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3 ve kadim dostu 1 olan sj'yi rakamla giriniz. ( 31 )

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Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

My boyfriend wont protect me from creeps.

I went to a bar last night as my boyfriend was on shift and I didn’t want to be home alone. This guy starts grabbing me, whispering in my ear, taking photos of me and getting aggressive when I told him I had a boyfriend. My boyfriend watched as this happened. I was dressed all covered up and was just trying to read my book but this guy kept trying to touch me. My boyfriend stood there blanked faced and did nothing. In the end I left the bar and ran home terrified. Not once did he stick up for me. The most he did was say that I left because he made me feel uncomfortable. No intervention no nothing. Just some strict sentence and the silent treatment towards the guy. i feel let down.

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28 Yorumları

  1. What did *you* do to “protect” yourself from the guy/turn him down? Your boyfriend probably just wanted to see how you’d behave without him being your protector/make sure you know you have agency (which from your description, you didn’t demonstrate until you “ran home terrified”)

  2. Now whats your built size Bf cause if he’s built as a stick and the creep has weight on him not only now he could potentially get his ass beat but even escalating the situation an which the both of u could be in “danger” laws of the jungle the weak cowers to the strong

  3. I have a feeling this was made up…why is the “boyfriend” replying to the comments? Pretty sure if this were a real situation, and the bf saw the post? He wouldn’t just sit here typing out responses to random strangers. He would try to handle it privately. Also, who calls their manager their “superior?” (Reference to one of his comments)

  4. While I agree that he should have said something, he is also allowed to be afraid of confrontation too.

  5. Honestly it sounds like your boyfriend is just a very non aggressive person. Society has a standard that men must protect and fight for their lover, which is a toxic and unrealistic standard to have. Men can be scared of confrontation too. You aren’t a coward. You’re human.

  6. In defence of boyfriend, most men know that sometimes the cost of intervention can be violence, so they’ll weigh up the situation before wading in. Most women I know can handle a dickhead, and I’ll step in if I feel that she’s losing control. It happens, but it’s a huge risk for men, especially if alcohol is involved. Don’t be so quick the condemn your man, he may not be confident with yeh risk

  7. 1. Does he know you expect him to defend you?
    2. Are you coming in specifically for this purpose and your boyfriend is sick of the games?

  8. So 16 minutes ago you respond as bf, then one minute later as gf. This is fake AF.

  9. This is upsetting in general as I think more bar employee should be able to keep an eye out for this kind of aggression, particularly since 1 of them is dating you.

  10. Protect yourself sweetie. Don’t rely on anyone else to do it for you.

  11. Novel experiences always expose our lack of readiness to act.

    He probably has never been in that situation. Discuss with him a plan of action, practice the plan.

    He also needs to research all his options and legal considerations from his action and certainly discuss the matter with his supervisor so he can assist anyone in that predicament.

    It will not be a problem next time.

  12. I get it. He should have helped you but I want to recommend assertive training for you as well. Learn to speak up and protect yourself. It’s ok to yell at the person. Embarrass them. Be loud and assertive. Take self defense classes as well. Your boyfriend failed you for sure but your timidness is a liability and I want you to become a strong, assertive woman so you don’t need someone else to save you. You can do it. You have it in you!

  13. This is kind of a weird thing to peg on your boyfriend. He’s not a bodyguard and he was busy with the bar, it’s a job with a lot of things going on at once. It would have been hard to get the full picture.

    What if you didn’t have a bf what would the plan be?

    Unfortunate fact of life is you may need to develop a way to deal with creeps yourself. A taser, pepper spray or w/e or just loudly calling out the jerk in a public place.

    Did you ever idk, flag your bf down and tell him?

    A lot of macho bullshit in this thread.

  14. Run…you are wasting your time. this is definitely a dealbreaker.

  15. He isn’t a great bf and is even worse as a bar employee. If bf had been busy, he could at least told the guy to leave you alone or he have to get his drinks elsewhere. He literally did nothing and let you get manhandled repeatedly. Was the guy his boss or something?

    Did he even call or text to make sure you at least got home safely? Not that I would want to talk to him ever again.

  16. Yeah your boyfriend should have had the guy thrown out. This has nothing to actually do with you being his girlfriend but as a customer you were being harassed and assaulted/battered (never know what the right term is for unwanted touching) by another.

    So he’s failed on that part.

  17. (Hopefully now ex) Boyfriend tossed away whatever confidence and trust you had in him, that is on him.

  18. I work at a bar sometimes and I would even actively make sure that guy leaves the bar and doesn’t come back, even if I didn’t even know you.

  19. What he did was so wrong on so many levels. If he wasn’t man enough to stop this abuse, then he should have gotten someone he worked with to stop him. Especially in this day and age where many bars have signs or signals to give women an out when they are in trouble.

  20. I’m really sorry for your experience, but I have to wonder how much of this he _actually_ noticed.

    He was at work, and was probably busy. I know you say he “watched” and “stood there blankfaced” but you gotta ask how much of that is your perspective vs what his version of events would be.

    >The most he did was say that I left because he made me feel uncomfortable.

    I’m not sure I understand what this interaction looked like.

    Again, I’m sorry you had a bad time, and I have no doubt you experienced what you experienced.

  21. Did he have an explanation?! Did he freeze up? apologize for being an ass?

  22. With all due respect……your “BF” is a fucking BITCH.

  23. This would be upsetting if he wasn’t your boyfriend and was just some guy that worked for the bar. The fact that he was both makes it even worse. You should seek greener pastures, either he didn’t care enough about you to do something about the guy, or he was too dim or cowardly to see that what the guy was doing was wrong. Either way you deserve better.

  24. Always be with someone who values you and will protect you.