Been together 7 or so years and married the last few. And struggling recently.
I have just begun to feel – or am just now realizing – like I don’t get anything back from my wife in this marriage. No emotional support – she basically blanks me if she even thinks I might be upset/sad. No contribution financially. I pay 100% of our shared finances. No errands/responsibility for house stuff. I grocery shop, pay the bills and deal with anything related to general upkeep. No affection. All kisses/hugs/handholding, etc. is initiated by me – without that initiation they’d likely not happen. No physicality/sex. At about sex twice a month with no other sexual acts like blowjobs or hell even making since year 2. No company. She spends 80+% of her free time away/out of the house doing a hobby of hers – a hobby she can only afford because I take on all of our finances. No conversations unless I initiate them. I feel like if I was away for a weekend, she wouldn’t text me unless I did it first. I am near a point where I am starting to look at this relationship from the outside and my view is slowly becoming: what exactly am I getting out of this? How do I keep contributing so much without any feeling of gratitude or love?
It sucks because I know I love her. I express it in words and actions all the time. With her it’s said but nothing else she does feels like the words have meaning to her. Which is why I feel like…do they mean anything? Or am I just financial support, stability and that’s about it? I am not sitting here expecting her to grovel at my feet or break her back showering me love…but just any sense that she’s actually invested in this relationship, in me…any sense that she actually cares or appreciates anything I do would be nice.
Has anyone dealt with this/reached a point in a relationship where this feeling hit you? How’d you deal with it and more importantly…what was the result? I know I have to speak with her but man, it feels like she’s already checked out. Either out of love with me or found something/someone else which keeps her away at her “hobby” and satisfied enough to tolerate me. I don’t know. Just worrying about what revelations/reactions confronting her about come up.
TLDR: Wife has been distant and offers very little to the relationship that doesn’t just benefit her. Feel like shes just with me because I provide financial stability.