hit a koopa, swelling his aggression

"I'll teach you!" Mario said, stealing its one possession

"Hey! That's mine!" the koopa began to yell

But then Mario just slayed it, using its own shell

Then off to each goomba, Mario went with haste

Brutally striking them, leaving them defaced

The goombas pleaded and begged, but Mario didn't care

He continued to slay them; none did he spare

But now that each of the goombas was dead

Mario began to collect the coins that were red

Surprisingly, the red coins, although similar in girth,

Were equal to twice the yellow coins' worth

Then Mario looked up, noticing several coins in the sky

Eager to collect them, Mario began to fly

Through each and every ring Mario bravely flew

There was not a single coin that he did not pursue

He got them strategically, as he flew through the air

He soon got them all, the sky now left bare

He then noticed some peculiar posts on the ground

Their purpose made clear as Mario ran around

Mario collected the coins from each of the four

However, he soon realized there was yet one more

This one was much different from the others he's utilized

For attached was a beast who had him greatly outsized

Skilled at maneuvering, around the beast Mario weaved

As unlikely as it seemed, the coins were retrieved

Then Mario went on and continued his duty

Stripping the landscape of its natural beauty

No more shiny coins, glittering with light

Only a barren landscape – a dreary sight

In his coin collecting skills, Mario took great pride

But upon reaching the last coins, he was not satisfied

There were only 8 coins left, as Mario saw

Such a devastating site left him in awe

But the on Mario a brilliant idea struck

He could create more coins, with a tiny bit of luck

Off to a bob-omb, Mario gallantly strode

And managed to grab it as it began to explode

"What are you doing?!" cried the bob-omb, with its final breath

"Creating more coins, at the cost of your death"

The bob-omb's body, although horribly deformed,

Proved useful to Mario, since it transformed

"A yellow coin!" Mario shouted. "I've done it at last!"

And this coin cloning scheme caught on fast

Completion, just 8 coins away, was now greatly postponed

Since Mario was now able to get coins that were cloned

So consumed was Mario with a passion of greed

That the course's 146 coin limit, he did exceed

Yet another factor for which he felt no remorse

Was the burden his coin-cloning had had on the course

Cloned coins, unlike real ones, do not spin and glitter

They rest motionless on the course, like nasty litter

Once thrown, these coins cannot be taken away

They are glued to their spots, eternally on display

Yet Mario pushed on, thereby transforming the terrain

From a beautiful hillside to a land profane

The bob-ombs being used were also in pain

Being unjustly killed just for Mario's gain

Dozens of bob-ombs, their lives lost in this fashion

To the cruel, heartless man, devoid of compassion

Could he not see the error of his way?

Unknowing was he that his path was astray?

And if I may ask, what was all this for?

Just the childish goal of a really high score?

But O, at what an expensive cost!

Forged coins, slowed frame rate and many lives lost

But at last, I digress; let's get back to the story

Of the cruel, heartless man, who was blinded in glory

His coin record soared to numbers unknown

Mario did not care; he continued to clone

The game itself felt the burden as well:

With so many coins, the frame rate fell

This even caused Mario's progress to slow

But would this stop him? Not at all so

With so many coins, giving one point each,

The 255 limit became within reach

Why's this the limit? The answer's quite plain:

It's the highest coin score the game can maintain

The end to his madness was finally clear

It would end quite soon, for 255 drew near

At long last: the final clone! What blessed relief!

Mario would soon leave, letting the bob-ombs cope with their grief

He collected the last 8, obtaining the perfect score

His mad coin-cloning spree could go on no more

His goal was fulfilled, but at such a hassle

With nothing left to gain, he would return to the castle

But no one would forget the legacy he'd wrought:

The numerous deaths of the bob-ombs he had fought;

The dozens of coins he had left on the ground;

And the ever slow frame rate by which all inhabitants were now bound

Mario then got a star, and escaped from this horror

All he really cared about was the game's coin scorer

The counter rose greatly, as his effort would suggest

It stopped on 255, the number that's best

Mario accomplished his goal, but to no such avail

That's all I can say; this is the end of my tale