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Flood göndermek, insanların floodlarını okumak ve diğer insanlarla bağlantı kurmak için sosyal Floodlar ve Flood Yanıtları Motorumuza kaydolun.

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Flood göndermek, insanların floodlarını okumak ve diğer insanlarla bağlantı kurmak için sosyal Floodlar ve Flood Yanıtları Motorumuza giriş yapın.

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3 ve kadim dostu 1 olan sj'yi rakamla giriniz. ( 31 )

Üzgünüz, Flood yazma yetkiniz yok, Flood girmek için giriş yapmalısınız.

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Lütfen bu cevabın neden bildirilmesi gerektiğini kısaca açıklayın.

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How do I (19F) tell my partner (18M) I need him to do more for me?

Hi everyone! I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over 2 months now, but we were friends for almost 5 months before we started our relationship. He was in a bad place at the beginning of our relationship but he’s gotten a lot better. I’m in college and he’s in high school, and I drive 3 hours every weekend to see him. I bring him food, get him flowers, take him out on dates, write him love letters, listen to the music he likes, went on the pill for him, etc. I always do what he wants to do even if I don’t want to do it. For example, if I want to go out somewhere on a real date, he just wants to stay home and cuddle. I’ll do that for him, because I don’t want to make him do something he doesn’t want to do. I’m always all over him and he LOVES what I do for him and the attention I give him. However, he doesn’t really do anything for me. He tells me he loves me all the time, and he loves kissing me. His love language is physical touch, so I get plenty of it, but I feel like it’s almost more for him. I liked taking care of him when he really needed it, but now it’s starting to feel like I’m his mom. I want to receive flowers too. I want him to take me out to do something he knows I’ll love. I want him to be thoughtful. I want surprises and love letters and I want to go out into the world and have a good time doing something with him. I want to feel special. I just don’t know how to tell him what I need from him without making him feel like a bad boyfriend. I don’t want to make him feel like shit and I don’t want to ask too much of him. How do I start this conversation and what do I say?

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3 Yorumları

  1. You’re turning a 7 month old friendship/dating into way more than it should be.

    Simply ask him to do things you want to do. Stop doing things exclusively just for his sake. That creates and unbalanced relationship, and it’s unhealthy.

    Driving three hours, doing everything just for him including gifts isn’t being as good a GF as you think. It creates unrealistic expectations for the long run, unless you plan on being that attentive with a husband you’re married to for 25 years.

  2. Tell him exactly what you wrote here. You chose to do all those things for him, he didn’t ask for it. Just tell him you expect to do the same in return.

  3. > I always do what he wants to do even if I don’t want to do it.

    You might think this is the peak of love, but it’s the exact opposite. This is an unhealthy and unsustainable dynamic. He’s a priority in this relationship as much as you should be. Equals.

    You enjoy doing all those things for him because you’re that type of person. You’ve been doing this without being asked from the start of your relationship because you’re the nurturing type. He doesn’t sound like he is that type of person so it’s unrealistic, in my opinion, to expect him to change this about himself.

    Furthermore, and more long term, if you can’t find a way to ask for what you need in a general sense, you become the target of abusers looking for a doormat. So please be careful.