Ocak 1, 2026
30 yaşındayım, hayatım çoktan bitmiş gibi hissediyorum, gerçekten adım adım ilerlemeye ihtiyacım var çünkü insanlar spesifik olmazsa ne yapacağımı bilmiyorum
OKB’m, anksiyetem ve depresyonum var, ailemle yaşıyorum ve yarı zamanlı bir bakkalda çalışıyorum, yakınlarda hiç arkadaşım yok, ilişkim yok, arabam yok ve araba kullanma konusunda endişelerim var, bu yüzden hemen bir tane satın almak kolay değil.
Biriktirdiğim para var ama kendi başıma yaşamaya yetmiyor gibi geliyor ama ailemin yanında sıkışıp kaldığım için giderek çaresizleşiyorum ve hüsrana uğruyorum, saçımı bile tek başıma kestiremiyorum çünkü beni oraya götürmelerine ihtiyacım var.
Kendi başıma hiçbir şey yapma yeteneğim yok, kelimenin tam anlamıyla sadece işte ya da odamda var oluyorum ve bu o kadar boş ki boşa geçen onca yıl için beni ağlatıyor, sanki “genç yetişkinin kendi başına yaşaması ve bağımsız olmayı öğrenmesi” deneyimini asla yaşayamayacağım gibi hissediyorum.
Her gün hiçbir ilerleme olmadan boşa gidiyor çünkü kendimi kapana kısılmış hissediyorum, eğer taşınmak istiyorsam yeni bir işe ihtiyacım var, yeni bir işe ihtiyacım varsa, bir arabaya ihtiyacım var, bir arabaya ihtiyacım varsa pratik yapmalı ve yeniden rahat bir şekilde araba sürmeye ihtiyacım var.
Bunun gibi döngülere takılıp kalıyorum ve asla hiçbir şey başaramıyorum.
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Bro once today is gone you’ll never see it again same thing applies to the days gone and coming.I looked back at my old snap videos and saw how happy I was back then then it made me happy.Do you want to look back at your life and be happy or sad? What are you willing to do today that will make your future self proud of you?When you look deeply nobody cares everyone one is busy solving their own problems just like how you’re tryna find solutions to yours.Once you’re born a human being it’s mandatory for you to feel fear,doubt anger etc but once you make your feelings your identity then you’re doomed.Am 22 but I think you’re the (creator) of your own life.I tried fighting my feelings for a long time now and I’ve learnt that you can’t do anything about them but you change your thoughts.Ask yourself this one question who are you living your life for ? If you figure out that it’s your life then You’ll have to make it the way you want it not the way you feel it hope this helps a bit.Stay strong bro you’ve got this 💪
Get driving lessons brother. Find a kind instructor or a place that has great reviews. Step by step you will get past that phobia. But you have to take action. Only you can do it. Even if you don’t have a job you will still have to capability to drive anywhere you want. That will help give you a bit of freedom.
I should have mentioned I dropped out of college after three years so I don’t have a bachelor’s degree
Your main problem is not driving. Unless you’re lucky enough to live somewhere with public transportation and just didn’t mention it. But I’ll assume you’re an American living somewhere driving is the only way to get places. In that case, not being able to drive keeps you a prisoner like a child. If you want a normal adult life, you absolutely have to learn to drive.
Do you have a drivers license? If not, get a learners permit. Then practice driving with a parent in the passenger seat. Whenever they’d drive you somewhere, ask to do the driving. If they’re about to go to the store, ask to go with them and drive. If you explain that you want to learn so you can get a car and a better job and move out, they might be willing to take you on long practice drives sometimes.
Once you’re mostly comfortable driving and have enough driving hours if your state requires that, get a drivers license. Then buy a decent used car. If you have savings, perfect. If not, get a loan you can afford on your current wages.
Then get a new job. Aim for full time with benefits. If you can’t find one like that, look for a part time job that pays better and/or that you can schedule around your current job so you can do both. Save as much money as you can.
Then look for an apartment. With proof of income and a security deposit, you should be able to rent one without a co-signer. You could also look for ads for roommates.
One more thing. If you already have a license and just don’t feel comfortable driving, try doing it anyway. Sometimes in life you have to do things you’re not 100% comfortable with. Imagine if you absolutely had to drive to survive. Would you find a way to do it? Then you can find a way to do it now.
Get a phone holder so you can use your phone as a gps easily. Plot out your route ahead of time, avoiding highways and any other challenges whenever you can. Leave very early so there’s no time pressure. And then just do it. You might be horribly anxious the first few times you drive, but you would quickly get used to it. Once you practice regularly you’ll become more skilled and eventually you’ll be a normal driver.
“Had a mental breakdown and stayed in my room for months”
I’m not a mental health professional but it sounds like you need to talk to one.
Also what do your parents (presumably the people who know you the best) think you should do?
You’re not behind, you’re stuck in overwhelm. Pick one tiny, boring next step and repeat it. Try a daily 20 minute walk without music, just to build tolerance for discomfort. Then add a 10 minute driving exposure in an empty lot with a trusted person, same time each week. Book one therapy session focused on ERP for OCD, even telehealth. For work, aim for something remote so the car isn’t the blocker, wfhalert emails verified remote jobs like customer support or data entry so you can apply without the usual scam or ghost job mess. Set a weekly checklist you can actually finish, three items max, like apply to two roles, one driving session, one admin task. Stack small wins for a month, then re evaluate. You don’t need the whole plan, just the next brick.
We are cooked my guy.