My cat is addicted to masturbating and cocaine

My cats name is Tom. I noticed that my Cocaine was missing, I hotplated some, but before the act of consuming a schedule II psychoactive substance I took a quick piss, guess what, my lovely cat was licking all the cocaine off
the plate, I rapidly tried to move the cat away but, my cat was high on cocaine and if you know anything about cocaine, it doesn’t mix well with crazy fucking cats. Tom jumped on me and started biting and scratching me. I had no other choice but to let this lunatic do his thing. A couple of days pass and found out that Mr. Tom is masturbating for hours, he took one of his pillows and made a hole in it, for the now
cocaine cat penis to go in. I thought of ways how to get the cat off drugs,
after years of thought I finally came to a conclusion. I had 2 possible ways to end this fiasco. 1 – Powerful DMT trip and 2 – Tranquilize the cat and put him in rehab. I thought the best way was 1 because there are multiple reports
online of people quitting drugs after a DMT trip. So I made something like a trap, it works by putting a sensor under the “reward” which was a freshly hot plated uncut Columbian cocaine straight out of the brick. After
the cat is tricked and enters the box, the sensor is activated, then the door is closed and 60 mg of DMT vapor is released into the box. So I prepared the trap and everything worked out as planned, the cat started to trip balls and then he died from cocaine overdose because he passed out on the cocaine powder, then obviously inhaled the cocaine.