Why the penis is better than the ballsack (a response)

𝔬𝔥 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔤𝔬𝔡, 𝔦 𝔞𝔠𝔠𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔶 𝔥𝔞𝔱𝔥 𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲 𝔞 𝔭𝔦𝔠𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔠𝔨 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔟𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔰…𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔢 𝔡𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔢 𝔦𝔱!! ’𝔏𝔢𝔰𝔱…𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲 𝔡𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔨? 𝔥𝔞𝔥𝔞 ℑ 𝔧𝔢𝔰𝔱, 𝔡𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔢 𝔦𝔱…𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔢 𝔠𝔯𝔞𝔳𝔢… 𝔥𝔞𝔥𝔞 𝔫𝔞𝔶, 𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔦𝔱…’𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔱?

Damn you! How dare you go against the scared word of ME!

I shall teach you the correct ways.

First off. You said the penis is more iconic. That is true, in a specific situation. The ballsack has gained more notoriety over the years and now it is one with the penis. A penis is nothing without a ball sack. A penis takes a long time to recognize without its signature ballsack. A ballsack however can be recognized easily for its simple, but unique shape.

You mentioned the penis to be aerodynamic and able to bulldoze through anything. However, that is false. The penis is a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets. But since you’re on Reddit, you’ve obviously not used yours yet. A penis’ strength is only determined by how much times you’ve used it. Which is not the same for the ballsack. Unless God has forsaken you, your ballsack should be functioning correctly right out of the gate (no pun intended.) a penis can’t even be used for its purpose until your teenage years. Also, the mushroom head is admittedly great, however, there is a lot of room for error. Some are born too big or too red. And God forbid you’re circumcised, a circumcised head is one of the most disgusting things I can think of. It’s all dry and has these little cracks and stuff. Plain ugly.

To say the body spends most resources on the penis is plainly wrong. The body spends a lot of energy on the ballsack. Since the ballsack is so important, the body spends a lot of energy relocating it so it’s in tip top shape all the time. The ballsack is a master crafted piece that requires the perfect conditions, and your brain knows that, that’s why your brain relocated it. Does your penis fully retract inside your body when it’s cold? Nope. Does your penis fully hang out when it’s warm? Nope. The brain doesn’t care nearly as much for the penis as it does for the ballsack, and that is saying something.

The only reason penises have imitators is because humans are lazy. If we truly cared about replicating the penis, the ballsack would be included. Humanity has not catches up with the importance of the ballsack, yet. However, I will change that. I will make sure every human knows the importance of their ballsack and how to take care of it.

And now, for my final point. You’re gay. The penis is awful to suck on. It hurts your mouth if you suck it for too long and the aftertaste is awful. The penis is very sensitive so if it simply touched your teeth you start whining and whatnot. The ballsack however, the ballsack is easy to suck on and will not hurt your mouth. And also, the taste is incomparably better. The ballsack has a subtle taste, but with a small hint of saltiness. If the ballsack is up to standards, there should not be hair on it. And there is no awful aftertaste to sucking a ballsack. Once you stop neglecting your balls you’ll realize how important and pretty they are. It is time to cease this foolishness.