I want to fuck the Linux penguin.

The Linux Tux penguin image is the symbol of one of the world’s most influential and important software projects of our time. Although Microsoft’s Windows operating system is more well-known to the average person, nonetheless the venerable Linux kernel is more likely than not just as involved in their life, when it comes to Android phones, set top boxes, TVs, Chromecasts, the servers that run their favorite websites, and the operating system of choice for their creepy uncle whose anime figurine collection has a lot of risky looking figures.

With all of this notoriety and influence, it perhaps comes as no surprise that I want to pin down that little penguin and force my chode as deep as it will go in their chocolate love hole.

When Linux was first released, Linus ultimately chose a then fairly unproven development model and software licensing scheme. These humble beginnings would quickly turn into a vast ecosystem of companies and individual users alike, all mutually benefiting from an open kernel that, while not implementing quite a perfect facsimile of the POSIX system, from the kernel perspective, still was compatible enough to interop with software for UNIX machines and even run some UNIX a.out binaries almost untouched.

But what wouldn’t go untouched on my watch is the fat penis and huge balls on that little horny Tux fella. I’m not gay, but I’d suck that dick with enough force to pull a golf ball through a garden hose.

Today Linux is one of the most popular operating systems for embedded machines and server infrastructure. Despite that, it accounts for a lot less of the hentai than Microsoft Windows. This is a shame, because the one thing I can say for sure is that I want to plug that penguin hole with my meatloaf and fill it with my man mayo.