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My bf wants to be a photographer… shooting naked models

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 13 years, living together, no kids. Ever since our first months together, he liked to take pictures of me, and he especially liked nude photography. It made me feel sexy, and it aroused him immensely. During the years we did that more and more rarely. I am almost 40 y/o now and during the pandemic I have gained about 20 pounds over my usual weight (and I’ve never been skinny). Even though people still tell me that I look great, I don’t feel sexy at all. He still tries to “arrange” some “photoshootings”, but at the same time he hasn’t told me that I look beautiful or sexy in years (also the reason why I don’t feel good about myself anymore). So, you can imagine my desire to have nude photos taken.

In addition to that, he has taken up photography as a hobby, he has bought a camera, etc. Honestly, he isn’t that good. I’m a graphic designer and I could tell he doesn’t have talent with art, but I liked that he had a hobby. At first I thought that he was going to shoot nature, animals, etc., as most people do. Then he went to private lessons to a photographer and after he signed up, I understood that the teacher is a boudoir photographer. Even though the course encompassed other topics, too, they did have boudoir photography lessons with some nude models. As you can expect, the models were young, skinny and pretty, as the teacher is famous for working only with perfect models, he doesn’t even want to do photos if a model has gained as little as 3 pounds.

I took it with stoically, but now my bf is constantly looking at nude photos on the internet, Instagram, etc. And, yes, we’re not talking about emotional, real-women, art photos, but only perfect young models. He says it’s for an inspiration and that he’s thinking about becoming a photographer. I know it’s not happening, because he doesn’t have the ambition to start a whole new business career, and because he doesn’t have the talent to profit from it. But even the idea still hurts me. I feel like 1) he just wants to look at beautiful nude girls, and 2) I’m not beautiful enough for him anymore.

I feel really disappointed with my life at that moment…

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4 Yorumları

  1. So he is taking his kink and saying he is going to objectify women through a ‘business’ idea he has. That is creepy and gross. If he actually ever gets a ‘client’ hopefully they will quickly see that he is a creeper and he will gain a reputation of being a creeper. With regards to his online viewing of photos – seems like his kink is growing. So, time to have a sit down.

  2. I understand the pandemic was hard on us all in diff ways. You managed to limit your weight gain & you’re still living together after 13 years, which is not too bad compared to other examples.
    Now I can’t change the way you feel about yourself but let me tell you this, most couples I talk to go through many stages of the relationship. Usually starts fiery, hot, sexual and transitions to I hate his/her habits, then they become more into the person, they don’t see the weight gain, grey hair, wrinkled skin saggy balls, etc…
    If that was a deal breaker all couples would split in under a decade. The way you see yourself is only in your head, it might not be even apparent to him as it is to you. The good thing is that you’re aware and will do something about it for yourself, not anyone else (if that’s what you choose).
    As for his nude photography hobby, I think he wanted to do this all his life but didn’t have the means or chance, so it’s nothing new. If he’s a bad photographer as you say, he’ll get bad reviews and will find out sooner that’s he’s no good at it.
    As for you focus on yourself, it’s all in your mind and from the way you expressed yourself, I can see a strong and confident woman who has been shaken by a few pounds. I say shake the pounds and get your self esteem back.
    Good luck!

  3. I think it’s creepy AF that your boyfriend wants to pursue photographing nude young women as his hobby. And he’s delusional to think hot 20 somethings are going to line up at his door, asking to be photographed. I think this situation is ripe for couples therapy. It is totally understandable why you would not be okay with this and I think an unbiased third party may need to help get it through your bf’s head.

  4. Quit being jealous. If he wants to leave you, he will with or without the camera. Let it go, like this he could only make more money, which you can spend on food.