Güncel Floodlar En sonuncu Floodlar

circumcised_eggplant
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Amk n*wi

seggs

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Bugün erken saatlerde neredeyse seks yapıyordum Bugün erken saatlerde peynir ve domuz pastırması almak için süpermarkete gittim. Orada çalışan kızın yanına gittim ve “Günaydın, size nasıl yardımcı olabilirim?” dedi. Bu yaramaz kaltağın sabah 7’de kendini bana teklif ettiğine inanamadım ama kendimi sakinleştirmeyi başardım ve “Günaydın. 300 gr mozzarella peyniri ve 300 gr domuz pastırması istiyorum lütfen” dedim. Benim siparişim üzerine çalışmaya başladı ve bir süre sonra yanıma gelip “Efendim ben 300 gr peynir yerine yanlışlıkla 350 gr peynir koymuşum. Bırakabilir miyim yoksa birazını çıkarayım mı?” Kahretsin. Bu cum bağımlısı sürtüğün az önce söylediklerine inanamadım. Sadece 300 gr peynir istediğimi biliyordu ama istediğimi vermek yerine benimle sevişmeye karar verdi. Size açıklayacağım: 300g ve 350g peynir arasındaki fark nedir? Bu doğru, 50 gram. 50 gram başka ne var? Evet, bu bir prezervatif paketinin ortalama ağırlığı ve aynı zamanda bir cinsel ilişki sırasında dışarı atılan ortalama sperm miktarıdır. Ve en kötüsü, hangi cümlenin 50 harf olduğunu biliyor musunuz? “Ah baba lütfen benim amımı yok et ve küçük sürtük kıçımı boşalt”. Bu fahişenin cüretkarlığı karşısında şok olmuştum ama bundan daha iyiydim. Ona biraz peynir çıkarmasını söyledim ve “308g uygun mu efendim?” dedi. Bu noktada titriyordum ve titriyordum. Kendini böyle küçük düşürdüğüne inanamadım. 8 harfli olanı biliyor musun? “Seni seviyorum”. Ama ben onu sevmedim, bu ilgiden mahrum kalan o geriliği sevmedim. Ben de sadece “Senin planlarına boyun eğmeyeceğim. Kendine daha çok değer vermelisin, sen bundan daha iyisin” dedim. Kasada ürünlerimin parasını öderken büyük bir gürültü duydum ve baktım ki kız ve diğer tüm bayan çalışanlar hep bir ağızdan ağlıyormuş. Doğru şeyi yaptığımı bilerek süpermarketten ayrıldım.

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24 Yanıtlar

  1. This is the man who rejects simpery. This man is a gigachad by default. Respect

    This is the man who rejects simpery. This man is a gigachad by default. Respect

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  2. I almost had sex earlier today I went to the supermarket earlier today, to buy some cheese and bacon, you know? So I went up to the girl working there and she said: "Good morning, how can I help you?" I couldn't believe this naughty bitch was offering herself to me at 7 am, but I managed to keep mysDevamını oku

    I almost had sex earlier today

    I went to the supermarket earlier today, to buy some cheese and bacon, you know? So I went up to the girl working there and she said: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

    I couldn’t believe this naughty bitch was offering herself to me at 7 am, but I managed to keep myself calm and said: “Good morning. I want 300g of mozzarella cheese and 300g of bacon please.”

    She started working on my order, and after a while she came to me and said “Sir, I acidentally put 350g of cheese instead of 300g. Can I leave it or do you want me to take some off?”

    Holy fucking shit. I couldn’t believe what this cum-addicted slut just said. She knew I only wanted 300g of cheese, but instead of giving me what I asked for she decided to try to have sex with me. I’m gonna explain it to you: what’s the difference between 300g and 350g of cheese? That’s right, 50 grams. What else has 50 grams? Yes, that’s the average weight of a condom packaging, and also the average amount of sperm expelled during a sexual act. And worst of all, do you know which sentence has 50 letters? “Oh daddy please destroy my pussy and cum in my little slut ass”.

    I was shocked at the audacity of this whore, but I was better than this. I told her to take a little bit of cheese off, and she said: “is 308g alright sir?” I was shaking and sharting at this point. I couldn’t believe she was humiliating herself like this. Do you know what has 8 letters? “I love you”. But I didn’t love her, I didn’t love this attention deprived thot back. So I just said: “I’m not going to give in to your schemes. You should value yourself more, you are better than this”.

    As I was paying for my products at the cashier I could hear a great commotion, and I saw that the girl and all the other female employees were crying in unison. I left the supermarket knowing that I did the right thing.

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  3. When she said “is .308 alright sir?” She was asking what type of lead your brain wants to eat

    When she said “is .308 alright sir?” She was asking what type of lead your brain wants to eat

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  4. If you cum out 50g of sperm I'm giving you a medal

    If you cum out 50g of sperm I’m giving you a medal

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  5. Sounds just like the 14 yr old boy who hit me in the face because I sat next to another boy in gym. The only thing I had ever said to him was Hi. He tried telling everyone I was hi girlfriend and deserve to be hit.

    Sounds just like the 14 yr old boy who hit me in the face because I sat next to another boy in gym. The only thing I had ever said to him was Hi. He tried telling everyone I was hi girlfriend and deserve to be hit.

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  6. How do you consciously write something like this

    How do you consciously write something like this

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  7. Secs is very bad u/circumcised_eggplant 😳😳☝️☝️

    Secs is very bad u/circumcised_eggplant 😳😳☝️☝️

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  8. Who tf is pumping out 50g of sperm on a normal day

    Who tf is pumping out 50g of sperm on a normal day

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  9. bro shat out 20 copypastas within a few hours 💀💀

    bro shat out 20 copypastas within a few hours 💀💀

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  10. ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⢀⣠⡔⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣻⣟⣿⣿⡿⣟⣛⣿⡃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣾⣿⣷⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣟⣿⣿⠺⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡝⠻⠵⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣧⠈⣛⣛⣿⣿⡿⣡⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠄⠙⠛⠛⢁⣴⣿⣿⣷⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⢠⠄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁Devamını oku

    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⢀⣠⡔⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣻⣟⣿⣿⡿⣟⣛⣿⡃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣾⣿⣷⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣟⣿⣿⠺⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡝⠻⠵⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣧⠈⣛⣛⣿⣿⡿⣡⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠄⠙⠛⠛⢁⣴⣿⣿⣷⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⢠⠄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠄⠄⢀⠠⠐⠒⠐⠾⠿⢟⠋⠁⠄⢀⣀⠠⠐⠄⠂⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠄⢀⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠒⠉⠄⢠⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠫⢿ ⣿⣿⡟⠄⢔⠆⡀⠄⠈⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⡀⠄⠈⡐⢠⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣂ ⣿⣿⠁⡀⠄⠄⢇⠄⠄⢈⠆⠄⠄⢀⠔⠉⠁⠉⠉⠣⣖⠉⡂⡔⠂⠄⢀⠔⠁⠄ ⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠹⣗⣺⠤⠄⠰⡎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢯⡶⢟⡠⠰⠄⠄⠄⠄

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  11. plot twist op is actually a super genius with an IQ of 400 and she was actually doing what he said

    plot twist op is actually a super genius with an IQ of 400 and she was actually doing what he said

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