Büyük bir yaşam başarısızlığından sonra kendinizi nasıl affedebilirsiniz ve devam edersiniz?

Herkese selam. Büyük bir kişisel başarısızlıktan sonra devam etmek için gerçekten mücadele ediyorum ve bazı tavsiyelere ihtiyacım var.

Aslen Kanada’danım birkaç yıldır Japonya’da yaşıyor ve çalışıyordu. İşe gerçekten hayran kaldım ve Japonya’da yaşamaktan zevk aldım. Ancak, kaygım dairemden ayrılamama noktasına kadar korkunç bir şekilde kötüleşti. Ailem ve destek sistemimin olduğu Kanada’ya geri dönmenin en iyisi olduğuna karar verdim. Bu yaklaşık bir yıl önceydi.

Kanada’ya geri dönmek cehennem oldu. Hala Japonya’dan ayrıldığım ve gerçekten keyif aldığım bir işten ayrıldığım için kendimi sürekli dövüyorum. Kendime ve aptal beynime çok kızgınım.

Bundan nasıl devam edebilirim? Kendimi nasıl affedebilirim?

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2 Yorum

  1. Potential-Lion-3522
    Ağustos 5, 2025 - 7:52 pm

    Write down all the good things that happened to you from the day you left for Japan to the day you left. Write down all the negative things too, and move on in a direction to create another path. Stop thinking of what was because it will be like tying an anchor to your body while swimming in the ocean. Let the anchor go and swim to a new beginning with the knowledge you have now from all that anxiety troubling your life.

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  2. GoldenGorillaKilla
    Ağustos 5, 2025 - 7:52 pm

    All good, this isn’t that big of a deal. Make sure as you find a digital community. You write all of this out in a notebook, it helps to compartmentalize your feelings and thoughts to offset ruminating on this past event.
    I have done this exact thing 3 times in my life so know that you are doing better than me. 😊
    Give yourself some grace, you can always go back if you really want to and or find a similar job you enjoy.

    What do you think was causing the anxiety? Any trigger(s)? Maybe you loved the job and Japan but the pace or amount of people caused anxiety?

    We need a little more details on why you think the anxiety sparked to a point of you leaving?

    A session of CBT or looking into meds as a safety net if and when this debilitating anxiety comes back wouldn’t hurt.

    I recall leaving because I loved SF so much but had so much anxiety in my sales job. It would be close to the holidays and I would move home. It gave me a break, family, and a new chapter. I would then regret leaving such a high paying job, amazing city, and friends. In hindsight, I should have gone home and used a bunch of PTO or searched for a different job versus packing up my life and jumping away. I was stressing myself out working hard to then play hard on the weekends. A lot of play that made my anxiety/depression spark when I would return to the work week.
    Resulting in me blaming my brain or the location not being the best fit.

    There is a lot of variability to consider in this shared experience.
    This next point might apply to me a bit more even though I’m not an alcoholic but psychologists and AA members commonly see a “geographic” among members. One impulsively moves to a new town or city thinking it will solve issues of addiction, sadness, or anxiety. Only to find that they didn’t resolve or attempt to resolve internal changes or behavioral patterns.

    Keep moving forward, be better than the person you were yesterday. Give yourself some grace and forgiveness. It’s all hindsight 20-20. I would suggest finding a similar job in Canada and see if that helps, work with a professional and express these feelings. Reddit is great but talking to a professional and starting a journal will help offset this situation occurring again.

    If this is one of your big regrets and subjective mistakes. You are doing fine, keep moving forward. Keep the dream alive as my dad always says. You are not your thoughts, you are not this minor decision you made. You have plenty more chapters to write. Maybe in the end this was a perfect reset that gave you clarity of a job your loved. It’s actually pretty awesome you found clarity and have refined a job you enjoy. Many of us are forever searching for a job we enjoy. Consider best case scenario, you reset, spend time with family. Soon you move to a place similar to Japan with a similar job. You find more satisfaction but these variables will never be the perfect solution. We all find a lot of tradeoffs in life and no perfect solution(s).

    Keep moving forward! Stay healthy, stay well. Good luck, you are going to be fine.

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