Aralık 9, 2025
Ben tam bir başarısızım
Başlık her şeyi açıklıyor, 22 yaşındayım ve bu ay Muhasebe alanında lisans derecesiyle mezun olmak üzereyim. Bu diplomayı almak için 18 yaşımdayken evden taşındım. Herhangi bir öğrenci borcu biriktirmek istemedim, bu yüzden okulda olduğum süre boyunca her şeyi ödemek için 2 işte çalıştım. Bu yüzden üniversitede hiç arkadaş edinemedim, hiçbir partiye gidemedim ve berbat bir not ortalamam vardı. Sınıfımdaki herkesin eğlendiğini gördüm ve şimdi hepsi küresel firmalarda iş buldular ve muhtemelen hayatlarında çok başarılı olacaklar, oysa ben sadece şehrimdeki küçük bir firmada iş bulabildim. Her zaman çok hırslıydım ve hedefim 30-35 yaşlarında CEO veya CFO olmaktı ve bunun artık asla gerçekleşmeyeceğini biliyorum.
Ben hayatı olmayan, arkadaşı olmayan, 16-19 yaşlarında sadece bir kızla çıkan ve zaman ayıramadığım için beni aldatan, son 3 yılda çıkma teklif ettiğim 4 kişi tarafından reddedilen, 19 yaşında steroid alıp büyümüş biriyim ama bu yüzümün ne kadar itici olduğunu, kişiliğimin ve özgüvenimin olmadığını, hiçbir yere seyahat edemediğimi (burada bulunduğum 4 yıl boyunca bu şehri hiç terk etmedim) ve artık bir geleceği yok ve çevremde benim yaşımdaki insanların birden fazla ülkeye gittiğini, ilişkilerde başarılı olduğunu, büyük şirketlerde staj yaptığını ve yüksek lisans derecesi almak için dünyayı dolaştığını görmek daha da acı veriyor. Kendimden nefret ediyorum, keşke eğitimimi alırken hiç taşınmasaydım, ailemin yanında kalmasaydım da en azından bir kariyer sahibi olabilseydim. Tamamen berbat durumdayım ve artık ne yapacağımı bilmiyorum. Gözlerimi oymak istiyorum çünkü tüm hayatımı ve tüm planlarımı mahvettim ve artık sonsuza kadar bununla yaşamak zorundayım. Gelecek hafta son finalim var ve her şeyi nasıl mahvettiğimi düşünmeden duramadığım için kendimi çalışmaya ikna edemiyorum. Hayatta kendimi çok geride hissediyorum ve bu şekilde hissetmekten nefret ediyorum, bunun hakkında konuşacak kimsem yok bu yüzden bu uzun yazı için özür dilerim.
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What exactly was the fuck up? You graduated with a great degree and no debt. Women will enter you life over time. Friends happen organically.
I WISH I had a useful degree. I wish I had no debt.
You ain’t fuck up anything, you’re life just started. Welcome!
I understand you feeling like you’re missing out on your 20s, but honestly after college it’s not so different from high school in the sense that everyone moves on with their lives and adult responsibilities. The people who had to time to party and screw around and still landed big jobs didn’t have to grind like you to get where they are, and that’s just sheer luck on their part. Getting an accounting degree and getting a job at any firm at 22 is a huge accomplishment especially because you did it all yourself. You will have the economic freedom at your new job and PTO to get out and do things, travel and explore your hobbies, so really this is a new start and all your hard work is about to pay off. Don’t get so down on yourself!
Useful degree and no debt? Bro, you’re ahead. You’re only 22, you have SO MUCH TIME. Start out at the small firm, gain some experience then apply to bigger firms, if that’s what you want. You can use vacation time to travel. Try the apps to meet a girl. Get invested in a hobby to make some new friends. Maybe consider some counselling too.
I’m in accounting too, and I also worked in college and didn’t make any friends, and honestly it was SO worth it to graduate with no debt. I made tons of friends after college through work and other activities and then was able to buy a house in my late 20s because I had no debt.
Just scroll through r/accounting for awhile and you will see how overrated Big 4 jobs are. So many people get burned out and depressed working at those huge firms. Small firms can be great. Ideally you will have better mentorship and work-life balance so you can actually start making friends now. And if the small firm isn’t great, you will probably be getting a wider range of experience there that you can leverage into another job in a couple of years.
Start getting involved in some hobbies/activities where you can meet other people in your area now, or get on the dating apps if that’s your thing. I know some people have a ton of fun in college, but that was not my experience and tbh things got way better once I graduated and started my career.
You’re 22 man. Be grateful you have a job out of college bc a lot of recent graduates are struggling.
Stay at your job for at least a year to build experience and connect with your coworkers who can become potential friends. You will find more opportunities eventually, don’t stress.
Keep hitting the gym and take your time to reassess your appearance(different haircut, skincare routine, better wardrobe, etc.) I didn’t get into a 2nd relationship until I was halfway through being 22. You got plenty of time.
Others are probably going to weigh in with better words but I just wanted to write and advise you to give yourself a break. You’re doing very well – you’re about to graduate with a degree in accounting that you paid for yourself?? That’s amazing! Most people are mooches who get a degree on their parents dime, but you did it yourself, and have no debt!! As for others getting great jobs and traveling… do not compare yourself to others that way. Everyone has their own path, and you can’t let others’ good fortune eat you up. Sometimes you need to be grateful with what you have, which is a lot: a job in your field, right after graduating!?! Stupendous!!!
As for being CEO by 35…. Young man, no one gets to call their shots like that. Being a c-suite exec at a firm is a one in a million shot, and honestly there are a million reasons why that may or may not happen for you.
Stop being so down on yourself. You are very young and off to a great start. Just keep focused and working hard and you will absolutely be successful. However, if you let your self-loathing get the best of you, it will sabotage everything. It undermines your confidence and this is the number one key to success. You need to stay positive and not let your ambition make you feel like you are constantly behind.
You are not a failure and you will look back at this and appreciate all you’ve done! <3 One step at a time.
You’re at a great starting point ngl. You’ll see if that way eventually once you get over the hump you’re at right now
get up over and over and over and over again. find beauty in failure and in the suffering. if you do this instead of complaining, you’ll be fine.
if you want to know how “successful” your friends are gonna be at these big firms, go over to Big4 channel and look for yourself how miserable most people working at these big firms are. don’t let the glamour blind you. these places are not what they’re cracked up to be. you can make your own way in life as long as you stay consistent and never ever quit trying.
Time for therapy , because nobody will save you but yourself mate
As some who graduated in June at 29yo supply chain degree, I think you’re light years ahead of me. You’re not doing that bad. I was a failed accounting major and I know how tough that shit can be.
Forgive yourself. Rejection in life happens. There’s plenty of fish out there.
bruh just remember they’re is at least 500 million people in third world countries the wish they were you’re in exact scenario and wish they had your problems. once you start thinking like that, it’s easier to have appreciation for your life. Gratitude is the simplest answer when you feel low on yourself
Congrats because you have a job. Not all big 4 will succeed. Life is not a race. It doesn’t mean you’re not in big4=will fail. No. Your anxiety is speaking, not you. You have to manage that voice by speakjng with mental health professionals because i see that it’s not healthy for you
You’ll never feel like “your life is over” more than in your 20’s. You can still have all of that! You’re comparing apples to oranges here, those people who were having fun and looked carefree probably had massive debt or parents paying for everything. Good things: you have a degree, you have a job, you’re only 22. Focus on what you want and the way to get it not on the last four years. It’s okay to be angry because things didn’t turn out the way you wanted to during college but it’s not okay to waste the rest of your life miserable because they didn’t.
Dawg you’re fine
22 and a failure what has life come to? Honestly you probably won’t have many friends by the time you’re in your 30’s. I just don’t understand you’ve already had forms of success but now you’re trapped in FOMO land. Work on your health man, no one wants to be friends with someone who doesn’t even know themselves. I speak from experience except in my case my old shitty job that took my life also took my hearing.
You are being too hard on yourself. I don’t think you failed. I think you learned a lot of lessons most people don’t learn in college and that hard work and lessons will serve you well. Also, you should be very proud that you have a job. This economy is terrible. Also, a small firm doesn’t mean a worse job. It often means you have more chances to learn because you are trusted with more responsibility. You can still be CEO or CFO by 30-35. You are only 22 you have your whole life ahead of you. Trust me the people who landed jobs at global firms will most likely hate their jobs or leave after two years. People getting masters degrees are probably just trying to escape the real world for longer. No one is doing better than you trust me the grass is always greener on the other side until you are in the other side. Also, you are only 22. The fact that you lived away from home and worked two jobs and went to school is actually very impressive. Also don’t worry about girls. The right one will love you for who you are. Right now just focus on loving yourself because you are far too mean to yourself. Congrats on graduating you have a bright future ahead!
I don’t know,.. you sound pretty normal to me