Medical Problems affecting marriage
It’s been a 1.5 years that I’ve been dealing with a rare medical problem. My wife is 31, and I am 35. We’ve been together for 12 years, and we’re best friends having done everything together. We have two boys aged 1.5 and 4.
I have a government job and even worked part time on the side with wood working to make extra money for our family.
In June 2020, I hit the back of my head off a harvest table and I eventually 14 days later. I collapsed, but I was conscious and later developed a host of symptoms. I yelled for help and my wife simply yelled at me to go
to bed. I even had to call the doctor myself and she says she had the kids to watch.
Fast forward to June 2021 and my symptoms spiralled, and I had seen 8 different doctors regarding my declining physical health. Instead of supporting me, my wife mocked me by imitating my neurological symptoms, verbally abused me, and even physically she was treating me unfairly. Her own family who I was the first to help in any situation began to mock me and threaten me to stop acting the way I was acting or they would have me removed from the home I purchased before we were even married.
I didn’t know what was happening to me or my body. I had an MRI, ENG, and autoimmune blood work all showing abnormal neurological and serological results, but doctors instead of not admitting they simply didn’t know said I was psychiatric to put an end to it, and my wife went along with it. She did not once attend an appointment or stand up for me. She’s a good mom and was a good wife leading up to this chaos.
I was told to be a man and suck it up. There is immense corruption in the healthcare system, and I knew this was inaccurate because my results were very abnormal but no one including my wife wanted to put in the effort to medically help me. She threatened to leave me if I continued to pursue my health, so my parents stepped in and decided to drive me to the US against her wishes.
There they determined I had a systemic problem (a pathology affecting my entire body), an elusive disease and that it wasn’t in my head. After, I visited 2 Canadian doctors and they told me anyone who thinks it’s in my head is ignorant (my wife), and agreed it was systemic and that it’s likely an aggressive rheumatological disease but that wasn’t common or characteristic. Now my wife is listening but almost wanting them to be wrong to prove she’s right? It’s kind of twisted how she’s thinking and not in my best interests which again is pretty messed up. This is almost a game to her, and I keep declining a little by little each day.
I will admit, I’ve changed, but not out of choice, which really hurts because she’s carrying on and turning it around that I put her down and that I’m bad for my own family.
I feel I’m with a stranger. What should I do?