Güncel Floodlar En sonuncu Floodlar

Shot_Consequence_490
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Amk n*wi

I became the first person to cum in 2022

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December 31st 2021 – I sat in my chair furiously masturbating my dick desperate to release gallons of sperm but I resisted the urge and I kept edging for 5 minutes carefully watching the clock on my PC. I waited in anticipation until finally it was 2022. I ejaculated releasing loads and loads of gooey white cum everywhere, I moaned with satisfaction, proud of my achievement.

I had just become the first person to cum in 2022. I look over my cum filled desk and chair with pride.

So all of you can go cry, because none of you will be able to claim my title of first person to cum in 2022. Go wallow in sorrow and self-pity at the fact that you missed the opportunity to ejaculate just when it reached the New Year at midnight. While you subhuman mere mortals are setting of fireworks at midnight, I am blasting a massive explosion of cum everywhere. Oh yes, I am now superior to everyone on the planet, bow down to me, the cum lord of 2022.

Happy new year, losers.

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45 Yanıtlar

  1. December 31st 2021 - I sat in my chair furiously masturbating my dick desperate to release gallons of sperm but I resisted the urge and I kept edging for 5 minutes carefully watching the clock on my PC. I waited in anticipation until finally it was 2022. I ejaculated releasing loads and loads of gooDevamını oku

    December 31st 2021 – I sat in my chair furiously masturbating my dick desperate to release gallons of sperm but I resisted the urge and I kept edging for 5 minutes carefully watching the clock on my PC. I waited in anticipation until finally it was 2022. I ejaculated releasing loads and loads of gooey white cum everywhere, I moaned with satisfaction, proud of my achievement.

    I had just become the first person to cum in 2022. I look over my cum filled desk and chair with pride.

    So all of you can go cry, because none of you will be able to claim my title of first person to cum in 2022. Go wallow in sorrow and self-pity at the fact that you missed the opportunity to ejaculate just when it reached the New Year at midnight. While you subhuman mere mortals are setting of fireworks at midnight, I am blasting a massive explosion of cum everywhere. Oh yes, I am now superior to everyone on the planet, bow down to me, the cum lord of 2022.

    Happy new year, losers.

    Daha az gör
  2. 31 December 2021. I pressed desperate desperately to break my uterus to release my father and I waited for some 2022. It doesn't matter where you are. I am proud of my satisfaction with the removal of goods and loading. 20 grams can be used by guests and chairs. So you cry because everyone can destrDevamını oku

    31 December 2021. I pressed desperate desperately to break my uterus to release my father and I waited for some 2022. It doesn’t matter where you are. I am proud of my satisfaction with the removal of goods and loading.

    20 grams can be used by guests and chairs.

    So you cry because everyone can destroy one nickname in 2022. The fact that going to a slow and psychological minute walls, you miss a chance to worship only when you get to the middle of the new year. Yeah, I’m now shattered 2022, melted.

    Happy New Year.

    Daha az gör
  3. Jokes I did this but am from New Zealand

    Jokes I did this but am from New Zealand

    Daha az gör
  4. I started cumming in 2021 and stopped in 2022. I was cumming at exactly 00:00:00:000. You are the second person to cum in 2022.

    I started cumming in 2021 and stopped in 2022. I was cumming at exactly 00:00:00:000. You are the second person to cum in 2022.

    Daha az gör
  5. Illegitimate, it wasn’t to daddy Dream. The council will decide your fate now.

    Illegitimate, it wasn’t to daddy Dream. The council will decide your fate now.

    Daha az gör
  6. Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been threeDevamını oku

    Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.

    Daha az gör
  7. And I was the first person to shit at exactly between 23:59:59 and 24:00:00

    And I was the first person to shit at exactly between 23:59:59 and 24:00:00

    Daha az gör
  8. Not my fault, my dog was right next to me

    Not my fault, my dog was right next to me

    Daha az gör
  9. Anon fails to realize the Australians already beat him.

    Anon fails to realize the Australians already beat him.

    Daha az gör
  10. OP lives in Tonga, Samoa, or the Phoenix islands Edit: Jarvis island is near those islands which is an epic stuff reference!!!!! this is freaking awesome

    OP lives in Tonga, Samoa, or the Phoenix islands

    Edit: Jarvis island is near those islands which is an epic stuff reference!!!!! this is freaking awesome

    Daha az gör
  11. Uhh i guess i was the first person who made noodles directly at 12:00?

    Uhh i guess i was the first person who made noodles directly at 12:00?

    Daha az gör
  12. Can't wait til he learns what timezones are.

    Can’t wait til he learns what timezones are.

    Daha az gör
  13. You and millions of others I'm sure, hundreds of not thousands of others for each time zone I'm sure. Good copypasta doe

    You and millions of others I’m sure, hundreds of not thousands of others for each time zone I’m sure.
    Good copypasta doe

    Daha az gör
  14. Average r/NewZealand user every new years.

    Average r/NewZealand user every new years.

    Daha az gör
  15. Teens back in 1943: *fights nazis* Teens today:

    Teens back in 1943: *fights nazis*

    Teens today:

    Daha az gör
  16. You maybe have been the first to ejaculate. But I'm sure I was the first to ajackalit

    You maybe have been the first to ejaculate.

    But I’m sure I was the first to ajackalit

    Daha az gör
  17. Oh yeah? I was dropping my nut as the ball dropped. So, I was going from year to year. 1 nut 2 years buddy.

    Oh yeah? I was dropping my nut as the ball dropped. So, I was going from year to year. 1 nut 2 years buddy.

    Daha az gör
  18. If the deed had been done too early, it would have been the last of 2021. Very akin to getting the last clap.

    If the deed had been done too early, it would have been the last of 2021.
    Very akin to getting the last clap.

    Daha az gör
  19. I don't know why ? But that shit is just fucking hilarious

    I don’t know why ? But that shit is just fucking hilarious

    Daha az gör
  20. Your wrong I did it at exactly 12 not a second ahead

    Your wrong I did it at exactly 12 not a second ahead

    Daha az gör