I’m 24F and my cousin is 21X (gender-exploring). For most of my life I’ve lived in Spain and they have lived in the US. Three years ago, I moved to the US and spent a year and a half living with them.
From the get-go, we have gotten along really well. We have shared a lot of interests in common, share similar worldviews, etc.
But lately… I’ve been feeling a little suffocated. The pandemic hasn’t helped and I feel them reaching out and needing support and I feel like an asshole for keeping my distance, but my initial reaction when I begin to feel like someone is clinging to me is to push back to create personal space.
Not only that, but we’ve been getting into petty arguments and I’ve been feeling more drained and exhausted talking to them.
I get frustrated when they don’t get where I’m coming from, or don’t back down from their opinion, and then I feel like I did the wrong thing because I know that they’re on the spectrum and we’re at different levels of maturity in some ways, but because we’ve been so close it’s like a disjointed expectation of what our relationship should look like.
Anyway, I’m not sure what to do. I expect that I should be the one to change some of the ways in which I respond to/treat them, and I need to learn to set some new boundaries, but I still feel a little lost as to HOW to go about doing that.