Sorry, this is a bit of a long one!
One of my (25M) best mates (26M) told my girlfriend (25F) that he has a crush on her. The three of us were out having drinks with 3 other good friends when at some point in the night he took her aside and told her he has had a crush on her for “the longest time but please don’t tell Timmy (me)”.
My girlfriend got annoyed at him for the timing and place he chose to say this and told him to stop talking about it and then she told me what happened the next day.
I don’t know how to feel right now (besides pretty pissed off). He’s been my best mate for 7 years and my girlfriend and I have been together just a little longer than that. Our friend group has always been super close so in the past it was completely normal that he would go grab a coffee or whatever with her, even if I wasn’t there to join. Now both my girlfriend and I are completely unsure if he did things like that because he was genuinely friends with her or if he was just trying to spend time with his “crush”.
And then there is just the total disrespect to me by telling her in the first place but worst of all telling her to not tell me about it (as if she wouldn’t). What was he trying to achieve by telling her?
Basically I just feel completely mugged off and my girlfriend feels like her whole friendship with him was based on half-truths and doesn’t know if he was only spending time with her because he was interested in her romantically.
How do I approach this with him? Right now I just want to avoid him like the plague but he is in the same friend group as me and my other pals so he’ll basically be impossible to avoid long-term.
TLDR: Best friend of 7 years told my girlfriend he has always had a crush on her but told her not to tell me. She did anyway and I feel like he completely mugged me off and I’m not sure what his motive was now in telling her.