Kasım 4, 2025
25F Bir bebeğim var ve bütün köprülerimi yaktım
Burada yargılama aramıyorum çünkü kendimi yeterince yargılıyorum. Psikoloji diplomam var ama hiçbir zaman yüksek lisansa gitmedim çünkü ne yapmak istediğimi çözemedim ve kariyer yolumdan emin olmadığım sürece borca girmek istemedim. Sonunda sosyal hizmet alanında bir iş buldum ama bundan nefret ettim ve 4 ay sonra istifa ettim. O kadar tükenmiştim ki 2 hafta bile süre vermedim, o gün öylece gittim. Bunu yapacak kadar aptaldım ve bunun için sürekli kendimi hırpalıyordum. Artık beni tavsiye etmelerinin imkanı yok. Daha sonra birkaç ay temizlikçi olarak çalıştım ama hamile kaldım ve artık bunu yapamıyordum. Bebeğim şu an 3 aylık ve onu çok seviyorum. Kocam çalışıyor ve bizi destekliyor ama başarısız olduğumu hissediyorum, tavsiyem yok ve kariyerim yok. Potansiyelimi boşa harcadığımı hissediyorum. Üniversiteden hemen sonra evlendim ve tek bir şirkette bir yıl bile çalışmadım. Çalışırken gerçekten çok çalışıyorum ama çabuk tükeniyorum. Sadece tavsiyeye ihtiyacım var çünkü ne yapmak istediğimi asla çözememekten korkuyorum. lütfen yardım edin
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Try something part time, maybe being a hostess at a restaurant, and see if you can maintain the hours and consistently perform without burning out
Hi,
Yes, I get it. Feeling like you’re cornered and there’s no other option.
But the truth is, I think you’re a bit too hard on yourself. If I were you, I’d focus on raising your baby first–it’s a full time itself. Don’t stress too much.. Because your baby can sense your stress, which might not help the both of you long-term. To dampen your stress, reflect and jot down on the things you can control vs of those you can and create mental boundaries. And right now, it seems the things you can’t control is having a full time career. So, even before you apply for jobs, just remind yourself: one-thing-at-a-time it. Focus on being a good mother, then being a good wife, a good person, then, it’s the right time to actually looking for jobs again. Remember, one thing at a time.
And honestly, being a good mother and a good wife is so underrated at this age. So, let’s aim and maintain for that now.
In the meantime, I would look into supplement family income only as a part-time basis (like baby sitter, dog sitter and/or walker, etc.) only. There’s time to think about your future full-time, and now is not it.
I mean you are young, so live and learn, next time you won’t be as impulsive. In the meantime, look for a job that doesn’t require a recommendation from your previous job.
When you start a new position, never give 100% right away. It will set the standard at 100, then when management wants to ask more of you they are now asking for 120%, which is how people get burned out. If you had started at 60%, then the more demanding work you might get down the line will only take up 80% of your effort.
I worked a trade at 120% for years, and left with multiple thousands in medical debt from OTJ injuries. Seriously, don’t commit everything to a new job right away – let them prove to you that they are worth working for.
Also, worth mentioning that there are plenty of careers waiting for someone to take them. If you have the patience to work your way up, I personally know Store Directors at grocery stores who can easily make 100k/year salaried, plus benefits, plus bonus incentives. Hell, I even know bakery or delicatessen managers raking in 75k/year with the same benefits package and retirement options. Also worth mentioning that a grocery chain would literally hire anyone with a pulse who walked in the door.
Just an example, but there is absolutely no shame in working whatever job you can just to bring home some bread. I served my sentence in retail, and was able to afford a career transition because of it later.
It’s time to apply to any jobs: Fast food, retail, bartending, housekeeping, babysitting, ….
You can enroll in college for your master’s degree as a part time student and there are many healthcare and STEM field that you can get into.
Unfortunately, you don’t have much choices ahead of you since you now have a kid to care for. Working and studying simultaneously should be a must whether you will be doing both on a part time or full-time basis. You don’t want to be stranded anymore if your husband can no longer provide for you and her.
Good luck!
Trust me I get how you feel. I got married in college had a baby and struggled with mental health. I bounced around a couple jobs and did extremely well but would leave because of my issues. I think balance is key. I got my nursing degree and now I am here. I finally decided on the position I want and then got it. I am going to stay here for a whole year. Quitting is not an option so I have out that out of my mind. You have to change your mentality and that is what it really comes down to.
You sounds exactly like me. I’m due to give birth here soon and I wanted to go back to school for a master but no real path so I decided not to waste my money. After the baby gets bigger I am looking to start watching another family’s kids around the same age or a bit older. Daycare is extremely expensive right now and offering care at a reduced price is sure to bring someone along. You could do that if you are a SAHM now and if you like it you can get licensed to care for multiple families. You could also offer “nanny” services and make sure the family is okay with you bringing your child along as well and care for them in the clients home.