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Olindiass
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Amk n*wi

Does anyone know how to clean blood and shit out of a skirt

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Hello reddit recently, due to an (entirely heterosexual) encounter with a dildo and skirt, I have shit myself and cannot get it out of the carpet and skirt.

Basically, i bought a 15-inch red silicone t rex bad dragon dildo (for one of my many girlfriends not me I’m not gay) but when I was taking it out of the box I fell over wierdly and accidentally slid all 15 inches deep into my ass while wearing thigh highs and a skirt and jerking off with a gag in my mouth. but it went too deep and that made me have sudden explosive diarrhoea, and I guess the dildo must have punctured something cause there was a lot of blood in it, and then I got shocked and pissed myself right when I came (accidentally), so now there’s piss blood shit and cum in the carpet and all over the thigh highs and skirt and stuff and my parents are coming round tomorrow and I can’t get it out and there’s so much shit everywhere and my apartment has this vomit-inducing smell like someone died help what do I do?

(courtesy of u/AverageRedditor2018 )

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27 Yanıtlar

  1. I wish the asteroid missed, so the dinosaurs just ate all of us

    I wish the asteroid missed, so the dinosaurs just ate all of us

    Daha az gör
  2. First dump a bunch of ammonia on it then soak it in bleach ^dont

    First dump a bunch of ammonia on it then soak it in bleach

    ^dont

    Daha az gör
  3. I'd suggest you just throw everything out, if your parents ask you about the smell just say you felt sick earlier and puked or use something stronger to cover up the smell (perfume, air-freshener, mop the floor, etc). Regarding the blood, you should probably get that checked out, it sounds like theDevamını oku

    I’d suggest you just throw everything out, if your parents ask you about the smell just say you felt sick earlier and puked or use something stronger to cover up the smell (perfume, air-freshener, mop the floor, etc).

    Regarding the blood, you should probably get that checked out, it sounds like the dildo wasn’t lubricated and that could have tore some muscles, good luck totally-heterosexual-OP.

    /sigh, I should probably cut down on the amount of fanfiction I read…

    Daha az gör
  4. This is one of those fight fire with fire situations. You need more fresh shit and blood. Mix it into the existing mess and then mop it up with a rag. It is definitely the most effective all natural way.

    This is one of those fight fire with fire situations. You need more fresh shit and blood. Mix it into the existing mess and then mop it up with a rag. It is definitely the most effective all natural way.

    Daha az gör
  5. My mornings happen like this so much, I am starting to think it's habit forming

    My mornings happen like this so much, I am starting to think it’s habit forming

    Daha az gör
  6. You must perform a Billy Mays seance. Place five containers of OxiClean powder equidistantly around the stain. Pour the powder between them all in a pentagram shape and a circle around the edge. Light a candle on each box and chant the incantation "but wait there's more" five times. If you have perfDevamını oku

    You must perform a Billy Mays seance.

    Place five containers of OxiClean powder equidistantly around the stain. Pour the powder between them all in a pentagram shape and a circle around the edge.

    Light a candle on each box and chant the incantation “but wait there’s more” five times. If you have performed every step correctly, the spirit of Billy Mays will appear from beyond the grave and smite the stain from existence, fueled by the power OxiClean.

    Daha az gör
  7. someone once said "God will not return to finish us because he knows we will do it ourselves"

    someone once said “God will not return to finish us because he knows we will do it ourselves”

    Daha az gör
  8. I read every single one of these copypastas in yandere dev’s voice and they all fit perfectly

    I read every single one of these copypastas in yandere dev’s voice and they all fit perfectly

    Daha az gör
  9. so relatable, once I fell over so strangely at work, I work at a nuclear waste factory, and all my clothes were suddenly ripped off of me because of the radiation, and so strangely a pair of thigh-high socks and cat ears appeared onto me (maybe because of the corium that was inside the barrel i wasDevamını oku

    so relatable, once I fell over so strangely at work, I work at a nuclear waste factory, and all my clothes were suddenly ripped off of me because of the radiation, and so strangely a pair of thigh-high socks and cat ears appeared onto me (maybe because of the corium that was inside the barrel i was about to fall onto) and when I fell back, suddenly my asshole swallowed up the entire barrel and I started screaming because it was so very hot and it was ripping my asshole to shreds, I started yodelling and crying and slobbering and cumming and bleeding and shitting and pissing everywhere (very heterosexually) and then I got extreme radiation poisoning and I am writing this from my death bed but I’m not gay I swear

    Daha az gör